The Most Offensive Jokes Ever!!!

Haven’t got though them all yet so don’t know if its fresh but here goes.

what’s red sticky and crawls up a woman’s leg?



a homesick abortion.

 

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An ugly man walks into his local bar with a big grin on his face.

"What are you so happy about?" Asks the barman.

"Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know, I live by the railway. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the movies. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!"

"Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky guy. Was she pretty?"







"Dunno...Never found her head"..

 

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abstinance makes the church grow fondlers

 

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What did God say when he created the first Aboriginal?

A: Oh Shit! I burnt it!

 

How do you get a baby into a jar?

Use a blender.

How do you get a dead baby out of a jar?

Doritos.

How do you stop little children from playing in your yard?

Molest them.

 

Hey, I resemble that remark! And I just want y'all to know that I'm at the office, and in the course of an hour, I have spewed soda on my monitor, spewed it on the keyboard, spewed it on the floor via my nose trying NOT to spew it, and laughed out loud (spewing in the process) in an office where I'm supposed to be working, not laughing till my sides hurt. I have shared most all these jokes with my friends, who now have proof that I'm one fucking sick individual.

Kelly Sue

 

Q) What's a Jewish Dilema?

A) Free Ham

 

New Orleans huh?.....

See, it proves Americans AREN'T stupid morons-- they build a city 15 feet below sea level then fill it with niggers...

Charmed...

 

what's hairy and bounces up and down in a baby's crib?
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A pedophile's ass


thank you, thank you,
see you all in hell

 

That is too damn funny.

 

This is the worst joke i have ever heard in my whole entite life
but i'll say it anyway

what the difference between Et and asians?

Et got the point and went home

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isn't that just wrong?

 

1960's popular beat combo The Animals have issued a public apology:
Apparantly, there ISN'T a house in New Orleans...

Charmed.

 

I went to a Muslim birthday party last night.
Fuck me if that wasn't the fastest game of Pass The Parcel I've ever seen!

Charmed...

 

News just in:
2 planeloads of volunteers have just left Liverpool airport bound for New Orleans to assist with the looting.

Charmed...

 

jackmoong

 

um?

 

(England has just won The Ashes-- sort of like the Superbowl/World Series of cricket. It's a big deal to loads of English hooray-henry types. Personally, I couldn't give a flying turd about it but...)

Who was the last person to fuck an Aussie and bring home the ashes?

A-- Paula Yates.

Charmed...

 

Q) How many babies does it take to paint a room?

A) Depends How Hard You Throw Them

 

What's funnier than a dead baby?

A Dead baby in a clown costume


How do you get 100 dead babies into a bowl?

Blender


How do you get 100 dead babies on of a bowl?

Doritos

 

The Police were searching neverland after a new set of allegations against jacko

First they went into the living room and found class C drugs
Then they went into the kitchen and found class B drugs
Then they went into the Bathroom and found class A drugs
Then they went into the Bedroom and found class 1C