The Most Offensive Jokes Ever!!!

After their recent split, madonna and guy ritchie are now arguing over custody of the kids...........apparently neither one wants the nigger!

 

Log in or Sign up to hide all adverts.

Q: What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina?
A: Only some of the things that come out of her vagina are retarded.

________________________________________________

Did you hear that McCain wants a recount? Yeah, he says the election was nigger-rigged.

~String

 

Log in or Sign up to hide all adverts.

News just in from America:

Sales of pillow cases and scissors are up 75%.

 

Log in or Sign up to hide all adverts.

I don't get it.

~String

 

I think we're talking about making KKK hoods.

 

Hahahaha.

 

Two Paki's are talking, and one says to the other, "I'm loving this. I've only been in England for a month, and I can speak Polish already."

 

UK and US officials had a meeting over the weekend. They have apparently agreed that if the USA put our queen on their stamps, we will in turn keep their president on our marmalade jars.

 

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

Jesus says "you must be THIS WIDE to get into heaven!!!!"

 

What's the difference between a baby and an old person?

Old people don't die when you screw them up the butt.



What similarities do a baby and an old person have?

They're both fun to throw out of moving vehicles.

 

That was so bad, I think it gave me aids...

 

Barack Obama's gardener has been sacked.

He only went into the oval office to ask where the spade was.

 

What is more fun than sex with a dead baby?

nothing.

 

Why did the woman cross the road?

I don't know either, she's suppost to be in the kitchen.



Why don't women wear watches?

There's a clock on the stove.

 

my shot

Q: If you drop an apple and Obama from a tree which will fall first?
A: The apple, the rope around Obama's neck will stop him

Q: What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
A: Nothing, you already told her twice.

Q: What do you call a barn full of black people?
A: Antique Farm Equipment

Q: How do you know you've been robbed by a Pollock?
A: Your garbage is eaten and your dog is pregnant.

 

Little boy walks in on his parents and sees them having sex,
"what are you doing ?" the boy asks
"making you a brother or sister" his parents reply,
the boy replies "can you do it doggy style? i want a puppy."

 

My money is on Martina Navratilova to win "I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here!".




She's been eating out of the Bush for years.

 

Q:What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can?

A:A dead baby in 10 trash cans.

 

Heres a bad joke, but bad in a retarded way rather than an offensive way.

Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out a tree it could kill you?





A pool table.

 

If you think life is bad...
How would you like to be an egg?
You only get laid once.
It takes 4 minutes to get hard, Only 2 minutes to get soft.
You share your box with 5 other guys.
After 3 minutes in the hot tub you get your head smashed in
and then you get a good poking by a load of soldiers.
But worst of all....
The only chick to sit on your face was your mother!
So cheer up, your life aint that bad!