I'm not protective of him at all, he sounds like a sleaze from what she said.
And quite possibly he is one, but since he hasn't had the opportunity to present his side of the story, I prefer to reserve judgment on the issue.
Email password cracking
- Thread starter sonicgirl
- Start date
- Status
I'm not protective of him at all, he sounds like a sleaze from what she said.
And quite possibly he is one, but since he hasn't had the opportunity to present his side of the story, I prefer to reserve judgment on the issue.
I don't see that the other side of the story has any bearing at all.
If you cheated on me, then you disrespected me - you discarded the trust I placed in you - you showed me how little I mean to you - you proved to me that you do not deserve the respect and devotion I treat you with.
Bullshit.
If there was a problem in the relationship that made you want to stray, you should have brought it to me before this happend - honestly.
If there was something lacking in your life, you should have brought it to me befor ethis happened - honestly.
What, in your mind, is an "acceptable" excuse for tossing my trust in you out the window,and potentially risking my life with an STD?
What could possibly excuse that?
Your post is all about you.
IMO, there is no enduring love without forgiveness. From my conversations with couples who have had long marriages, most relationships require some element of forgiveness, especially of sexual infidelity. It could hardly be an aspect peculiar to Asians and Arabs.
Of course it is not just Arabs or Asians or any other particular group.
The question I have to ask, however, is where is that line? What is forgivable?
For me, what crosses that line to unforgivable, is pretty simple. Betray my trust, and it is over.
What is that line for you?
Hmm, I guess for me it would be lack of commitment to continue the relationship.
I have heard too many confessions/stories of momentary lapses of judgment (from both sexes) to consider them as representative of a lack of trust or commitment. It has happened to friends of mine, so I have seen it pretty closely. Thats why I said I would have liked to hear the boy's side of it. It could be something as simple as cold feet at the idea of a permanent commitment; after all, could he have acted any more weird? More obviously doing something secret or sordid?
So, if he hits you, but says he wants to stay togather and work it out, that;s OK?
If he continually cheats on you and says he wants to stay together and work it out, that's OK?
Yes, I do have extraordinarily high standards.
There is a reason I went throught dozens of relationships and didn't settle down and get married until I was 35.
I didn't want to settle for anything less than I deserve, and I deserve at least as much as I am willing to put out.
I would never cheat on my wife, I don't care what's going on, I would NEVER cheat on my wife and I expect at least as much from her.
I personally think people's standards are far too low and they put up with far too much bullshit.
I treat my wife with the utmost respect and honor, and if I get less than that from her, she doesn't deserve me.
I'd rather be alone than settle for less than what I deserve.
In fact, before I met her, I was convinced that I was going to live the rest of my life alone, and I was fine with that.
I think that's important.
If you can't be alone, than you will settle for less than you deserve ion order to NOT be alone.
Untill you are ready, willing, able and satisfied with teh prospect of being alone, you shouldn't be married, in my opinion.
If he continually cheats on you and says he wants to stay together and work it out, that's OK?
Yes, I do have extraordinarily high standards.
There is a reason I went throught dozens of relationships and didn't settle down and get married until I was 35.
I didn't want to settle for anything less than I deserve, and I deserve at least as much as I am willing to put out.
I would never cheat on my wife, I don't care what's going on, I would NEVER cheat on my wife and I expect at least as much from her.
I personally think people's standards are far too low and they put up with far too much bullshit.
I treat my wife with the utmost respect and honor, and if I get less than that from her, she doesn't deserve me.
I'd rather be alone than settle for less than what I deserve.
In fact, before I met her, I was convinced that I was going to live the rest of my life alone, and I was fine with that.
I think that's important.
If you can't be alone, than you will settle for less than you deserve ion order to NOT be alone.
Untill you are ready, willing, able and satisfied with teh prospect of being alone, you shouldn't be married, in my opinion.
Oh I totally agree. I think far too many people jump into marriage without considering what it entails or because they fear being alone.
And no, I don't consider abuse as commitment. I was talking about the question of trust.
Glad to hear it.
I almost lost hope for you.
I see infidelity as no different than abuse.
It is the discarding of trust placed in you by someone who you rely on and have faith in.
Glad to hear it.
I almost lost hope for you.
Hehe
Have you ever supported a friend through a marital/relationship crisis like that?
What would be your take on something like that?
Yes.
It depends on the friend, our level of friendship, the situation and many other factors.
I try my best to not force my own value system and morals onto others.
If we are discussing purely hypotheticals, or my own personal life, I draw a hard and fast line.
Did this person promise fidelity?
If so:
(1.)This person did not respect you and your relationship enough to be honest with you...
As I said weeks ago in this thread, cheating is generally a symptom, not a cause - if someone cheats there is usually something else wrong. If there WAS, then the person should have come to you - if they did not, then there is something else seriously awry in the relationship. The communication is dead. The trust is dead.
If it is not a symptom of something else that is seriously wrong, then the person simply can not be trusted, and is not ready for a committed relationship - and may never be. If you want an open relationship, that's fine. I see nothing at all wrong with that - but you should be honest about your intentions. Again, this person should not be trusted. Sleep with whoever you want to, just don't lie to me and tell me I am the only one.
(2.) How much respect for you does this person have if (s)he is willing to risk infecting you with an STD, and willing to risk impregnating someone else?
That given, if someone decides to stay with a person, regardless of whatever reasons (s)he may have, I will support my friend. I will lend a shoulder to cry on. I will offer advice. I will be committed to my friendship and do what I can to help give my friend strength to carry on with the decision that friend made. However...
I don't want to hear shit if the jackass cheats again.
You can cry on my shoulder if you are a victim, but I have little compassion for fools.
You are harder than me.
I find it difficult to turn away friends who are also fools.
Tests my patience and understanding though.
You are harder than me.
I find it difficult to turn away friends who are also fools.
Tests my patience and understanding though.
As you get shit on over and over again, that shit hardens and builds up a crust, I suppose.
I try to support my friends, but when they continually make the same stupid mistakes over and over again, as you said, it tests my patience.
Some peopel are simply determined to be unhappy. That's their choice. I won't stand in their way, but i will eventually stop listening to their complaints about the positions they put themselves in. I only have so much energy, and choose to spend it wisely.
I would like to thank all participants in this thread for making this a classic sciforums thread.
I made it into an encyclopedia entry:[ENC]Email password cracking[/ENC].
This has been a horrible personal incident for sonicgirl and the people near her, but I think we can all also agree that this thread is also a valuable document on how the internet, and modern technology has influenced our life, and continues to influence our life.
I made it into an encyclopedia entry:[ENC]Email password cracking[/ENC].
This has been a horrible personal incident for sonicgirl and the people near her, but I think we can all also agree that this thread is also a valuable document on how the internet, and modern technology has influenced our life, and continues to influence our life.
If you didn't hack his email, how did you get the picture? sounds very fishy to me!
And what the hell is wrong with having sex with someone else anyways? It's just some pointless society belief.
Only stupid dumbasses marry and you are a attention whoring (shown by your reaction) drama queen.
And what the hell is wrong with having sex with someone else anyways? It's just some pointless society belief.
Only stupid dumbasses marry and you are a attention whoring (shown by your reaction) drama queen.
Last edited:
Oh right. I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise for my lack of participation thus far but I would like you to know that I have been reading the unfolding events avidly.
Well.. not avidly, but regularly.
Well.. no, not regularly, but occasionally.
And we're all grateful for that. But anyway, whereabouts are you from, I'm curious... to know approximately how long it'll be before your email pops into my inbox, forwarded by Tom, to Dick, to Harry, to me. I mean, I don't see how this can fail to become the latest viral email craze. I estimate I'll have it in about two weeks. I look forward to that.
PS Hope things work out, etc.
Sciencelovah
Registered Senior Member
:huh:
....
....
Sciencelovah
Registered Senior Member
I like to think that if my husband ever cheated on me, he would get his sorry as kicked to the curb. But Sam has a point. Would I be willing to end everything because he literally screwed up? What if he got a drunk driving arrest? Spent the house payment on drugs? What if I cheated?
Some relationships can survive what others can't. I don't know why it has to boil down to a personal attack because some members think that.
Oh the drama
Some relationships can survive what others can't. I don't know why it has to boil down to a personal attack because some members think that.
Oh the drama
Wow - this is the best computer oriented thread ever!
Next up 10 ways to modify your local area network settings, and meet the man of your dreams while doing it.
Next up 10 ways to modify your local area network settings, and meet the man of your dreams while doing it.
If you didn't hack his email, how did you get the picture? sounds very fishy to me!
And what the hell is wrong with having sex with someone else anyways? It's just some pointless society belief.
Only stupid dumbasses marry and you are a attention whoring (shown by your reaction) drama queen.
Well when I read the email with the reference to 'thought this would be a nice reminder of the other day' I obviosuly knew that there was a pic or video or some kind of attachment soI then accessed his email with the password I had obtained via keylogger. So I guess maybe that is hacking? I just meant that I didnt get a 'hacker' to hack his email (as I was planning to do originally)
Obviously you have different views on marriage but when I got engaged we planned on vows to include 'being faithful to the exclusion of all others' which clearly means no sex with others. If he didnt want that he shouldnt have got engaged!!
Im not a f**king 'attention whoring drama queen' I found out that the person I was planning on spending the rest of my life with, have kids with, had made me out to be a paranoid lunatic when all the time I WAS RIGHT & he had been lying to me!!! You have no idea of the pain. I have already spent 6 years of my life with him, I have been with him since my early 20s & now I feel the majority of my 20s has been wasted. He looked me in the eyes & said 'I love you, I cant wait till our wedding day, I will be so proud to be your husband & I will look after you forever' and about 10 mins later he was on MSN to his ex telling her he couldnt stand the thought of being faithful for life!! WTF??!!
So forgive me if my reaction was a bit strong, it was heat of the moment, when my whole life was turned upside down. One minute I was enagaged & had my life mapped out with this man, the next minute I was alone, betrayed & utterly devasted. Hes lucky I didnt go REALLY mad & torch his car or whatever. People do a lot worse than I did. What do you think I should have done exactly?? You obviously have never felt the rage & humiliation & heartache of betrayal. Is it so weird I wanted to hurt him back. And like I said, all his friends family etc would have known that the wedding was off & why should I owe him anything- why should I protect him? Let them all know the truth I say.
If he didnt want people to know he was a lying cheat he shouldnt have jumped into bed with his ex 3 weeks before his wedding day should he????
- Status