Gimme a punchline

scifes said:
here's a better one, (i hope!), an idiot is moving out to the north pole, he ships his stuff in a plane and takes off, at eleven thousand feet the right engine goes off, the pilot says they need to throw some stuff off so the plane doesn't crash, what should the guy throw?
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Not heard this. But how about the right engine?
 
scifes said:
here's a better one, (i hope!), an idiot is moving out to the north pole, he ships his stuff in a plane and takes off, at eleven thousand feet the right engine goes off, the pilot says they need to throw some stuff off so the plane doesn't crash, what should the guy throw?
Click to expand...

He should throw out the snakes in the mo'fuckin plane!
 
Spud Emperor said:
Scifes, glad you're enjoying the thread.
I know you've missed a couple so I'll try to give you a quick insight. Kremmen is an idiot, well he's not, he's a confirmed genius, but he's a bit of a dick, he's English it's his birthright, me I'm from somewhere far less sophisticated and am also bent by nature of geography.
Every answer so far has some comedic merit, even if only in the mind of the author.

Anyway to 'get' the answers try to look from a left field perspective. For example, a mountain guide,..think mountin' guide, you know mounting - to fornicate. Therefore Daddy's incestuous question of his daughter.
Wouldn't that be incest?....break it down, In Cest? Hence,..no dear in the Alps.
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lol man that's more complicated than trying to find the killer halfway through an Agathe Christie novel.. i can hardly follow how the joke went, to actually make one that complex..
scifes said:
an idiot is moving out to the north pole, he ships his stuff in a plane and takes off, at eleven thousand feet the right engine goes off, the pilot says they need to throw some stuff off so the plane doesn't crash, what should the guy throw?
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well he should throw off the fridge, cuz it has a giraffe in it:D

hope that wasn't too unrelated
lol ok another one;

an italian got married on a sunday, at the first day of his marriage, his wife lost her ring in their villa's swimming pool, when he went to get it, he died, why?
 
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No water in Pool.
Cracked his skull.


What do you call the person who helps your uncle to solve crimes?
 
Captain Kremmen said:
No water in Pool.
Cracked his skull.
Click to expand...

an italian got married on a sunday, at the first day of his marriage, his wife lost her ring in their villa's swimming pool, when he went to get it, he died, why?
Click to expand...
cuz the fridge fell on him:p

What do you call the person who helps your uncle to solve crimes?
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ok, let me give it a try...
hmm..:scratchin:...

uncl-uless?:D
lol
 
No, but I think you are beginning to get to grips with this.:)
Spud will get the answer.

Happy St Patricks day everyone!

Big Clue. Your uncle's wife is always peeping through her curtains to spot wrongdoers.
 
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Mind you the young amateur sleuth was quite feared.

in a voice of pure gangster gravel - "O.K Malone has had de East side long enough, If he he doesn't comply to de new demands, we're gonna bring him to HIS niece!!"
 
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I'll give you until tomorrow.
I've put a big clue on post #108.

Before you look at that though, a crossword clue.
**G*****E
 
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Vegetable? shit, I shoulda guessed :bugeye: ?

What do you call T.E Lawrence with a speech impediment whilst he's performing cunnilingus?
 
Vigilante,
very good. I couldn't see it for the life of me. I should have cos
I call my own Aunty the antichrist.


And yes, Lawlence of Alabia, finally we're on the same page
and everyone else has buggered off.
 
That would have made a good riddle spud.
Which Antichrist thinks it's not the end of the world?

Answer. Spud's Aunty, when he's upset because he couldn't solve a riddle.

images

The AuntieChrist
"It's not the end of the world, Spud.
You sit yourself down nice and comfy, and I'll go and make you a sandwich"
 
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