Everyday sexism

Discussion in 'Ethics, Morality, & Justice' started by James R, Dec 7, 2020.

  1. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    Last edited: Dec 7, 2020
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  3. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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    Is it? How about this.....
    A man asks, “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?” God responded, ”So you would love her.” The man asks, “But God, why did you make her so dumb?” God replied, “So she would love you.”


    Sheesh James, lighten up!!!

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  5. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    Of course you don't see it.

    How about you join the rest of us in the 21st century, and stop harassing women?
     
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  7. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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    Harassing women? You beginning to sound like that other fool James, you know, q-reeus. Desperation tactics with nothing to show to support your unsupportable mythical claim.

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    Oh, and I'm in the 21st century, and living the good life everyday, with my usual casual style addressing bank staff, shop assistants, ambulance crew, casual aquaintances, as mate/matey, or love, depending on the gender. Just as they address me and the Mrs, every day in every circumstance. If that makes me a mosogynist, then I'm in excellent company and proud of it.
    You maybe in the 21st century, but are you on this planet James.?
     
  8. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    Yes. The fact that you don't recognise it as such is neither here nor there.

    I quoted you. What more support do I need? We don't, for instance, need to refer back to a couple of previous threads in which your unapologetic attitudes towards women were laid bare for all to see. You've had months to digest what happened there, now, but it all appears to have flown over your head. That, or you just don't care (probably more likely).

    Like I said, we really don't need to revisit your sense of entitlement when it comes to addressing women in their workplaces.

    I don't understand why you're proud of your misogyny. A self defensive tactic, perhaps, or just turning a blind eye. Either way, you appear to be a lost cause, which is sad for the women who are forced to interact with you.

    Is it really that you can't understand, or you just refuse to?
     
  9. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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    Tell me James, who have I harassed?
    Or is this simply to impress another?
    And how would you feel if I made such allegations against you?
    The only thing laid bare was your hypocrisy and precious drama, when I dare give you back some of what you gave me.
    You quoted me? You mean this?
    " Must be a female Alien...can't make up her bloody mind"
    Actually I have had months to understand how normal and everyday my interactions have been [and still are] and the actions of those others with their interactions with me.
    All normal everyday speak, even with a couple of female ambulance staff attending my wife during the bushfire period and her asthmatic attack...Lovely couple of young women comforting the Mrs with take it easy darling, and telling me not to worry, she'll be fine Love.

    Actually I believe it is you impressing and saving face. If that upsets you, well so be it. And yes, I'm very proud as to how I treat all people, male or female on an equal footing when indulging in casual banter.
    I could relate another incident when we had our old boys reunion at Easts Leagues Bondi and the laughable and happy interactions between two Barmaids and a bunch of 9 old farts! See what I did there James?

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    Like I said, lighten up and get out into the real world.
     
  10. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    Since you've obviously forgotten our previous conversations on this topic, here's a link back (also for the benefit of anybody who wants to start at the start and judge for themselves):

    http://www.sciforums.com/threads/happy-australia-day.162771/

    When you make comments like "women can't make up their minds" you are stereotyping women. The truth, regardless of whether you believe it, is that women are no worse at making up their minds than men are.

    That kind of comment is sexist. It's the kind of everyday sexism that women have had to put up with from men like you for far too long. I don't want to live in your world where that kind of disrespect is accepted as par for the course. I want to see change. I want to help change things, even if it's in small ways. One way to help is by calling out the behaviour when I see it.

    You just don't get it. The problem of my virtue signalling, if that's even a fair assessment, is as nothing compared to your unthinking sexist attitudes. In fact, in your case the problem is worse, because you know what you're doing is wrong and yet you choose to continue to act immorally.

    Your response when I call you out on your everyday sexism is the standard response from men like you: "lighten up", it's no big deal, I'm allowed to be a sexist pig. No doubt you respond in the same way to women who call you out: "Lighten up, love, it's just a bit of fun!"

    If you made true and valid accusations that I had acted immorally in some way, I hope that I would carefully evaluate my behaviour and try to do better in the future. I think I would feel ashamed. You, on the other hand, say you feel pride rather than shame, which really says it all about you.

    That, and all the other examples of your sexism and harassment that I have discussed with you at length in other threads.

    Did you tell them they were unable to make up their minds?

    I've never seen you write "Men! Can't ever make up their bloody minds!" or similar.

    Why is that, if you're so even-handed about your observations of people's faults? Why is it that women are always the target of your little barbs and criticisms and jokey blokey asides, and never men (as a stereotyped group)?

    I see you raised the possibility of yet another example of sexist or harassing behaviour on your part towards young women. Do you plan on digging your hole deeper by providing the details, or did you raise that for some other reason?

    Lighten up, love. A pinch on the bum never hurt anyone. What, don't you like being whistled at in the street? What's your problem? Frigid?
     
  11. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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    You've shown nothing James except how you didn't like getting back what you gave. And since you linked to it, no I did not make an apology of sorts......after much tooing and froing I said perhaps we both need to apologise, as an olive branch.

    Are you that petty when you see the myriad of adds that stereotype men as naive...as well as women of course.
    Again lighten up!
    No I am not sexist or a mysoginist James, and whether you want to fabricate banter to appear that I am, I don't really care to much James, but will continue to refute your precious tactics.
    Crap James, as per the many examples I have given.
    More like q-reeus everyday James. And never once are you able to explain why the banter I use, is used back? That would burst your bubble James, correct?
    If your claims were true and correct, but they are not and nothing could be further from the truth.
    Trying to provoke me into saying something that a fellow mod can pop in and ban me for James?
    Havn't you? Sure? How about..." A man asks, “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?” God responded, ”So you would love her.” The man asks, “But God, why did you make her so dumb?” God replied, “So she would love you.”
    And you have never heard me referring to myself as an old fart, or old bastard? or tell jokes at the expense of men? Reminds me of q-reeus again!

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    That's not true James? Perhaps you need to calm down a bit and check out the jokes thread, where you will probably see both genders as targets. But you won't will you?
    No holes to dig James, and yes some funny banter on both sides and great service...is that troubling for you James? or are you simply doing what supports your questionable agenda.
    We had a great time as I said, and the two girls really loked after us, so much so, I e-Mailed the CEO the next day and complimented them with the highest praise.
    Check it out..I'm also a life member there and fairly well known. If you prefer the truth over unsupported innuendo and fabricated myth.

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    Wow James, take a disprin and have a good lay down and try to honestly assesS whatever I have told you with some honesty, OK?
    Frigid? Have I ever used that word James?
    A pinch on the bum? Wrong way round James...it was me that got a slap on the bum from a beautiful blonde many years ago. Got it?

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    And yes, as a young hairy arse man, I enjoyed it.

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    Perhaps I should also have reported the Ambulance staff that treated the Mrs when they called her darling, and me Love. You have failed to comment on that James.
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2020
  12. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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    The title of the thread is of course an attempt by James to create an impression that casual everyday banter with strangers generally is a form of sexism, according to his standards and bias.

    That is obviously false as I have shown with many examples that this casual banter goes on everyday between different genders and those of the same gender. Bank staff, shop assistants, charity workers, [donated $5 today to RLSA and was addressed with thanks very much sweety!
    I have nothing to be ashamed of, although I cannot speak for James with the standard of false insulting claims he has made against my person.
     
  13. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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  14. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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    My contribution yesterday in jokes

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    According to the Office for National Statistics in your country 190,374 people are having sex right now...212,130 Are kissing...and one poor ole person Is reading posts on a science forum.

    You hang in there sunshine!

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  15. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    paddoboy:

    You know, we can stop this round of "more examples of paddoboy's sexism" any time you like. All you have to do is stop responding.

    I made a valid one-line comment on a sexist remark you made in a different thread. You decided to make a song and dance, once again going out of your way to make excuses for the inexcusable.

    You know how this has gone for you in the past. You can continue digging that hole if you want to, or you could make the wiser choice to just stop here. Given your tendency to take a bull-at-a-gate approach when challenged, I don't expect you'll stop, but don't say I didn't warn you if this doesn't end well for you, once again.

    I haven't been around here much for the past few months. In that time I see you have been targeting various people with your usual scientism crusade. Not necessarily bad thing in itself, but I also see you've also been getting away with trading insults back and forth and generally engaging in time-wasting one-upmanship with some people who really don't deserve your continual attention. There are rumblings from other moderators as to whether it wouldn't be easier for us just to bid you farewell. At the least, it would reduce the workload in fielding all the complaints about you. Anyway, I say this just to put you on notice that the moderators might not be inclined to give you a third chance if, at some point, you decide to fly off the handle again. So choose carefully.

    Two wrongs don't make a right. Other people's poor behaviour doesn't excuse yours.

    As you know, I have never fabricated anything in order to attack your for sexism. I have only ever quoted your own words and commented on what you have written.

    How many times have you said to a woman "Ah, you women! You can never make up your minds!" and then she has said back to you "Oh, you funny man, paddoboy! What you say is exactly true. I'm hopelessly unable to make up my mind about anything! I'm just a bit of a ditzy fool. I'm so lucky I have men like you around to help me do my thinking. I'd be incapable of ever making a decision on my own."

    How many times have you called a man "love"? Never? If not, why not? Why is it okay for you to address women as "love" but not men?

    Self-deprecating comments are your own prerogative. We're discussing appropriate behavior when referring to other people here, paddoboy.

    Do you care if a woman doesn't find your "jokes" amusing? I guess you'd advise her to lighten up and get a proper sense of humour.

    The problem here is that, once again, I'm only hearing your side of the story. The "two girls" who "really looked after us" aren't here to give their version of the story. Who knows what their perceptions might have been?

    Do you realise that they were doing their jobs in being polite to you? Do you realise that if they weren't polite to you, they might lose their jobs? Can you see any problem with a power imbalance there?

    I have no idea whether you have ever used that word. I was merely showing you an example of the sort of everyday sexism you might have seen. I wonder whether you think there's anything problematic in that sort of exchange.

    We already discussed your proud bum-slap behaviour in the other thread (linked above).

    Your many emojis here just confirm that you still don't have a clue about what might be wrong with your habitual behaviours in regards to women. To you, apparently, it's all a bit of harmless fun.

    That would have been a shitty thing to do in the circumstances, I would imagine.

    Do you understand that by the time it gets to the stage where somebody is justified in filing a report, things have usually long gone past the point where the behaviour in question should have stopped?

    Most women put up with everyday sexism from men, for all kinds of reasons. If they filed formal complaints every time a man like you made an inappropriate comment or used an overly familiar form of address, they'd spend their whole lives litigating small claims. It's just not worth the time and effort. It's far easier just to avoid those men as much as possible. Unfortunately, that also means those men get away with things when they really need to be taught how to act like decent human beings.
     
  16. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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    Funny that..it's what q-reeus wanted me to do also.

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    Not true...You made a false remark according to your own silly bias and so called standards.
    Are you threatening to ban me James because of the insults you have thrown my way?
    You mean yourself and Bells? And with regards to flying off the handle, its you scraping the bottom of the barrel and unjustly accusing me of sexism when you know SFA about it, other then what I have told you.
    Wow! a cop out if there ever was one. The adds on TV are generally a reflection of reasonable behaviour along with humour if you are able to recognise it.

    Frigid...never used it ever!
    A few times actually and every time it has been taken in good humour.
    Are you serious? Why would I address a man as Love? Why would I address a women as matey?

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  17. DaveC426913 Valued Senior Member

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    I feel the need to weigh-in here. Sorry Pad, those are my standards too.

    As so many have done in the late 20th century and 21st century, I've gone through the chrysalis phase myself. When I emerged, I saw sexism deeply ingrained in society (and the rape culture that it fertilizes). It's so pervasive that many, many people equate 'pervasive' with 'harmless'. It's not.

    Above, you say "everyday banter with strangers" - that is a strawman. It isn't what spawned this thread. What spawned this thread is "Must be a female Alien...can't make up her bloody mind!". That's a slap at all females, unilaterally - based on their gender alone. And that's the definition of sexism.

    "Lighten up" and "can't you take a joke" are catch phrases of people who don't want to give up their privilege of sexist micro-aggression.

    Nobody can or will make anyone change, Pad, but that doesn't mean such outdated behaviour won't be called out when it arises.
     
  18. origin Heading towards oblivion Valued Senior Member

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    Paddoboy's stupid misogyny is one of the many reasons I have on ignore.
     
  19. Thus Spoke Registered Senior Member

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    Are women more indecisive than men?
     
  20. foghorn Valued Senior Member

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    And so,
    Strawman
    http://www.skepdic.com/strawman.html

    Both women and men can misrepresent or distort intentionally or accidentally.
     
  21. DaveC426913 Valued Senior Member

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    Sorry, maybe you could elaborate. I know what a strawman is, else I wouldn't have invoked it. I'm not sure if you're agreeing or disagreeing with my assignation.
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2020
  22. sculptor Valued Senior Member

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    As a high school teen, I had a job working for an electrician(nights and weekends).
    The foreman habitually referred to his wife as "the old ball and chain".
    Was that misogynistic?
     
  23. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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    That's OK Dave. But my point stands that the casual banter between people generally, is not in any way shape or form sexist, in the true meaning of the word.
    I probably agree that sexism is still somewhat ingrained in certain aspects of society, and actually probably ironically, more among the younger generation then my generation.
    And of course while by a good majority women are the victims of such sexism, it also goes both ways.
    We in Sydney have had two separate cases of first grade NRL players being tried for rape. Both juries in both cases have been now dismissed for not being able to reach a verdict, with two retrials now being processed. I havn't a clue who is right or who is wrong, or whether both players are actually guilty, or whether there is doubt as far as consent goes, and neither does anyone else...other then the two players, and the women involved.

    In saying all that I can again vouch that in no way am I sexist as James is trying to paint me and the depths he has sunk to in attempting that. I'm an old bastard but still pretty fit for my age, and recently on a bus trip into the city, for one of my reunions, a middle aged women got on the bus which was full, and I stood up and offered her my seat, despite young people around me of both genders not being too concerned. The woman was staggered by this and motioned me to sit down again, which I refused until she took the seat. We had a limited conversation in which she expressed pleasant surprise that such courtesy still existed.
    I love Irish jokes, mainly from my best mate, yes he's Irish Aussie and tells them whenever we get together.
    I also had another mate who has since passed away, who was diagnosed with bone cancer and had lost his hair due to chemotherapy. Irrespective he attended one of our reunions when another of us pulled out a scurvy old red wig for him. he laughed his arse off and put the wig on, wearing it for the rest of the night. He was also off the piss due to liver problems 10 years earlier, and finally was given 2 months to live. First thing he did was down to the local for a few beers and breaking his 10 year abstinence. He was dead in 7 weeks.
    Why am I telling you all this? Besides being all relevant in that we should all be able to laugh at ourselves, you are certainly one of the members who does maintain a position of decency and decorum, unlike others including mods and someone I do respect.
    In fact if I had any inkling James would listen to me, I would suggest you should be a mod because of the general decorum you display.

    I would change if I were to be convinced Dave. I'm not convinced though. To use an analogy, its like banning all motor vehicles because a few hoons display recklessness and the accidents they can and do cause.
     

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