the destructive instinct

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allisone417

i'll be in my room
Registered Senior Member
hi guys,

i'm suicidal. please help me out, by wisdom and w/o whitty, jerkass condolences or a friendly push off the cliff. but if you cant help it, by all means, make my night.
 
Don't do it. Don't fucking do it. Whatever is making you unhappy, get away from it. Your goal should be happiness, not loathing and depression. When you die you cease to exist. Well, your remains will slowly decay, but you will be nothing. Why not take advantage of your brief time on this planet and be happy. Fuck it all otherwise.
 
my goals are down the toilet. they are all meaningless. they will amount to nothing, pretty much along with everyone elses. the world will blow up in time. i can strive for happiness, but its a lot harder with bipolar II and depression. the other times this video game of a life can be lovely fun, but other times, like now, its complete shit and not worth living. and really, i dont want to be pitied. i have no friends and mental problems and everything is meaningless and i'm in a lot a pain and no one will listen and who will ever love me? waa waa, bitch bitch. i dont really care anymore. this is what talking to people gets me, a bunch of shit. and the same shit, over and over. 'dont do it!.' 'why?' 'iunno. you're supposed to be happy. just dont.' no one can give me a straight answer. which makes me think there is none, and dying really is the only way out. and apathy is the first step.
 
Yeah there really is no reason why you should expect anyone to be able to tell you why you should live.
Why are you so upset about goals and friends?
The reality is that it will cease to be eventually.
They all pass as we do.
So what is so wrong with desire that you want to kill yourself?
 
I just went to a Roger Waters concert here in Minneapolis, MN. It was fucking awesome. Me and two friends went to a bar and had a few drinks, then walked to the Xcel Energy Center where they were playing. The tickets were $110 a person. When we got to our seats one of my friends was extremely drunk. On stage there was a screen showing an old radio playing classics next to a liquor bottle, glass, and someone's hand holding a cigarette. Eventually the hand would reach for the shot glass, the bottle, or the knob on the radio while the crowd settled in, but all of a sudden Roger Waters came out and started with "In The Flesh?" and about 15,000 people exploded in excitement. The whole show was fantastic! However, one of my friends was so drunk that he slept through 90% of the show. At one point I helped him to the bathroom, but he just stood there in a cold sweat, his brain on autopilot. The point is, he did that to himself. Even though he was slapping my hand in a "high five" (waist high) about fifty times, he wasn't having all that much fun ten minutes later. He woke up the next day feeling fine, and we went to get breakfast.
 
A failed suicide attempt was the first step toward better mental health.

When I was in college, I knew a charming girl I will call Sue (not her real name) who seemed to have some emotional problems. I met her years later and she told me about a suicide attempt her last year in college.

On a saturday night, she collected all the irons she could find in the dorm. She wrapped the cords around her head and neck prior to attempting to drown herself in the bathtub. She knew her instincts would cause her to sit up if she merely tried to stay under the water.

Her plan almost worked. When her instinct ot breathe made her try to sit up, the irons weighted her down enough to keep her down. She was lucky because her roommate had forgotten something and had her date return her to the dorm. Sue was almost drowned when her roommate pulled her out of the tub.

Sue said that the last minute or so just before her roommate rescued her was horrifying. She realized that she really wanted to live, but was now helpless. For that 30-60 seconds she had thought of all the future events she would not experience. Her life all at once did not seem to terrible that it was not worth living.

She said that her life did not immediately start getting better, but that incident put her on the road to learning to cope with life. She was a happy, well adjusted person when I last saw her.

I hope you can start on the road to recovery without some traumatic incident to jog you into learning to cope with your problems.

Death is so final and suicide is so tragic.
 
allisone417 said:
I'm suicidal. please help me out.
Click to expand...
Well here I am reading this half a day later. I certainly hope you're still there.

You posted this in the General Science subforum, which isn't the best place. You would probably get more action in Human Science (which includes psychology) or Ethics. Even in Free Thoughts, although you would have to put up with a lot of smart-ass answers. I'm tempted to suggest that one of your problems is that you don't follow directions, but then that would be a smart-ass answer. :)

It's hard to advise someone who says they're suicidal. For one thing it's risky, you might just say the absolutely wrongest possible thing without realizing it. For another, it's not a generic condition like the flu, so there are no one-size-fits-all remedies.

As a process improvement consultant, I would suggest that you deconstruct this into a process and work it one step at a time. The first step is to get yourself to feel better right now. If you use any recreational drugs, stop. That includes caffeine, I'm one of many people for whom it's a dangerous drug and you might be one too. If your doctor has given you any prescription drugs to help with a problem like insomnia or depression, make sure you take those. If you don't trust your doctor then do whatever you have to do to get a new one.

If you're not getting half an hour of solar-spectrum light on your face and a little other bare skin every day, you could have what goes by various names such as "cabin fever." You have a physical need for a little real or artificial sunlight to recalibrate your circadian rhythm every day, since for unknown reasons we're wired for a 25-hour day, not 24. And you have a psychological, emotional need for it as well. We're not tunneling moles and we're not night-hunting panthers; deep in our animal brain there is an instinctive need to see the sun every day. These days it's easy to buy solar spectrum compact fluorescent light bulbs to screw into the sockets in your lamps. They may cost a few bucks each but this is your life we're talking about.

Do you get enough exercise? That's a no-brainer.

Avoid being alone. Even the most curmudgeonly of us is a pack-social creature by instinct, and can't help feeling somewhat more at peace in the company of family, friends, or even friendly strangers he can talk with. Who knows, one of them, facing you in person, might be able to offer better advice than we can based on a few words of writing. But even if not, the company will both distract you from what's bothering you and release some endorphins that will elevate your mood.

If you have a dog, put down your mouse and go grab him immediately and hug him. Dogs have been comforting us for 15,000 years. You might say they're the only true religion because without even promising to make us feel better, they do it. If you don't have a dog, then go out and get one. No depressed human being should be alone without a dog. I can't tell you the number of times my dogs have sensed my feelings and come up and commandeered my attention. They reminded me that there is somebody who really cares about me and would miss me terribly if I weren't there any more. And snuggling with them releases endorphins.

So: pour your coffee down the drain, go for a walk in the sunlight with your dog, and meet some nice people along the way. That covers just about all of my points. :)

Work on just taking care of right now, today. When you make some progress on that, then start figuring out what to do about the future.

I do not in any way mean to belittle all of the thoughtful things you articulated about your goals, people, the universe, and everything else. All I can say is that out of the ten or twelve billion people who have inhabited this planet, you're not the only one who has been bothered by those things. Not everybody is content to let their mind be occupied by the Home Shopping Network. There is a large number of people right here on SciForums who rail about these issues every day, often more than once a day. But they find a way not only to not let it drive them to suicide, but to actually be energized and go back out into the world and do their teeny little part to try to make things better for at least one person, perhaps themselves.

See if you can't find a way to just feel a little better temporarily, and from a new perspective you might discover that you can reevaluate your options tomorrow.

Good luck. Keep in touch. We care.
 
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allisone417 said:
hi guys,

i'm suicidal. please help me out, by wisdom and w/o whitty, jerkass condolences or a friendly push off the cliff. but if you cant help it, by all means, make my night.
Click to expand...

It's a good thing, but why do you want help out of being suicidal?

Everything in life is hard if you see it that way and it can't be helped, but, cheesey as it might sound, things can be better.

Original was right when he said happiness is the most important thing in life. Your psychological problems won't help you, obviously, but I'd hazard a guess that situational and environmental factors bring you down. Not having friends is shitty and it makes you feel shit.

I don't know how to explain, but once you're in motion with a little confidence and some things to make you smile, it all becomes a lot easier, and can even be enjoyable.

Nobody knows what happens when we die. It's probably the end of us and we're none the wiser, but we just don't know. You're here, you're going to die one day, regardless, so why not give it a go? Your worst pain could be nothing compared to what's after death. Probably isn't, but hey, it's not a bad argument. :D

Do you have any dreams or ambitions, or did you used to have them?
 
I do exercise. I run every day. and I read and draw and I'm looking for an apartment and a new job. The life is fine. Its my mind that isn't. Dispite everything, I still think about suicide all the time. I told my closest friend a few months ago, and he called the cops. They put me in the nut house and I had to play that game. They didnt care about anything except keeping you alive. existing, rather than living. take your meds and dont make a scene. Having your life taken away is worse than dying. I had to pretend I was fine for 3 days. So I've lost whatever faith I had in the mental health system. its really not worth it, anymore. I've been in it for years, and I feel worse. They've done nothing. I dont want to be part of the prozac nation. No one cares how you feel, its only here, take this if you feel bad, it will make you happy 7 ways from sunday. I wish I had an addiction. I'm not yet old enough to drink (9 months away), though I do half a handle of smirnof under my bed, but it doesnt help. I dont think I'd survive the rest of my life anyway.

I'm fine with death. no sence trying scare tactics to tell me what it might be. It wont be hell and it wont be heaven. I myself believe it will be complete nothingness, I will stop existing and I will be gone. It seems entirely too good to be true, that there is this escape waiting for me. Even the worst is fine. The best would be being one with everything, the universe, every life that has ever been. And even that seems feasable to me. I'm afraid I'm convincing myself further.
 
allisone417 said:
..... I'm fine with death. no sence trying scare tactics to tell me what it might be. It wont be hell and it wont be heaven. I myself believe it will be complete nothingness, I will stop existing and I will be gone.
It seems entirely too good to be true, that there is this escape waiting for me. Even the worst is fine. The best would be being one with everything, the universe, every life that has ever been. And even that seems feasable to me. I'm afraid I'm convincing myself further.
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I'm curious, Allisone, why you feel the need to tell us all this?

Baron Max
 
Baron Max said:
I'm curious, Allisone, why you feel the need to tell us all this?

Baron Max
Click to expand...

Because I feel I've exhausted all other possible outlets. I figured the anonymity here and the fact that most of you are intelligent, curious people not contstrained to avarage opinions would produce someone could help me find an answer. The world around me only gives me the same answers over and over again, and i've debunked them too many times.

I ask for anything at all, as long as I've never heard it before.
 
allisone417 said:
Because I feel I've exhausted all other possible outlets. I figured the anonymity here and the fact that most of you are intelligent, curious people not contstrained to avarage opinions would produce someone could help me find an answer. The world around me only gives me the same answers over and over again, and i've debunked them too many times.

I ask for anything at all, as long as I've never heard it before.
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What is it that you want?

So now you want to live? Or that you want the world to change more to your liking and desires?

What is it you want, Allisone? ...that everything be just as you want? And if it doesn't change, you're gonna' end it all? What is it that you want that you can't find?

Baron Max
 
I'll help you.

You see I too once had depression but now it is gone.

Depression is caused by stress (This is usually a short period and doesnt last long) but constant stress can damage the brain causing a person to be depressed for long periods of time for little to no reason at times.

The hippocampus portion of the brain has been shown to be in a lot of ways related to a persons mood. Now dont worry you can regrow the Hippocampus nuerons and ultimately get rid of depression.

:m: Cannabis regrows this portion of the brain after a period of use. Use :m: long enough and you will regrow the neurons you lost due to stress a long time ago.

Disclaimer: I didnt give you this advice.
 
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Baron Max said:
What is it that you want?

So now you want to live? Or that you want the world to change more to your liking and desires?

What is it you want, Allisone? ...that everything be just as you want? And if it doesn't change, you're gonna' end it all? What is it that you want that you can't find?

Baron Max
Click to expand...
He wants to feel normal. You ever felt sad and useless for no reason at all?

That's depression.
 
allisone417 said:
I do exercise. I run every day. and I read and draw and I'm looking for an apartment and a new job. The life is fine. Its my mind that isn't. Dispite everything, I still think about suicide all the time. I told my closest friend a few months ago, and he called the cops. They put me in the nut house and I had to play that game. They didnt care about anything except keeping you alive. existing, rather than living. take your meds and dont make a scene. Having your life taken away is worse than dying. I had to pretend I was fine for 3 days. So I've lost whatever faith I had in the mental health system. its really not worth it, anymore. I've been in it for years, and I feel worse. They've done nothing. I dont want to be part of the prozac nation. No one cares how you feel, its only here, take this if you feel bad, it will make you happy 7 ways from sunday. I wish I had an addiction. I'm not yet old enough to drink (9 months away), though I do half a handle of smirnof under my bed, but it doesnt help. I dont think I'd survive the rest of my life anyway.

I'm fine with death. no sence trying scare tactics to tell me what it might be. It wont be hell and it wont be heaven. I myself believe it will be complete nothingness, I will stop existing and I will be gone. It seems entirely too good to be true, that there is this escape waiting for me. Even the worst is fine. The best would be being one with everything, the universe, every life that has ever been. And even that seems feasable to me. I'm afraid I'm convincing myself further.
Click to expand...

Anti-depressants do not work anyways unless your stupid and then a placebo would work the same. But I can tell from right here that you are intelligent and you think for yourself. Good deal.

Your friend on the other hand isnt intelligent and he doesnt think for himself. You are smarter than he is.
 
btw, i'm female.

Smoking mj and drinking are about the best experiences I have, but usually only because there are other people around. I use drugs to get closer to people, but I dont have connections to them, save random occations.

I started prozac but after a few months I was feeling the same so I threw it in the bin. I felt wrong being on it in the first place, but I was desperate. At least I relieved myself of the itch.

And yeah, I can analyze everything but there is nothing logical about this. One second I'm estatic and curious and I'm in heaven, essentially happy, and the next hour or day or week I'm suicidal. I've studied myself for a long time and it doesnt make sence. I've never been able to figure out why. it seems to be bipolar II, and the only 'fix' they have is meds. Also therepy and cognitive therepy, but both are just shit. Asinine, phoney shit. I have no idea what else to do, and that is why I come to you.
 
I know its difficult to not judge one by their spelling, but try. My grammer is better.
 
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