Everyday sexism

The irony here is that paddoboy's flirtatious and bordering harassing behavior of women at his local shops, isn't mentioned in James' OP. James brought up a sexist joke that paddoboy posted elsewhere on the forum. We could all laugh it off, but I think the point of this thread is to show that everyday sexism isn't always blatant, and often comes across as 'innocent' flirtations and jokes. At women's expense. And if we don't laugh it off, we're thought of as bitches...or stirring a pot...or too sensitive. I have been treated kindly by paddoboy one on one here, but I think he doesn't see the depth of his ''everyday banter,'' and how his refusal to examine it may look to outsiders on a forum.

Wegs, that's probably because it wasn't paddoboy.
My wife didn't call you Love. She called a shop assistant love, and as far as upbringing goes, she would absolutely play you off a break.
The only part of your reply that was on point was the part where you said "In the greater community it is still normal..it lays with older folk who wont change".

Yes. Perhaps you could justify why it is ok to demand an old lady or an old man change their ways that are clearly not intended to offend... I find July very offensive but I expect I would be told..what can you do...I expect it may be annoying for some, I know that ..it's not like it has not been mentioned by folk...there are many things that are annoying but clearly this is more about taking Paddo to task rather than facing up to a realistic assessment of the situation...and think about this..exchemist points out what I point out and your response is entirely different...why is that..I pointed out the common place usage and often area relationship as did he and yet two different responses..why was that? No doubt trying to bring folk to your side..high numbers wont exclude the need for evidence...

To me, it seems like something you're willing to put up with, without ever saying a word against it. It's actually worse than that, because you're here not only condoning it, but actually trying to defend it

I am firstly trying to get you to see reason and realise that it is a matter that can only be addressed subjectively and certainly not objectively ..we have a situation where it has dropped to mob mentality and a kangaroo court trial....to the point where folk say to Paddo ..don't tell us what happened ..we know..our invented reality has scripted it..you have ofended these people..you do not know..do you not get that..you do not know...you have no evidence for your claim so stop acting as if you hold the high moral ground..you don't because you abandon fairness and have no testimony or witnesses...you can't do that.

It does not matter how you feel... there is a line you just can not cross..now if you had real evidence to support anything that you are saying I would be onside..because you would have established your case..but as much as you dislike Paddo the fact is he is inoccent until proven guilty and you have not proved him guilty..if you have then show me..show me the evidence that his lubrication term was as you say..show me or drop it....you have no evidence..your attempt to use the expression " lubricating" just shows how bent you are..again it's a case that you have absolutely no evidence of what you claim..none..zip..and then you say..well cant you write into the use of that word something dirty so I win..well I say you have no evidence and your claimed ability to mind read will not cut it.

Teach me, Alex. Teach me how to properly use the word "lubricate" in reference to young women serving beers to men in pubs. Please teach me the non-perverted way I should use that word. Please explain the situations in which the word is appropriate to use.

Stop being cute..you have no evidence to support your claim and pushing your cart sideways will not create evidence....if you dont like the word because in your mind "You see things" dont use it..but dont tell others their use is bound to your imagination...it is a common term..as I said..talking about a party recently the term was used and it was just as inoffensive as when Paddo used it further no females at all.....you cant proclaim yourself the thought police no matter how wonderful you think your reality finds you.
Why is that wolf whistling a problem?

Dont be cute.
I don't need to explain what is obvious to play you games.

Is age an excuse, then? Or not?

It must depend on context if you think it through..each case will be different..some are sharp at 90 some are lost at 65..I know in your reality there is no room for anything but a totalitarian approach..it is a pity you can't do something to fix that.

Is there a difference between that and calling a strange woman "luv"? If the woman finds both behaviours unwelcome, does that difference matter?
And now you find some necessity to consider that each situation may be different..I think we can all create a similar version of Utopia but jumping on old folk like you demand is simply wrong due to is lack of relationship to a "real" reality as opposed to the one you invent for your band wagon.
Why would you be pointing out something to paddo that you have no problem with, in regards to women? You've been saying all along that being called "luv" is "normal" and unremarkable - certainly nothing anybody would be justified in complaining about. Why would you need to point something out to paddoboy?

Do not seek to twist my words..You already know my opinion and trying on this ploy is miserable...to be clear.. again..you can't back up your allegations with evidence when you can there will be no arguement but while you insist on trying every move you can, you only fail to address the fact you have nothing but your invented reality.
That's wrong on many counts, I'm afraid, Alex

No it is a reasonable statement and nothing wrong about it unless you have evidence that shows different.

I see. You won't change, and you won't advocate for change, until the Catholic Church and "Hollywood" change. Seems like an excuse to me

Well James you go after old folk in the shopping center and jail them for friendly common talk and I will continue to point out flaws with religion that perpetually show the church regard women are inferior... you are the one making excuses because I have cornered you..pointing out the flaws..no evidence..no testimony..no adjustment so as to consider each case on its specific circumstances...you remind me of the ugly sisters in the story trying to fit into a shoe that will never fit...happily your creation not mine..for goodness sake man get a grip on reality...who will you hang first..the old dears who call shop assistants luv? Will calling someone darling draw a higher penalty...oh and will there be a distinction taki g into account men or women...I expect not as that would be clearly sexist.. joking of course I dont want to add to your totalitarian management rules.

. We haven't sorted the "luv" issue or the "lubricate" issue, yet.

Agreed..present your evidence and let the trial begin.
For starters, the women who are forced to serve him in the supermarket, at the bank, and at his club, are likely to be just a little happier, and that has to be a good thing. A change in his behaviour would likely affect the experience of many women. How could it not?

Well you see the problem really is that you have not established anything you claim.
I have never claimed it is offensive to all women, all of the time. What I have suggested is that, in general, it is not a form of address that ought to be generally accepted, because large numbers of women find it offensive and sexist. Since there's no way to tell in advance whether a stranger you have just met is among those women who find it offensive or among those who love it to bits and think men who do it are adorable, what's the best policy to apply? To use it, or not to use it? You tell me, Alex.

paddoboy thinks that if they don't like it, women just need to suck it up anyway, because it's "normal". How about you?

I don't have the wisdom to make a call without information.

I watched the first few minutes of it, then I skipped through and watched some other random bits of it, to get a feel for the entire thing without having to dedicate an entire hour of my time to it.

This is very much in line with an approach of " I don't need to know more than I have decided to limit myself to...you are like these Christians.. you go to discuss religion with them only to find they haven't read the book or have studied the history leading up to the bible or the many human gods and the roll astrology played...they have a vague belief with nothing but faith..a belief without evidence...mmm that's what you use for Paddo isn't it?

I can't take you seriously if you seek to comment upon something you have not watched...it indicates you did not start with an open mind and clearly you finished the same way.

I think that you'd rather believe that paddoboy was bullied out of this forum,

That is not what I think at all.. I expect he thought about my words that I am leaving to use my time more productively...like play my guitar as I have said. He probably thought similar..he has more in his life than this place.

Although folk will try and bully him I am confident he is not put out..he loves fighting back in my view.. maybe he became frustrated that you sort to hang him without evidence but that is unlikely..I think he probably realised life is too short to waste it here.

However there is no point in speculating as only Paddo knows...and again why don't you just give your mind reading a rest.

I also think that you're looking for reasons why his sexist opinions ought not to be condemned, and that you like the "slippery slope" idea that if we start addressing sexism of the paddoboy kind then the next step will be people up against walls and blanket censorship of all media.

You have a very active imagination.

The video plays on your fears of persecution and tries to make its targets the bugbears of the lie it is spinning.

Mind reading again?

What I think is a valid point in the video and it is undeniable when applied to any human really is that each person creates their our reality..which is really beliefs they form..it seems some have a picture that the " luv" problem is outta control some not so much...different realities....and clearly as each person tries to make their case they start to believe more and more that the picture they see is the correct one..you have this obsession with " lubricate" and sadly it is not the way you imagine it but the more the reality is pointed out the tighter you hold onto your belief that it is the way you see it...

Me as much as possible I try to stand back and take in what is going on that I can support with firm evidence and things outside of that I make no judgement upon.

Now with the video the message I took from it was simply a reminder of the obvious that folk do manufacture their reality..now you can think otherwise that is up to you.
However it seems the factors that are overlooked very quickly in this discussion is..context and malice..both ignored as irrelevant when they really are the first things to consider...I like to keep both context and malice in my reality.

Oh look it has a definition



apply a substance such as oil or grease to (an engine or component) to minimize friction and allow smooth movement.
"remove the nut and lubricate the thread"


make slippery
make smooth
smear with oil
cover with oil
rub with oil
make (a process) run smoothly.

"the availability of credit lubricated the channels of trade"


make smooth
smooth the way for
oil the wheels for
pave the way for


make (someone) convivial with alcohol.

"men lubricated with alcohol speak their true feelings"

Definitions from Oxford Languages

I wonder if the people serving alcohol knew the INFORMAL version???


make (someone) convivial with alcohol.

"men lubricated with alcohol speak their true feelings"

Definitions from Oxford Languages

I wonder if the people serving alcohol knew the INFORMAL version???

This mob are so happy to alter word meanings to suit their game...look at the deal behind cluelesshusbum with his "clever" farewell...some fool has seized on a scene in a movie to give a new "lefty" meaning to a perfectly nice word..one that he has been tricked into using and is happy to use as it extends him that elitism that mob craves....not the left I knew and loved...now it is intent on bit by bit destruction of anything that hints at happiness...and what these folk miss is the very terrible message in that movie scene ..the one cluelesshusbum thinks is as clever as "Karen"... these folk are so easily manipulated ...and they have no idea.

Notice they don't try and front the real issues..can't front the church..can't front Hollywood...can only dance to their tribal drum.

Fancy taking your philosophy from some second rate movie like clueless has done and not realising you fell for a marketing push...marketing??? What do you mean?...don't worry sheep don't need to know about shearing. They are so clever cause their handlers feed them elitism ..front is.

Feeling very manly today..up at four..only half an hour exercise of my legs and to get them to work..I know boasting again..but heck if I had not worked so hard I would not be here...

Are you back, well or not?

You know I am getting really worked up over "July" I just find it so offensive...why Julius Ceasar was painted as some sort of hero gets me..oh hang on..his history was put together from his personally written journal...still we have a fine account of all the villages he trashed, killing everyone who could not be sold as slaves...and he did not seen too concerned that Rome had treaties with some of these folk...a great man so fitting that we name a month after him...I have a list of things like this and I am putting "dont call me luv" on it..at the bottom so I will get to it when the more important issues have been taken care of....

All these folk trying to create a better world...if only they could see how evil powers use their decency to employ them as a mindless mob to assist their political game...anyways I don't care I am leaving the planet well before anyone else...lubricate myself away.

And what do you make of DMOE? I can talk about him now that he is gone...loops in fires off some shots, does not read the thread as evidenced by him not seeing the quotes that stand out like dogs balls..won't name names..only pretends to be friendly it seems so he can can expose the under belly and stab where he thinks it will do the most damage...but to me being so manly see it as a mere flea bite..mmm flea..that can be my pet name for him ...anyways it sadly reflects what that poor devil has put up with in life..left him such he cant trust anyone it seems...he is like one of those abused puppies that bark and run off, you throw them a little food and they eat it but then bark and run off...then he will tell you that it is not a case of him not liking you..that has nothing to do with his cowardly sarcasm dont you know...anyways at least I understand him and because I am so fond of him will overlook what others may see as negatives...

OK now rested and cleared my head of nonsense I will get back to work...before it gets any hotter.

Are you back, well or not?

Not back. Reasonable well with broken shoulder waiting on operation when eventually get back

Neither girlfriend Inul and myself have any COVID-19 symptoms, but since neither have been tested no idea of our true status

Basically I remain isolated all day hotel room watching TV and internet chat. Inul shops and cooks our meals at sister's Food Court and brings to hotel

Birthday in 2 days Inul says we will have a few people at a eat out :)

Broken left shoulder 001 2020.jpg
The broken bit is at the top of the long bone - humerus - where the round ball bit on top should be a bit closer to the curved arch above (minor dislocation) and should not have the detached bit (from the round ball bit on top of humerus) on the outside

Hope all posters are keeping safe

Birthday in 2 days

Happy birthday for two days time in case I am not around.

How did you break it?

I can't recall you mentioning it but I have not been here much..last little while sure but my guitar is unplayable ..well I can play it but two strings broke..wrong ones..and it is no fun at all...but I just can't bring myself to go to town even though I need so many things...

But it knocks me up for days and leaves me not feeling manly at all...and if they catch me crook and not walking they want to take me away...going to make some bread today..funny how you crave some things when you run out but not others..I have some honey to get over the craving for sugar.

Anyways I feel rested now so I will go ... taking a break and doing some microscope viewing to see if any Tardigrade have appeared in the moss that has come out due to the long wet.

I can't recall you mentioning it

Kept quiet but thought as you asked a op to tell

Back in August in Pizza Hut at large shopping complex. They had a ridiculous set up to maintain distance made from plastic pipe. Was not fixed to floor. Happen to put foot on base WHICH SLID AWAY. Went down heavy

$170 for BIMB Emergency Department visit, no complaints re service or treatment or cost

Unable to afford $18,000 cost of operation and a one night stay. So back to hotel. 2 days 2 Panadol every 4 hours and 2 nights little sleep. But now since August not need pain relief, shoulder down to dull ache

Inul girlfriend also now Trusted Assistant and trainee nurse carer :). Showing her how I would look after my condition. Quick learner


Cheers to all readers

I wonder if the people serving alcohol knew the sexualised innuendo version.

What do you think?

Only if you share with them your inter most thoughts.

James you are flogging a dead horse just because you make something up to furnish your personal reality does not mean it becomes part of the real world...the sexualized innuendo is yours...take it home and put it away...now if you want to persist offer evidence that your claim is valid... you have now had the opportunity via Micks post to see the common usage is as I told you and yet you still want your claim to be true..come up with some evidence supporting your claim or give it a rest.

Your have just given Saint a ban in effect for not backing up his claim and yet here you go making an unsupported claim over and over and over and dispite my calls for evidence which you ignore you just keep repeating your unsubstantiated claim.

Your preoccupation with making something dirty out of a phrase shows nothing more than you are in effect trying to manufacture evidence...else what would you call your attempt...

Further you absolutely ignore the context that it came up...which is the usual context as also shown in my reference to my discussion with a mate about a party I missed...I mean what does it take to get you to admit you are wrong..just wrong wrong wrong..too proud.? What is it?

I gave you an example consistent with Paddos post, Mick has provided a dictionary account..which did not mention any sexual thing...really what does it take?

Admit that you are wrong or present some evidence..just like the requirement you demanded of Saint.

What we need to see is a dictionary entry in support of your claim..you have seen the entry in support of my claim which means you have lost..get over it.

I wonder if the people serving alcohol knew the sexualised innuendo version.

What do you think?

Really depends

Had they heard in the sexualised innuendo version? If so they would take it the same in the pub

If not and didn't attach ANY meaning to the words they may ask more experienced staff

If it was said as the person raised a empty glass as indicating refill please the staff links gesture and vocalisation (cheerful or lecherous tone) and act's as per their understanding

Staff can (may) treat patrons as individuals depending on familiarity, level of intoxication, tone of voice etc etc

Context is the key

I just rang another mate and asked...if I said I went to Peters party and told you he kept me well lubricated what do you think I meant...
"GOT YOU PISSED"...was the reply...anyways must go I gotta ring him back and explain my question and have a chat...