the destructive instinct

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allisone417 said:
No, I haven't offed myself yet. I've cycled a few more times, and right now I'm doing generally ok. Oh and heres a shocker - Ever since I stopped taking my happy pills every morning 2 weeks ago, I feel better. A lot better. I can actually sleep now, and I dont feel so suicidal when I hit the troughs. So fuck western medicine, fuck panacea pills, I'm going back to reading tolstoy and tolkien, writing, and Imma save up my 3 month store of prozac for future experiments.


Btw, I really think I would rather live sometime in the past before society became economic and independant....The fact that we no longer have interdependant, tribal group dynamics and the defined, appreciated social roles wherein is dissapointing once I realized thats pretty much what the fuck is wrong with everything now.

Thanks for the conversing, gentlemen.
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you can go and live in a tribal enviroment if you want. there is still plenty of undeveloped parts of the world. i myself go and live in the wild every year for a few months. theres nothing stopping you doing it. apart from maybe western people telling you how you need modern society.


go and live in the outback or the bush with a tribal group if you please. write some books while you are out there. you will get better inspiration.


and yeah stay off the happy pills.


peace.
 
allisone417 said:
God, somebody save me. It seems another ending is coming.
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life aint that long anyway, just ride it out untill the end. offing yourself is pointless and its not nice to do to others.

you see yourself as the victim, but thats bull because your loved ones are the real victims. theya re the ones who will suffer if you kill yourself. if you cant live for your own sake then live for the people who care about you.

dont be a dick,


peace.
 
EmptyForceOfChi said:
life aint that long anyway, just ride it out untill the end.
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you don't believe in reincarnation?

offing yourself is pointless and its not nice to do to others.
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if i'm gone, nothing matters because nothing exists, not even the others :p

if you cant live for your own sake then live for the people who care about you.
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if they care about her, why do they want her to suffer/live instead of dying?
 
allisone417 said:
God, somebody save me. It seems another ending is coming.
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I am sorry, but there is no one in this world that can save you. There are many people that can help you, but you have to want to save yourself. I’ve been suicidal for many years and there isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think about killing myself. The only thing that is stopping me from putting a bullet in my head is the fact that I don’t want to die without accomplishing some of the goals that I have in life. I learned how to live with my suicidal thoughts. I wouldn’t even say that I am depressed anymore. I am usually in a neutral state of mind. (Not happy or sad) I don’t think that I will ever be a happy person, but I can live with that.

Anyway, my advice to you is to get busy living or get busy dying. (A quote from the movie Shawshank Redemption) If you really want to kill yourself, then go ahead and do it. Just try to make it as painless as possible. But if you want to live, you are going to have to find a reason to survive.

By the way, did you watch the George Carlin video that I posted? What did you think about it?
 
Carcano said:
You obviously dont want to be saved.
You realize now thats it just a bipolar chemical imbalance...there being no other apparent cause, and youve already received the best advice you'll ever get on an internet board.

And yet you continue to wallow in narcissistic romanticism...instead of doing something about it.
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He's bipolar. That's what bipolar people do... :shrug:
 
Well, allisone, good luck to you. If you are seeing a therapist, they should be helping you with your depression / disorder. If you're paying them with no visible results, you should find someone more qualified... and that doesn't necessarily mean they have more degrees on the wall. You know. Someone that can actually help you. Take care. If you take your trip to oblivion, maybe consider a psychadelic exit. Cyanide doesn't sound like a good time... though I guess it's efficient, if that's what you're going for. Still, that's an absolutely worthless idea.
 
allisone417 said:
please moderator, delete this entire thread.
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You started this thread almost two weeks ago! It's been going along fine. You may have decided that you don't like the way it's been going, but you're not the only person who's been participating in the discussion. It would hardly be fair to the others to erase their conversation now, would it?

Lots of people come here and tell us things about their personal lives that some would think embarrassing. You're not even in the competition for the SciForums Top Five if it makes you feel any better.

There was the lady who told us all about the foursomes her husband "made her" participate in on weekends. There was Muslim (maybe he's still around) who told us of things he did that made him look like a first-class idiot and an arrogant one at that, like laughing about getting busted for drunk driving in the U.K. which as I understand is almost grounds for deportation over there, even for native-born citizens. And then of course there's Darksidzz who is still around and constantly tells us how pathetic he is, pleads for help, refuses to take it, spends all his spare time starting really dumb polls on SciForums, and then wonders why he has no girlfriend. And the crap he used to post under his previous handle was so bad that if I had been a moderator then I would have banned him and then hired a hacker to disable his computer.

So this thread is not terribly remarkable by our standards and nobody's going to remember it for more than a few hours if you just stop adding new posts.

Welcome to SciForums :)
 
Fraggle Rocker said:
So this thread is not terribly remarkable by our standards and nobody's going to remember it for more than a few hours if you just stop adding new posts.
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Yeah, I just dont want people googling my name, since I use it elsewhere, and also where my real world aquantences can find me. Stupid on my part, but I'm trying to fix it.
 
allisone417 said:
No, I haven't offed myself yet. I've cycled a few more times, and right now I'm doing generally ok. Oh and heres a shocker - Ever since I stopped taking my happy pills every morning 2 weeks ago, I feel better. A lot better. I can actually sleep now, and I dont feel so suicidal when I hit the troughs. So fuck western medicine, fuck panacea pills, I'm going back to reading tolstoy and tolkien, writing, and Imma save up my 3 month store of prozac for future experiments.

First off, I sincerly apologize for putting this in the general science section, and I'm going to tell you why: the last time (a few months ago) I'd been here the first board was Free Thoughts, and I didnt immidiatly absorb the new layout, supposingly because I was generally upset...anyway....

I do go over old posts when I feel like shit, even notes that I write to myself, and I dont understand them. Thats the whole problem. It seems to be a purely passionate state where logic and reason have no bearing. I asked for scientific analysis, philosophy, etc. Something that I haven't heard before.

I think I will start writing, poetry and short stories and the like. Its nice to know even those who have complete anonymity here can still show they care and not laugh, hand me some potassium cyanide in water and show me the door.

Btw, I really think I would rather live sometime in the past before society became economic and independant....The fact that we no longer have interdependant, tribal group dynamics and the defined, appreciated social roles wherein is dissapointing once I realized thats pretty much what the fuck is wrong with everything now.

Thanks for the conversing, gentlemen.
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Western medicine has been shitty ever since the creation of the DEA. I dont trust the stuff these companies are putting out now days.
 
allisone417 said:
Yeah, I just dont want people googling my name, since I use it elsewhere, and also where my real world aquantences can find me. Stupid on my part, but I'm trying to fix it.
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Why would you care if you're gonna' kill yourself soon anyway?

Baron Max
 
Well you can always go to Room 101...

Really though, if your friends are friends at all, they would care about what you have said. I would want to know if a friend of mine was depressed to the point of suicide. Don't immolate yourself for the sake of your friends' ideas of who you are.
 
original said:
Really though, if your friends are friends at all, they would care about what you have said. I would want to know if a friend of mine was depressed to the point of suicide. Don't immolate yourself for the sake of your friends' ideas of who you are.
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Thats the problem. You tell them, and they get scared, dont know what to do, and they call 911 or some such. And its worth not telling anyone if it means I never have to go back there.
 
allisone417 said:
The curse of bipolar. When I get better, I can't take back the things I've said.
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My mother-in-law is bipolar. She's much worse then you though. She's nearly a sociopath.... I would say you are a fairly mild bipolar....
 
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