crazyfreespirit said:
I have to admit, but for the most part, I agree with Baron Max. I had no one to help me through when I was bullied. I didn't even have a sanctuary where I could go to be alone. For about four years I struggled utterly alone. And then it just clicked...a sort of slow mo click, but it did. And I started to change. Looking back, I hate to think of those days, but I would never ask for them not to have happened, because I am a much stronger, better person now, above the petty "game of social life". I can now handle any bullying should it come.
I have very little left with which to handle any bullying. I would ask for the bullying not to have occurred because I am not stronger for it, I am weaker.
One mistake that I have made, when faced with workplace bullying, is not to pound the bastard with everything I had. Even though I would get in trouble and go to jail, the system still works in a way that if I do not actually violently deal with bullies they will see it as a sign of weakness, take advantage of me, take away my life, my job, and what I love, and make me wish that I was dead. They've got these things that they do that eventually end up in the destruction of a lot of this world. What they have is not strength. It's a disease. When they attack people who have not harmed them, when they gang up on them, when they conspire to take away his life, they are behaving as criminals. There are even numerous people on this forum who intentionally try to hurt people badly for the offense of mentioning that these things are done to people. Anyone who says that I "whine like a bitch" is a sicko, one of the worst kinds of human trash. Whoever says stuff like that is being a bully, is trying to deceive people about bullying, is deliberately hurting someone because that someone has been hurt and he sees someone who he can hurt.
What kind of humanoids cannot let a man simply live his life? I have said it before, that my own mother has been deeply involved in this. She's had her own "bash Metakron" program going since before most of the world knew that I existed. Rather than being supportive of me in school after a token effort at resistance against the system, she decided that my failures just confirmed her suspicions that I was some kind of retard, that something was wrong with me. This gave her license to tear me down whenever she got a chance. What kind of person takes advantage of such license? This kind of thing is a lot worse than Andrea Yates because a bad mother can make you experience a painful death more than once each and every day. And then she did what she could to force me to accept domination over my life by people who I do not to this day consider to be in any way acceptable as human. Their actions have been horribly destructive to me and others. They were deliberately criminal in their actions, deliberately horrible well past anything that would be acceptable as strengthening, and they were unworthy of life because they took it and deliberately used it to savagely inflict pain against anyone and anything they could.
I mean, she tells me that she fought for me when I went to school and had problems. This seems to have caused her a lot of stress that she had no problem with bringing home and taking out on me. Yes, it's noble that she tried to get them to treat me like a human. The trouble is, when she lost, she became the worst one of them, their own agent in my home. She had already been like that when I was much younger, actually beating me with her fists when she was in a fit of rage, first setting me up so she could excuse hitting me, then continuing to hit me for screaming and screaming at me to shut up or she would keep hitting me. Of course it's impossible for a 2 year old child to stop screaming and crying when the pain and fear are upon them. That kind of thing can go on for more than an hour at a time, until the child is too exhausted to scream, and the parent doing this can feed on life force for that time. It's far more effective for extracting life from a child than is forcible sodomy. There are even accepted ways to convince the child that this was the right thing to do to him. This goes right along with the fact that for this dysfunctional mother, real nurturing and support are crimes. She's not supposed to be there for me, I'm supposed to be there for her.
The abuse created a fearful side to my personality that can easily take me over. What does anyone think is going to happen? Using intense pain different people have installed a set of responses in me. By systematic abuse they have attempted to make me approve of this "great" society and the way it does things. They have even taunted me for my helplessness, as you see people doing here, and at the same time they take advantage of it they curse at me and spit on me for it. And these "people" will happily lie, cheat, steal, torture and kill animals, and use every bit of righteousness and decency as ways to get a hold on people to tear their hearts out. Good, decent, intelligent people are at a huge disadvantage and it's even worse if we let them have anything. One conclusion that seems almost inevitable is that not enough humans have been killed. Then we decide that someone needs to be killed, and we don't know who, and we can't go around killing people in our own community so we get together and target others who are outsiders in some way or the other. It's either kill the outsiders or ourselves. We also separate our healing abilities from ourselves by assigning them to an unreachable God and a Savior who got away from this damned planet but whose ineffectual memories haunt us.
We have got ourselves ass-backwards to reality. The smaller a threat is the worse its potential as a threat. We don't even see the things that are killing millions of people a year. Instead we pick at nits that are of no consequence and blow them up giant-size, and act as if they are the next things that are going to kill us all. The kind of mind that sees a threat in one death per 100 million population and cannot see a threat in the much greater number of deaths by cardiopulmonary disease is the kind of mind that sees a small child as a threat big enough to beat him until he feels himself dying, over and over again for years and years. The real threat to this kind of mind is not the possibility of death. It welcomes death and wants to see a lot of it, all kinds of deaths, human and animals. It is life that is the biggest threat. Even when the person who is sick this way realizes that it is wrong to treat living things this badly, he or she always has to have this "control", even keeping the power to kill if need be to maintain "control." What was the reason for all of the mistreatment of black people after the end of slavery? It is no coincidence that this continued until the third generation after all slavery was abolished. It is to prevent just reprisals against the perpetrators.
They know that if they give up control while someone lives who has a reason to do the same things to them, they are dogmeat. That is, they don't want done to them what they did unto others. Once again, they will lie, cheat, steal, murder, and damage the fabric of reality to keep justice from coming for them. They would blow up the sun if they could to avoid this. This once again puts truly decent living beings at a huge tactical disadvantage. Some refuse to believe that they will use the suicide/geocide/omnicide option because it is so much harder to keep your sanity when you realize that someone might wipe everything away at a whim, destroying in seconds what it took a lifetime for you to build. Some try to prevent us from discussing it because we might do something about it. It's funny to watch because at the same time they deny it, they say or do something to let you know that you are absolutely right. They will destroy themselves and take you with them if you do not give them what they want, and if you won't be their bitch.