Newspaper

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A newspaper is an objective source of news (if published by Rupert Murdoch) printed on a low quality paper, although not quite as objective as Fox News. The content of a newspaper sometimes consists out of reports on newsworthy items that occurred the day before in the world.

People complained that newspapers are too expensive and too thick and hence the Metro paper was invented (may have another name at your location). You can read it in 3 minutes on the bus. No article is longer than 12 words. And it is free.

Todays newspapers are tommorrows fish and chip wrapper. However this practice was discontinued when it was found that the articles poison the mind.

Real news often appears at the front, while fake news (otherwise known as "Sport") appears at the back. Occasionally a comic may be present.

References

1. http://www.page3.com/