Expecting good things out of people is naive and unrealistic. Trust should be earned and not blindly given. You're bound to be trampled on if you freely trust people so soon.
About how bad should I feel?
- Thread starter Betrayer0fHope
- Start date
Expecting good things out of people is naive and unrealistic. Trust should be earned and not blindly given. You're bound to be trampled on if you freely trust people so soon.
Sometimes they are just young, confused and unsure of what is right and wrong. While I do think it is wrong to knowingly treat someone this way, sometimes people do it without realizing what they are really doing. While such people should be admonished, they should also be forgiven.
Don't hate the hater. Your just reducing yourself to their level. You would probably get better results through gently admonishing them and then helping them to understand why what they did was wrong and forgiving them than calling them things like abusive assholes and making them feel like shit. A person treated thusly is much more likely to do the same thing over again and just be more careful not to get found out.
I gave it the old college try, but frankly it was pretty damned annoying, so I gave up before anybody sang anything.
Excellent post Skaught.
I agree. Calling him an abusive asshole is going waaay too far. He's six-fucking-teen and new to the messy business of relationships and love. If he were 26 instead of 16 he'd have more experience and more self awareness and realize before he said 'I love you' that those words mean a lot to most girls and they will feel hurt if they find he didn't mean it all that seriously. But he's NOT 26 and he WAS young and confused. So let's cut him some damn slack, yeah? We were all in that situation once.
:bravo:
Neither sex deserves to be treated hurtfully, but women are not some sort of special needs person who is entitled to extra care. If anything it's insulting to women in general to say that men should look after their best interests.
Agreed, goes for both sexes though.
Agreed.
And this. Virtually everyone does it, and virtually everyone just accepts it and gets on with things cause it's "no big deal". It's all very sad but that's life to most people. :shrug:
Will you marry me?
he knew what he was doing and admits that he doesn't care.
i think it should go both ways. never said otherwise. but in this case, he was the perp.
and come on VI, this kid new exactly what he was doing and why. if he's old enough to have sex, then he's old enough to be responsible for it. and, i know kids much, much younger than he is, that know lying isn't the right thing to do.
Where did he say he didn't care?
Ok, then. Let's pick out something YOU did when you were 16 and not old enough to have the self awareness and experience to know you were hurting someone. Maybe you said something to your mom that you shouldn't, you weren't honest enough with someone? Let's all hate on YOU for that mistake and call you things like abusive asshole and refuse point blank to understand. Now how would you feel?
Sure
He's not old enough to even remotely understand sex and the implications of it. Nor is he old enough to be even remotely responsible about sex. Nor is he old enough to understand romantic love and the implications of saying it.
then i think he should keep his dick in his pants until he is.
Where did he say he didn't care?
Ok, then. Let's pick out something YOU did when you were 16 and not old enough to have the self awareness and experience to know you were hurting someone. Maybe you said something to your mom that you shouldn't, you weren't honest enough with someone? Let's all hate on YOU for that mistake and call you things like abusive asshole and refuse point blank to understand. Now how would you feel?
Sure
well, he said he doesn't feel bad about it, and that he's laughing about it.
and i'm not excluding myself in this regard at all. i've made more than my fair share of mistakes, and i've been an abusive asshole myself. but i don't wish to be that way, and i wonder, based on his response, if he feels like he made a mistake at all. ?
i'm not buying.
Well thats ok, cause I'm not buying into your prudish hate filled ignorant naive unforgiving, and self righteous way of looking at the world.
i'm extremely forgiving, not self-righteous as i've already admitted to committing these offenses, and it's not naive nor prudish to say that lying to manipulate is not a good thing to do. i'm actually intelligent and experienced enough to know that making excuses for hateful and hurtful behavior does not affect positive change or learning.
Come on guys, let's put this issue in perspective.
I know when I was 16 I could have cared less about lofty ideas like love, I just wanted a certain part of my nervous system stimulated.
I know when I was 16 I could have cared less about lofty ideas like love, I just wanted a certain part of my nervous system stimulated.
You say you're forgiving but you're refusing to be so.
No one is making excuses. No one thinks his stupid mistake was okay. But unlike you most people took the reasonable route and explained to him why he was stupid and thoughtless to do what he did and then put it in perspective and treated the mistake as a normal part of life. Just about everyone in here said basically 'You were a moron, don't do this again' and then left it alone. You on the other hand are demonizing him. You're the only one. Feel free to be unreasonable. I'm not listening.