Can't type as my eyes are watering... What do you call a Paki Lesbian? Minjita Abdul's wife dies and he wants to put an obituary in the paper. He phones them and finds out its £1 for three words. He's only got a pound so he says 'Just say "Minjita is Dead."' The people at the paper take pity on him and say he can have another three words for free, so he says ' Okay put "Minjita is dead...shop still open!"' A Friends of the Earth activist is concerned that her boyfriend doesn't share her passion for the world, the environment and nature. "Don't be fucking daft!" he says, "Everything I see reminds me of nature." "Like what?" she asks. "Well...your pussy reminds me of a gutted trout and your mums looks like a hippo yawning!"