Being a Gentleman

Growing up as a young boy, I was taught to be a gentleman; you know, 'being a man'. Eating like a civilized person; holding doors open for women (and assisting them in other ways); never lie or cheat or steal. And always show good manners and respect.


More or less, I have followed those customs. Though the sad bit is that it seems many people are growing up without being taught these proper values. If you examine the culture and youth of today, you will find that it idolizes and teaches, above anything else, arrogance and stupidity; drug use; 'sluttiness'; inappropriateness, cursing, violence, and just overall being a punk. Furthermore, people today just don't have a problem being obscene, pirating, stealing, and cheating; neither do people today have a sense of a love for intellectualism and knowledge. At least, that is the way most people seem to be, in my opinion.

Yes, a very brash description but a very accurate one, I think. Of course this doesn't apply to everyone; I do not mean to generalize, but I only point out that the culture has taken a downside.

These virtues are embodied in a code of ethics called Chivalry. Originally, Chivalry was the code of ethics a Knight was supposed to value, though of course that isn't the context we would use it in in this day and age. Instead, especially in the past decades, Chivalry has been defined as gentlemanship - with all the virtues I was talking about.

Today, however, men grow up never being taught manners or gentlemanship.

Am I the only one who has noticed that? Honestly, people: start holding yourself to a higher standard. Be a gentleman yourself, and maybe in the future people will start valuing those virtues once again.

The corruption and idiocy you see today are the products of a culture that no longer values Chivalry. Honestly, as a nation (or a species) we had better get a good sense of values and instruct the next generation if we want at least a half decent society to live in.

 

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I also try to be a gentleman. I am very intolerant towards rudeness and poor manners.

 

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Sad but true. Today it is all about money. There are the Boy scouts that do try however.

 

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I don't think much can be done about it. I do my best to be polite and "chivalrous". I also encourage it in the youth I interact with. I used to be so opposed to people blaming things on music and media, but I do think a lot of the current crappy pop shit you see on MTV is largely responsible.

 

Actually it is the parents that are to blame more than anything else.

 

My son opens the door for me because I stand there and give him 'the look' until he does.
He doesn't open doors for girls his age because they usually beat him to it. Are today's young women raised to wait for a man to open doors and pull out chairs for them?

 

Precisely my opinion.

Though I must stress that, though manners are important to teach, they are not the only things that I am referring to; not just manners, but VIRTUE. Being honest; not stealing; doing the right thing.

People today aren't motivated to do that.

 

I think it's not so much that as girls today don't expect it because the guys of today don't give it.

 

I certainly hope not.. Are you teaching your daughter that?

 

More so than the MTV yes, but the media still plays a large role I think.

 

I agree with you, but remember that the media is controlled by people - and so nonetheless parents are still at blame for not teaching values.

 

kids are allowed to watch TV by their parents, so what they view can be screeded and stopped if the parents really want to control their kids from watching crap that's on the TV.

 

doors and chairs are pretty low on my priority of things to teach her.

For my son, its not a gender thing, its a respect your elders thing. My daughter also holds the door for me. They both hold the door for adult strangers.

 

I grew up with the exact same training and still practice it even though I'm now in my mid-60s. My own children got it and are training THEIR children the same paths.

You can blame other kids, MTV, music in general or whatever you choose. BUT the ultimate responsibility falls directly upon the parents - and the examples they set.

 

MTV??? LMAO, when was the last time you watched TV?

 

Though Chivalry applies only to men, good values are things that all people ought to be taught, male or female.

It's only with 'manners' that your gender applies - generally, men ought to be more protective and treat ladies well.

 

Ah ok.
I think teaching a girl, because she's a girl, to wait for a guy to open the door is well.. kind of pathetic. It seems to be based on backward gender views.

 

Huh? Are you absolutely sure?

What about women? Should they just treat guys like crap?

 

Yes. Women and men both ought to have manners, but those manners differ. That's common sense.

Not at all. It's about mutual respect.

 

Yes, but you said that gender only applies with manners..

Not common sense, it's just what they taught you.