The Most Offensive Jokes Ever!!!

Got one of me own now---

What's brown and half-eaten?

The Pope's easter egg.

Charmed...

 

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Here's another, now were back and running again...:

Man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm.

His wife is lying in bed reading.

Man says,"This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache"

Wife replies, "I think you'll find that is a sheep."

Man replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."

 

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I have an offensive one:
what’s the hardest part about killing a baby?
suppressing the boner.

 

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what do prince charles and the pope have in common, they were both stiff and in an old box on his wedding night.

 

Cato, I have a slight revision of your joke.

What's the hardest part about killing a baby?
My penis.

 

yeah, that make it offensive AND a play on words =]

 

That's not a joke cato. what you just wrote.


How do you get a cat down out of a tree?

With a shotgun.

 

What breaks when you give it to a 6-year-old?







Her Pelvis

 

Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?







So she can moan with the other.

 

Why do women have 2 holes so close together?




Better to carry em home like a six pack

 

Here's one:

Quick! Turn on the radio-- all the Muslims have dropped dead around the world!

Carlsberg don't do forum posts but if they did, they'd probably be the best in the world.

 

by far this is the forum site ever
thanks to your jokes, i have been lynched out of college 3 times, my own home twice and a whoping 6 times at church

ok my jokes
i did write these myself

Why did the little girl cry
Because i shot her puppy

Why did martin luther king jr die?
because some dreams do come true

What should you do if jesus comes back
Kill him again

Whats funnier than a black disabled boy
Watching him die

What do you do if you kill a child
videotape it decay

Whats the most difficult thing about kiling a baby girl
getting your fist out of her after

what can you give a little girl to eat to fill her up?
her twin sister

whats the hardest part of sitting next to a girl with cancer
resisting the urge to masterbate on her face

whats worse than raping a little boy
forcing the parents to watch

what do you say to the parents of holly and jessica?
gutted

why did the the little boy drop his lollypop
because he got hit by a truck

why did the little girl let go of her balloon
because she was being raped

whats blue and pink and dont make a noise
a baby with an elastic band around its neck

what can you find on the floor of a nightclub
dead eplelpics

whats black and white and looks like a horse
a zebra

 

Q Why is it so hard for a woman to take a piss in the morning.........
A Have you Ever tryed to pull apart a melted cheese grated sandwich

 

Black people ARE the missing link

 

whats the best thing about dreams?

i can't get away with rape in reality

i wonder what hell is like

 

Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Belgium?

A: God couldn't find three wise men in Belgium.

 

Q: How do you tell if a girl is old enough to marry?

A: Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top, she's old enough. If it isn't, cut the barrel down a bit.

 

Q. Why don't women have any brains?

A. Because they don't have penises to keep them in.

 

Q: What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

A: "See you next month!"

 

i-hate-you: Fucking genius stuff man! Did you really come up with those fuckers on your own?
Cool!

Anyhoo, here's one I got over the SMS...

Warning to all UK citizens: there is a new type of key coming over from Europe and Africa. It can get into any house, shop or car so be alert.
It's called a dar-key.

Hmm...