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Stoniphi said:
Yeah, it is just a way to get another discussion going...not that there is anything wrong with that. :eek:

I agree with Enmos and Empty here. My S.I.L. always has the next one lined up before she dumps her current husband. Boyfriends are the same, you may be the next one, for a while, if you want. (note the extensive use of prepositions here)

I would shoot her a quick, disinterested line with an opening and let her decide whether she wishes to pursue it or not.

Oh yeah, and don't hold your breath waiting for a response. ;)
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Alright, so I decided to call her and she wasn't around so I left a message. We'll see what happens :/
 
That's the way to play it. Don't attach to any particular response, just see what happens next, even if that is nothing.
 
Looks like this is over, I left a message but no call back However my psychic advisor told me the girls a user and her intentions with me are just that. She sees men as more of what they can do for her than anything else. I was told to stay away and forget her so that's what I'm gonna do. Told me she's a player too so :( Guess I am still lost and confused
 
darksidZz said:
Looks like this is over, I left a message but no call back However my psychic advisor told me the girls a user and her intentions with me are just that. She sees men as more of what they can do for her than anything else. I was told to stay away and forget her so that's what I'm gonna do. Told me she's a player too so :( Guess I am still lost and confused
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:rolleyes:
 
Told me she's a player
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Dude, I thought that was pretty obvious.
Are you actually saying you would say no to obviously no-strings-attached sex with a reasonably attractive female?

Were I single, I wouldn't toss her out of bed.
(Then again, being a bi person with relatively low standards, were I single there aren't that many people I'd toss out of bed...well, provided they weren't dumb. Had to be said.)

Use protection, and get a checkup after the ride's over.
If she does ever call.
But if not...

Getting lucky isn't that hard...you just have to keep asking and get rejected a lot. It's like sales: there's probably about 12 no's to a yes.
So every no is one less no you have to hear on your way to a yes. Plus, each time you flirt , ask out, ask for a phone#, you're practicing and refining technique.
Just take your ego out of the loop and do it.
 
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I'm not sure what to say, I mean she has a bf right? I am not getting involved in that drama no way. But we'll see.
 
darksidZz said:
Looks like this is over, I left a message but no call back However my psychic advisor told me the girls a user and her intentions with me are just that. She sees men as more of what they can do for her than anything else. I was told to stay away and forget her so that's what I'm gonna do. Told me she's a player too so :( Guess I am still lost and confused
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a psychic???

this is really more of a no-brainer, too much focus on the 'what if's,
as long as she doesn't know where you live you should be fine with a one nighter..

she may call you when she is horny and her bf is fighting with her..(he pry suspects she is a slut)
i have met several couples that the husband is fine with her sleeping around, only takes, to ask, to find out.
she defiantly is not relationship material and doesn't deserve that much of your attention.(just enough to get laid)

which brings up a good question to ask here..

are women today more interested in getting laid than finding a relationship?
i understand one can lead to the other, but the question is of preliminary intent.
 
darksidZz said:
I'm not sure what to say, I mean she has a bf right? I am not getting involved in that drama no way. But we'll see.
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Who gives a F*** about any boyfriend she might have, maybe :rolleyes:

If she does she obviously isn't or wasn't too concerned about losing him when she hit on you.

Next time this happens, let her tell you she has a bf, don't assume anything and just go along like he doesn't exist. Again, obviously it doesn't matter to her and shouldn't to you.

Sometimes a girl will use the bf as an excuse because they don't want anything to do with you, or maybe it's true but their still interested so they want to see what you'll do next. If you continue you might find that they will go out with you on the side, why, because they aren't happy with who their with. So stop worrying about their real or imagined bf's.

I expect you already blew it on this one with the lack of confidence you probably showed. But good luck.
 
NMSquirrel said:
are women today more interested in getting laid than finding a relationship?
i understand one can lead to the other, but the question is of preliminary intent.
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Definitely, they want to be like guys and play the field and experience things, at least until they're older. If that's what two adults want and are both aware of it then fine, it's just a shame so many people take to duping the opposite sex into things and justify it.
 
Anti-Flag said:
Definitely, they want to be like guys and play the field and experience things, at least until they're older. If that's what two adults want and are both aware of it then fine, it's just a shame so many people take to duping the opposite sex into things and justify it.
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i often wonder if marital infidelity wasn't made to be such an destroyer (how much has conditioning influence how we act about it) wouldn't ppl be more up front and honest ?

Bf: wow that chick is Hot,i wouldn't mind doing her.
Gf: I can be fine with that later,right now i am feeling we need to bond/connect more first.
Bf: thinks; WOW i could have my cake AND eat it too..don't screw this up.
(this analogy is rough but i think it communicates the idea)

same works both ways..if you respect your partners feelings all possibilities open up..
 
Yep, I can't have an open marriage..not so much because of me (the happy slutpuppy) but it would hurt my wife and make her feel bad.

We are not going to hurt the wife and make her feel bad, ever, ever, ever, because she is awesomesauce.

So no horizontal hokey-pokey with other people. Totally worth it.
 
"...if you want a lover, I'll do anything you want me to.....

and if you want another kind of lover, I'll wear a mask for you..."

Leonard Cohen

It all depends on whether you want a relationship and a partner or just a quick
phuck.
 
NMSquirrel said:
i often wonder if marital infidelity wasn't made to be such an destroyer (how much has conditioning influence how we act about it) wouldn't ppl be more up front and honest ?

Bf: wow that chick is Hot,i wouldn't mind doing her.
Gf: I can be fine with that later,right now i am feeling we need to bond/connect more first.
Bf: thinks; WOW i could have my cake AND eat it too..don't screw this up.
(this analogy is rough but i think it communicates the idea)

same works both ways..if you respect your partners feelings all possibilities open up..
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Well we're heading towards that kind of world, but it should always be remembered that not everyone else agrees with our personal opinions. If two people can sit down and say "I want an open relationship" and they both agree to the terms of that then why not allow it? Same for polygamy.
However we need to educate people correctly on the subject, as it is also ok to *want* a monogamous and exclusive relationship, and if you commit to that then you should indeed commit to it.
People assume too much without discussion, and that's when people get hurt. Particularly in the case of gender stereotypes.
Of course this all requires a degree of honesty, something sorely lacking these days.
 
Anti-Flag said:
People assume too much without discussion, and that's when people get hurt. Particularly in the case of gender stereotypes.
Of course this all requires a degree of honesty, something sorely lacking these days.
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this is what i am saying..
you will never know how someone thinks/feels until you ask, it is only conjecture on your part till you ask.

i wasn't trying to give some guys a plan to get laid with their wifes permission,it more about being in tune with the one your with, can't get that without communication.
and honesty is CRITICAL , BUT be reasonable about it..(no dear,your butt does not look big in that)
 
NMSquirrel said:
this is what i am saying..
you will never know how someone thinks/feels until you ask, it is only conjecture on your part till you ask.

i wasn't trying to give some guys a plan to get laid with their wifes permission,it more about being in tune with the one your with, can't get that without communication.
and honesty is CRITICAL , BUT be reasonable about it..
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you also have to take in consideration that sometimes honesty hurts worse then not knowing sometimes.
 
christa said:
you also have to take in consideration that sometimes honesty hurts worse then not knowing sometimes.
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better a life of ignorance?
not knowing what is causing problems in ones life?

is it the honesty or the form of that honesty?
can it be said different to be less painful?
 
NMSquirrel said:
this is what i am saying..
you will never know how someone thinks/feels until you ask, it is only conjecture on your part till you ask.
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I agree, I wish more people would ask.

i wasn't trying to give some guys a plan to get laid with their wifes permission,it more about being in tune with the one your with, can't get that without communication.
and honesty is CRITICAL , BUT be reasonable about it..(no dear,your butt does not look big in that)
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Indeed, I don't think a relationship can work if one person wants it open and the other wants exclusive, so it should be discussed. A lot of women are quite happy with open too.
I think honesty should always be used, as the act of lying can be a far larger betrayal then a hurtful truth.

christa said:
you also have to take in consideration that sometimes honesty hurts worse then not knowing sometimes.
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Of course, but that presumes they never find out the truth.
NMSquirrel said:
better a life of ignorance?
not knowing what is causing problems in ones life?

is it the honesty or the form of that honesty?
can it be said different to be less painful?
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It should be tactile and delicate, but should be used. If a girl asks if her ass looks big in a particular dress, you should simply say the dress doesn't suit her. Better that than let her wear it out and have everyone see her fat ass in the dress. Then you have two problems - more people have seen her look bad and this hurts her more, and you lied about it so she will struggle to trust you in future. All in all the truth is often kinder in the long run.
 
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