Stop me if you've heard this one before.
I was at a party, and my friend tells this chick I have a 12 inch dick. "This is Roman, he has a 12 inch dick," sort of thing. So she stumbles up to me, all drunk slut, "so
you're Roman."
"Uh, yeah," and I brush her off. I get the "so
you're Roman," thing a lot, because I'm wildly popular. Then I ignore her because she's stupid. But chicks love it when you ignore them and then are mean to them. Drives them wild. Hope you're taking notes, Absane.
Driven wild by astounding abilities to ignore her, she presses further. "So you have a 12 inch penis." My two friends are cracking up, and the queer she rolled to the part with is all intrested in my young, tight sphincter and, possibly, colossal member. We call the fag Creepy David because he's a 90-lb fag who humps 15 year old 90-lb fags, and gets all up on your balls like he's a fratboy on a drunk chick. Ew.
This was going weird, fast, so I do like I do in any social situation. I start drinking. Well, drinking more, which ended up being my mistake.
"No," I tell her, "it's considerably shorter. 5 inches shorter." She counts on her fingers, then looks at me, impressed. "Eight's still really big."
"Yes, yes it is," and you're a dumb slut.
"So, Roman, why won't you sleep with me?"
"I'm..." don'tsaygaydon'tsaygaydon'tsaygay "don't like girls."
"Oh, you're gay?"
And the fags on me like, well, a fag on firm, fresh ass.
"Nononono, don't get me wrong, I hate fags."
Then it went boring from there. In the hindsight of sobriety, I think my best course of action would have been to tell her I was a virgin, then 'accidently' poked her in her Italian pooper. Oh well
