About how bad should I feel?

visceral_instinct said:
Come on guys, let's put this issue in perspective.

I know when I was 16 I could have cared less about lofty ideas like love, I just wanted a certain part of my nervous system stimulated.
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i don't think that perspective can be correlated to age or gender necessarily, from what i've seen and experienced.

i also think that every person is born wanting to love. and to be loved, and that fairy tale notion lasts until it is beaten out of them by this cruel reality we live in.
 
visceral_instinct said:
You say you're forgiving but you're refusing to be so.

No one is making excuses. No one thinks his stupid mistake was okay. But unlike you most people took the reasonable route and explained to him why he was stupid and thoughtless to do what he did and then put it in perspective and treated the mistake as a normal part of life. Just about everyone in here said basically 'You were a moron, don't do this again' and then left it alone. You on the other hand are demonizing him. You're the only one. Feel free to be unreasonable. I'm not listening.
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yes you are, you just responded to my post. hee hee. i'm not demonizing him, i'm being honest and saying that what he did is NOT ok. is he asking for forgiveness, or is he laughing about it and not giving a crap, and thinking "hey, that lying thing worked really well. i think i should do it again."? he said he doesn't feel bad about what he did right? he thinks it's funny right? did i miss something? where's the remorse? where's the regret? did i miss a post of his?
 
Lori_7 said:
i'm extremely forgiving, not self-righteous as i've already admitted to committing these offenses, and it's not naive nor prudish to say that lying to manipulate is not a good thing to do. i'm actually intelligent and experienced enough to know that making excuses for hateful and hurtful behavior does not affect positive change or learning.
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Do you realize how badly you contradict yourself? In one sentence, you say that he is an abusive asshole, and in the next sentence, you claim to be extremely forgiving?

Your not self righteous? And you claim to have done these same things, yet you don't seem to be willing to call yourself an abusive asshole. Are you exempt from the same judgment that you dish out?

Not a prude, but you sure seem to be frowning terribly on a teenager doing things that teenagers do.

Not Naive? It should be expected that people will behave this way. Its up to the individual to protect themselves from this. Then again, we have already been over this and you claimed that men should protect women. I challenged you that women should fend for themselves, but you seem to be at a loss as you didn't respond to that. Co-dependency issues?

Intelligent? Who said we should make excuses for him? I'm not saying that what he did was ok. But it doesn't warrant being called an abusive asshole. People will always rationalize their bad behaviors. Don't tell me for a second that you don't. If you are human, you rationalize. If you claim to be intelligent, you should know this.

"Go to church, I am the church." This is not a self glorifying self righteous statement?
 
Lori_7 said:
i'm not demonizing him, i'm being honest and saying that what he did is NOT ok. is he asking for forgiveness, or is he laughing about it and not giving a crap, and thinking "hey, that lying thing worked really well. i think i should do it again."? he said he doesn't feel bad about what he did right? he thinks it's funny right? did i miss something? where's the remorse? where's the regret? did i miss a post of his?
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Calling him an abusive asshole isn't demonizing? Could have fooled me!

You seem all to eager to assume that he is laughing about it and not feeling bad. His statements as far as I am concerned are vague at best. Or at least a concerted effort to convince himself that he actually does feel bad.
 
skaught said:
Do you realize how badly you contradict yourself? In one sentence, you say that he is an abusive asshole, and in the next sentence, you claim to be extremely forgiving?
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well if there's nothing wrong, there's nothing to forgive right?

Your not self righteous? And you claim to have done these same things, yet you don't seem to be willing to call yourself an abusive asshole. Are you exempt from the same judgment that you dish out?
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no, i was most definitely calling myself an abusive asshole. no exemption here.

Not a prude, but you sure seem to be frowning terribly on a teenager doing things that teenagers do.
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not all teenagers do that, and some adults do. i don't agree with making excuses for this kind of behavior, i don't care what age...

Not Naive? It should be expected that people will behave this way. Its up to the individual to protect themselves from this. Then again, we have already been over this and you claimed that men should protect women. I challenged you that women should fend for themselves, but you seem to be at a loss as you didn't respond to that. Co-dependency issues?
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i've already expressed my opinion on this. lying and manipulating is not ok, and it's a damn shame that it happens. love and communion are beautiful and fulfilling things. healthy things. it's simply not ok to victimize people. period.

Intelligent? Who said we should make excuses for him? I'm not saying that what he did was ok. But it doesn't warrant being called an abusive asshole. People will always rationalize their bad behaviors. Don't tell me for a second that you don't. If you are human, you rationalize. If you claim to be intelligent, you should know this.
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you act as if calling someone out on being an abusive asshole is worse than being an abusive asshole. funny.

"Go to church, I am the church." This is not a self glorifying self righteous statement?
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no i don't. it actually glorifies christ.
 
I give up. I can't discuss things with someone who uses self contradicting statements and ignorance as part of their discussion strategies.
 
Lori_7 said:
well if there's nothing wrong, there's nothing to forgive right?



no, i was most definitely calling myself an abusive asshole. no exemption here.



not all teenagers do that, and some adults do. i don't agree with making excuses for this kind of behavior, i don't care what age...



i've already expressed my opinion on this. lying and manipulating is not ok, and it's a damn shame that it happens. love and communion are beautiful and fulfilling things. healthy things. it's simply not ok to victimize people. period.



you act as if calling someone out on being an abusive asshole is worse than being an abusive asshole. funny.



no i don't. it actually glorifies christ.
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I don't think anyone here thinks there is nothing wrong. He seemed to be asking for clarification as to whether he had made a mistake, and the people in here told him he had indeed made one.

NO ONE IS MAKING EXCUSES FOR HIM! No one thinks it's okay to lie. But equally, unlike you, we understand that it was a thoughtless mistake and he probably doesn't want to go through life hurting others, and most people just told him he was an idiot then moved on and gave constructive input. That is NOT making excuses.

Making one stupid mistake is being an abusive asshole?

Please don't ever have children. I dread to think how an attitude like the one you're currently expressing would fracture a child or teenager's mind. You would probably call a five year old an abusive asshole for lying about who ate all the cookies.
 
nietzschefan said:
fkin ADD generation...
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Pfft.

In my day the nuns at the Catholic school cured "ADD" with a crack across the knucles with a wooden pointer...
:itold:

In any event. after perusing those lyrics, I detected a note of familiarity. Upon revisiting the link you provided, switching over to a studio version of the tune to avoid the preliminary antics, and confirming my suspicions as to the identity of this selection, I must re-iterate my opinion that it stinks - coincidental tenuous connection to the matter at hand here notwithstanding.
 
visceral_instinct said:
I don't think anyone here thinks there is nothing wrong. He seemed to be asking for clarification as to whether he had made a mistake, and the people in here told him he had indeed made one.

NO ONE IS MAKING EXCUSES FOR HIM! No one thinks it's okay to lie. But equally, unlike you, we understand that it was a thoughtless mistake and he probably doesn't want to go through life hurting others, and most people just told him he was an idiot then moved on and gave constructive input. That is NOT making excuses.

Making one stupid mistake is being an abusive asshole?

Please don't ever have children. I dread to think how an attitude like the one you're currently expressing would fracture a child or teenager's mind. You would probably call a five year old an abusive asshole for lying about who ate all the cookies.
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lol. i would not call a five year old an asshole, but i would explain to a five year old that lying is wrong, and that hurting people is called "abuse".

in this case, i don't see how it was a "mistake". he knew the girl had liked him for a long time. he knew there was a good chance that if he said those words it would get him what he wanted, and he knew those words were a lie. that's not a mistake. i would consider a mistake to be unknowingly and unintentionally doing something wrong.

then there's the issue of remorse and regret. i haven't heard any.

excuses i've heard here include his age and his gender. and we've even gone so far as to accuse the girl of being stupid or careless, as if it's her fault.

bogus.
 
Lori_7 said:
lol. i would not call a five year old an asshole, but i would explain to a five year old that lying is wrong, and that hurting people is called "abuse".

in this case, i don't see how it was a "mistake". he knew the girl had liked him for a long time. he knew there was a good chance that if he said those words it would get him what he wanted, and he knew those words were a lie. that's not a mistake. i would consider a mistake to be unknowingly and unintentionally doing something wrong.

then there's the issue of remorse and regret. i haven't heard any.

excuses i've heard here include his age and his gender. and we've even gone so far as to accuse the girl of being stupid or careless, as if it's her fault.

bogus.
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It was a mistake because he chose to do something thoughtless in the heat of the moment.

I'ma ignore you now. :cool:
 
Fraggle Rocker said:
In teenage boys, testosterone has a very similar effect to alcohol. Their brains completely cease operating. "Thinking" has nothing to do with it. ;)
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Trust me, teen girls have some shit in them that does the same thing.

At least, I did.

I remember being 16 and feeling like a deranged animal that just wanted to mate. I hated it.
 
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