Everyday sexism

[exchemist]

Either way, we should ask ourselves why we value rash decisions over quality decisions.



I hope so, because if not, that’s one hell of a probe.

As Simon de Beauvoir pointed out, men define women relative to them, and more often than not, women represent the negative. Most insults directed towards other men are traits that are normally associated with women.

Men make jokes about out-groups to bond with other men when they’re feeling insecure, but as you’ve just experienced, making rash decisions can undermine your long-term goals, even if you have the best intentions.

A Christian group just tore down the one in California while shouting “Christ is King,” with the out-group being aliens from Mexico or outer space.

Perhaps it’s testosterone that can make someone feel bold enough to lead a group, but at the same time reduce their ability to lead well.

“Christ is king in this country. We don’t want illegal aliens from Mexico or outer space,” a man in the video says. “So, let’s tear this bitch down.”

https://streamable.com/1sngc0

Interesting point.

I have certainly observed, in the world of work, that a woman is more likely to be honest when she cannot answer with certainty, while a man may pretend he knows, to avoid what he sees as the failure implied in admitting doubt or lack of knowledge. But that's a generalisation, and those are no substitute for knowing the individual.

 

[paddoboy]

paddoboy:


That's not what I told you, and I'm not about to repeat myself. You can go back and read it again if you like.

Yes I read your comments, post 12. Perhaps I may have been drawing a long bow? So why don't we both stop drawing long bows James?

What is clear is that you're responding very selectively, avoiding all the hard questions and trying to straw man your way out of trouble. It's not working out well for you.

I believe I have responded to all your general remarks...
Anyway to sum it up...
[1] I certainly do not see the " Perhaps It's a female Alien: Can't make up her mind" statement from me, in context with the jocular fashion of the rest of that thread as sexist.
[2] I certainly do not see addressing any female as Love, or any female addressing me as Love, in the contexts I have mentioned as sexual or demeaning what so ever.
[3] Yes, I treat women differently, because they are different.
[4] I treat them all with respect governed of course by the way people treat me.
[5] Casual banter exists and is in the vast majority of cases, harmless and without any intention of sexualisation in any way shape or form.
Does that suffice?

The only people who will support you on this will be other sexist men.

A presumptious remark if there ever was one.

Very probably, yes. The underlying attitude I see is a lack of respect for a woman who replied to you and asked you reasonable questions.

And again, you would be demonstrably wrong James. In fact I probably have more respect for wegsy and her approach then most others.

You feel free to ignore her because she's a woman

Wrong again James. I have as I said total respect for her and simply did not want to get into a tooing and froing debate which I'm having with you anyway. Oh, and I also have not replied to others...Dave for instance, other then the one reply...why? Dave is another I respect whole heartedly, even though he is slightly mistaken on this issue and siding with yourself.

.
I'm well aware that the reality is that there is no shortage of sexist men out there

Agreed, but I'm not one of them. And as I have just said to wegs, they will always be around...always!! The same as we will always have all types of arseholes, male and female infesting the planet...did anyone really believe we could ever have a President of the USA like Trump for example?

Hopefully your children will do better than you did. Hopefully they will not model their behaviours on yours.

My Son is thankfully very much like me... responsible and respectful and stands for no nonsense and bullying. I taught him that as a kid, in a great example I have quoted on this forum in the past, but which I wont go into again.

That's about all I deem to be worthy of a response James, unless you have anything more?

 

[exchemist]

Indeed. I caught a faceful of flak here on his forum for mentioning smiling while holding a door open for a woman. I argued it was technically a sexist act (since I might not have smiled at a man), yet did not constitute misogyny.

Hmm, I'm guilty of smiling at women if they are pretty. The trouble is the older I get the prettier they seem. The good news is I'm so old that I am not seen as in any way threatening, so quite often they smile back. Which makes my day.

 

[paddoboy]

Indeed. I caught a faceful of flak here on his forum for mentioning smiling while holding a door open for a woman. I argued it was technically a sexist act (since I might not have smiled at a man), yet did not constitute misogyny.

I do that constantly, with both men and women. Technically a sexist act??? C'mon Dave, how far are we going to take such extremes?

And actually what exchemist said up there!!

 

[sculptor]

... The entire exchange is unnecessary. ...

Not if it's flirting it ain't.

 

[wegs]

Not if it's flirting it ain't.

Well, you answered my question above - what motivates you to call women you don’t know “babe.”

Now let’s see if paddoboy answers the question. lol

 

[wegs]

Indeed. I caught a faceful of flak here on his forum for mentioning smiling while holding a door open for a woman. I argued it was technically a sexist act (since I might not have smiled at a man), yet did not constitute misogyny.

I think every occasion is different - but I hesitate to criticize every gesture a man makes to benefit me, as a perceived slight due to my gender. There are nice people in the world and sometimes, we should just celebrate that without reading too much into it.

Most men on this forum seem smart enough to understand what patronizing looks like - so I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you were just being kind.

Random acts of kindness are nice to see.

 

[paddoboy]

You can call me wegsy. lol I’ll return to comment, later.

You can call me anything you like, except late for dinner!

I’ll leave with these comments though - I don’t get the sense that you’re malicious at all or misogynistic. But as mentioned above, many women go along with things to not rock the boat, when it comes to men making comments, so while you don’t see the problem with it (because you’re just being friendly) they may take it another way. (Especially if you’re a customer of theirs)

I wouldn't even see it as being friendly...It's used by both sexes in passing and that's it...gone, forgotten, no second thought wahtso ever.

But, then you make the joke on here about women (aliens) and now it’s not just a question of you being friendly by referring to women as “love,” etc., but more of a pattern forming that shows how you see women.

Did you take it in context with the total jovial nature of the thread it was taken from.

I don’t know you paddoboy, and you’ve always been kind to me on here. But I’m just chiming in to help you see others’ points.

That's because I see you as generally unbiased [despite some disgreement on this issue] fair, reasonable, and cool, calm and collected.

Standing up on the bus for women is a nice gesture. One might categorize it as chivalrous, a word that can be controversial at times. Some women might like it but others may find it patronizing, you know? If it’s well received, then that’s good. If you’re arguing with a woman to give her your seat because you want to appear chivalrous, not so good.

The argument from the woman in my encounter, wasn't an argument as such...more a appreciative surprise that such courtesy was still around in this day and age.
I was always taught as a kid going to a disciplinarian Catholic school, stand up for a lady on public transport.

 

[sculptor]

...
I was always taught as a kid going to a disciplinarian Catholic school, stand up for a lady on public transport.

Yeh, my mom taught me the same thing.,
and then
One fine day circa 1977, riding the elevated/subway in Chicago---heading for the university. A tall woman got on carrying two bags
so
I began to stand up while offered her my seat
and then
she went ballistic demanding of me if i thought she was crippled, and calling me a chauvinistic sexist pig
ok
she is standing over me and screaming at me and i am feeling really uncomfortable(maybe a little frightened)
At the next stop, an old man got on and I stood up and offered him my seat---he said thank you and sat down.
Ok, so now, I'm trying to retreat---moving to the other end of the car---and she was following me berating me all the time
eeek---oh nooooooo
so
at the next stop, I got off
It wasn't my stop, but another train would be coming along in a few minutes
................................
what the hell was she doing?
could that have been her idea of foreplay?

 

[Beer w/Straw]

Could we quite with personal anecdotal evidence from before I was born?

 

[sculptor]

Could we quite with personal anecdotal evidence from before I was born?

no babe

 

[Beer w/Straw]

no babe

Well then let me rephrase it:

Could we quite with personal anecdotal evidence ESPECIALLY from before I was born?

 

[sculptor]

Well then let me rephrase it:

and the answer remains
no babe
......................................
and
did you mean "quit" ?

 

[origin]

Are women more indecisive than men?

Yes, wait, no...

 

[paddoboy]

Yeh, my mom taught me the same thing.,
what the hell was she doing?
could that have been her idea of foreplay?

I would have told her what to do, in no uncertain terms I'm afraid.

 

[Beer w/Straw]

and the answer remains
no babe
......................................
and
did you mean "quit" ?

Well, why not?

And you gotta have a clue I was responding to more than just you in this thread.

 

[DaveC426913]

Could we quite with personal anecdotal evidence from before I was born?

Well, why not?

You are kidding, right?

 

[paddoboy]

Well, you answered my question above - what motivates you to call women you don’t know “babe.”

Now let’s see if paddoboy answers the question. lol

Sure! I don't use babe, never have. Or honey. and havn't in my experience heard others including women use it. Maybe a case of " horses for courses" not sure, but listening to the story, appears to be another passing by/throw away line one may use from either gender.
Nothing motivates me using " love" it just happens as used in passing, and I'm pretty sure the same sense/feeling exists when the opposite sex use it, no second thoughts or feelings of sexual inuendo whatsoever.

Taking our discussion further, it's simply in reality another form of PC, and much PC can be taken way far. eg: When I was employed by QANTAS, an edict from top management came down a few years ago, that manholes were not to be called manholes anymore... The union and first line management told the powers that be to go get stuffed. We continued to call them manholes...sometimes access holes but never person holes!

 

[sculptor]

I would have told her what to do, in no uncertain terms I'm afraid.

well
that makes one of us

 

[Michael 345]

she was following me berating me all the time

A fully paid up member of the Choir of The Church of the Perpetual I Am Offended Brigade
Sub Branch I Am Insulted You Think I Am Less Than You By Offering Me Your Seat

And don't give me some bullshit about being chivalrous you are trying to lord it over me