Okay. So I've been away from this thread for a month, but apparently I'm still one focus of discussion, both personally (with Tiassa and Jan both still carrying heavy personal baggage) and, apparently, also as a kind of model atheist (in the eyes of Jan and, more and more, it seems, Tiassa).
The specific content of Jan's and Tiassa's posts is, by now, almost irrelevant, since both of them seem at this point to be driven by petty hatreds and strong emotions rather than any particular conviction based on reason. I will probably comment on some specific parts of their posts over the past month; there are quite a few lies there that probably need correcting, for starters. But I'd like to take this moment to look at the big picture, as I see it.
Let's start with Jan. It is possible that, for the first time in his life, Jan has been forced to confront some of the misogynist, archaic, religion-inspired views that he has adopted regarding women and their relation to men. Assuming that Jan thinks of himself as a good person, it would be understandable that he would be upset to discover that he holds many views about women that are quite out of step with modern, more enlightened attitudes. Perhaps Jan is angry at himself for failing to see his own faults in this regard until they were pointed out to him. However, I must say that it is disappointing, if understandable and not unexpected, that Jan has chosen to lash out at other people, shooting the messenger as it were, rather than to engage in any honest introspection.
On other hand, maybe Jan is more self-aware than I give him credit for. Maybe he knows that his misogynistic views are rooted in ancient scriptures and just plain old-fashioned patriarchal ideas, but that's just the way he thinks the world ought to work - with him, as a man, "above" women in ability, worth and privilege. The only thing that doesn't make this as plausible an explanation for me is that, if Jan really believed in the righteousness of his own views in the way he insists he does, he wouldn't have a reason to be as angry as he is. There would not be the need to constantly double down on his misogyny and his insistence on his own brand of biblical literalism. So, I conclude that Jan is probably looking for excuses, to make himself feel better. He is looking for somebody else to blame. I'm conveniently available, and so is Bells; we can be the scape goats that absolve him for his sins.
Then there's Tiassa. We're not really sure what Tiassa's personal belief system is. He toyed with atheism at one point, but he also toyed with Wicca and other belief systems, it seems. It's unclear to me where he has landed on the whole God question. Based on what he has written, it seems to me that he retains some nostalgia for a lost belief system, or at least feels offended that atheists dare to intrude on his sense that there might be a higher power of some kind. The upshot of all that is that Tiassa is a bit irate with atheists like me, who don't treat vague religious ideas with sufficient respect. The straw man version of that is that atheists like me (atheists in general, perhaps) just don't know the important stuff about what religion really is. It's a lazy way to try to brush atheism aside - "They aren't worth talking to, because they don't know the first thing about what they're trying to discuss." Meanwhile, Tiassa himself isn't willing to stand for anything when it comes to his own religious beliefs. In fact, like Jan, he mostly hides those away.
Let's be clear, though. Religion and atheism isn't why Tiassa is in this thread; that's a distraction at best, or an excuse. No, Tiassa's main motivation is to personally attack me. He thinks that siding with Jan is a good way to get my back up, to the extent where it doesn't really matter if he ends up enabling a misogynist or condoning obnoxious behaviours towards women. Collateral damage in pursuit of a worthy cause, in Tiassa's mind, perhaps.
I would like to apologise to Bells for her being dragged into Tiassa's ongoing crusade against evil old me. Apparently, in Tiassa's mind, Bells is but a puppet who is incapable of having an independent opinion. Things were fine between Tiassa and Bells until Bells dared to suggest that maybe it was Tiassa who was being unreasonable and not me. Now, Tiassa's assumption seems to be that Bells is as irrational and dishonest as I am, because she's been converted to the dark side somehow.
The sad truth is that here we have two men - Jan and Tiassa - who both have large chips on their shoulders, for different reasons. One is scared of leaving his past behind and becoming a better man, so he's looking for somebody else to blame. The other seems unable to let past disagreements go, to the point where he's weighed himself down with so much emotional baggage that he's now willing to lash out and tell outright lies to promote his agenda. In Jan, Tiassa has found a useful excuse to carry on a pointless crusade based on a lie. In Tiassa, Jan has found a straw to cling to as he drowns in his own iniquity, because Tiassa offers him the comforting lie that it is fine to remain just as he is.
It's a real pity that all of this is so petty and self-serving.
I suggest (though I'm sure this will be ignored) to both Jan and Tiassa: take some time away from the forum. Reflect on your own actions and words here. Stop blaming other people for your problems. Try to do better.