No new kittens.
Life is at a low ebb.
Maybe you should start showing Sparky some Kitty Porn.
Minus 3?
That's our Summer.
What do you mean holding out. No Sex?
Dear Spud letter will be following shortly.
Dear Spud,
It's not you it's the cats.
They are all totally insane.
I know some cat owners like to dress their cats in human clothes,
but not many cats dress themselves.
Sparky dressing himself as Henry VIII. That's over the top.
I'm off to Tantawangalo to live with Brad.
OK he doesn't know whether it's daytime or night-time, but I can tell him, and that makes me feel important.
By the way, the lawyer has sold the house and you are on the street next week.
Good luck for the future,
Empress