The thing is to find something in common, like work or a hobby. But you're right, we are different. Men and women, in general, don't hold the same interests. As couples we seem to share more than we ever could as just friends.
Ultimate male feminist?
- Thread starter Secular Sanity
- Start date
The thing is to find something in common, like work or a hobby. But you're right, we are different. Men and women, in general, don't hold the same interests. As couples we seem to share more than we ever could as just friends.
I started reading that article and got bored halfway through - it had no reference to an MRI scan.
But if you're around those kind of people, hetero or not, they're just a bunch of superficial morons who couldn't have any real friends anyways. Ignore them.
But if you're around those kind of people, hetero or not, they're just a bunch of superficial morons who couldn't have any real friends anyways. Ignore them.
Secular Sanity
Registered Senior Member
That's not true. Take me for instance, I’m well read. I can build a house from the ground up. I can fix any appliance in my home. I’m an outdoorswoman. I have a lot in common with most men.
I flat-out asked all my male friends, why they were friends with me.
History buff, intelligent, my neighbor, who I thought was a friend, says how could I not be attracted to you?
Psychiatrist, similar interests, who I also thought was a friend. Invites me to a book club to discuss "The Red Book" by Carl Jung. Afterwards, he says that he really enjoys my company and wanted to know if "this" could continue. I had to ask what "this" meant.
All of my male friends from high school, same thing.
What do you want an MRI scan of, an erection?
I’ve asked my two boys, spouse, father in-law, brother, brother in-laws, and most of their friends. They’re not superficial morons, they’re just being honest. Men and women cannot be friends. Ba da bing - ba da boom!
My wife is good friends with 2 men that we both knew in high school (I am also friends with them). We all have known each other about 40 years. She talks to them on the phone at least once a week. She has visited them by herself a few times. Probably at this point in our lives she is better friends with them than I am. They live in other states than us and interestingly when we get together they seem to spend much more time with me than her probably because they feel somewhat strange having my wife as a friend.
The 3 of them are very close and share very much together. And no, there is no sex or even flirting - there is just honest friendship. I must say my wife is a rather exceptional person (if I do say so myself), but that shows that friendships between men and women can work.
Oh, I can just see the little wheels turning you your little suspicious minds!
The 3 of them are very close and share very much together. And no, there is no sex or even flirting - there is just honest friendship. I must say my wife is a rather exceptional person (if I do say so myself), but that shows that friendships between men and women can work.
Oh, I can just see the little wheels turning you your little suspicious minds!
Secular Sanity
Registered Senior Member
Do you think that there's any chance that they are attracted to her? If they were single, and with you out of the picture, if your wife was willing, would they?
Steve Harvey said that it’s almost virtually impossible for a man to be a woman’s friend. "The only reason we’re your friend is usually because you’ve made it perfectly clear that it will go no further than this. That’s the only reason we’re your friend, but then we're just hanging around on the outskirts, tapping along just waiting for something to happen, like when you need a moment to cry on our shoulder or something. Oh, we’ll let you cry on our shoulder, but while we’re patting your hair, we’re thinking about a lot of other things that have nothing to do with"…
Can men and women be Just Friends? Steve Harvey...
Last edited:
What?
Not once in the video clip did I hear anything about neuroticism, extroversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness or even openness to experience! Hence, those two dudes must be nothing but themselves superficial morons.
Not once in the video clip did I hear anything about neuroticism, extroversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness or even openness to experience! Hence, those two dudes must be nothing but themselves superficial morons.
Steve Harvey? C'mon! Stop with the superficial media already.
Sorry I can't answer to all of the hypotheticals, I am only telling you that in my experience a man can just be friends with a woman.
Secular Sanity
Registered Senior Member
Are you a woman, Beer w/Straw?
Secular Sanity
Registered Senior Member
Do you have any close female friends?
Secular Sanity
Registered Senior Member
Well, that explains it. Women can be close friends with men, but men can't be close friends with women.
A little, why? Are you referring to Freud’s, Erikson’s, Piaget’s, and Kohlberg’s? Currently, I’m taking an online sociology class through U.C. Berkley. It’s interesting. They’re touching a little on cultural development.
And you, what are your primary interests, Beer w/Straw?
Well then, if you don't have any, we can't find out from you, if your attracted to them now, can we?
Trust me. Your wives friends...they would if they could.
I mentioned "The Five Factor Personality Traits". They are a classification theory for personality at present day. A scoring questionnaire. I would be more interested in a neurological correlation with a brain scan. Moreover, better medical technology. So, I ended a fling with psychology.
I'm into physics where one can use mathematics as a tool, and not be shackled to questionnaires.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Five_personality_traits#Measurements
I'm into physics where one can use mathematics as a tool, and not be shackled to questionnaires.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Five_personality_traits#Measurements
Secular Sanity
Registered Senior Member
Good for you! What branch?
Lazy undergraduate lol.
Secular Sanity
Registered Senior Member
No, but that's because I am a woman. I'm not attracted to my so-called male friends at all, either.
Just Out of Curiosity ...
... what, exactly, is this one-way friendship idea?
It seems to cast women in a problematic light.
Now, for some the answer is pretty straightforward: Yeah, my (wife/girlfriend).
And, you know, if you're in a sexual relationship with someone, you're in a sexual relationship with someone.
What about that other woman you know over there?
I ask the question because it is a quick illustration of the problem with this one-way friendship idea.
Can you be "friends"―here defined as platonic, nonsexual, trusting relationship―with a woman you have sexual fantasies about?
The thing is that we would be errant to restrict specific sexual interest strictly to masturbatory fantasies.
Furthermore, women, generally speaking, live in environments where conventional societal wisdom prescribes it a woman's duty to prevent men from raping or trying to rape her.
The idea that women can be close friends with men but not vice-versa collides squarely with Infinite Prevention Advocacy.
Does a woman know he thinks about her that way? IPA says she should protect herself.
Does a woman merely think it's possible he might think about her that way? IPA says she should protect herself.
Does a woman believe that he is without specific sexual interest in her? Does the thought not occur to her? IPA says she is irresponsible.
Removing the platonic/sexual question alters the equation dramatically.
It seems to me that in order for a woman to be close, platonic friends with a male, she must let down her expected and prescribed perpetual guard.
Furthermore, it seems unwise to expect that, say, over the course of decades, a woman in a close, trusting, platonic friendship with a male, will never experience a sexual impulse toward him. Thirty-some years ago, we had a musical controversy in American society about whether or not women were empowered to enjoy sexual contact; despite "Like a Virgin" epitomizing the long fantasy of the Guardians of Female Chastity, coming right out and saying it was unladylike.
In the twenty-first century, it's a little different:
(Her sister, by the way, spoofs an esteeming heiress, has a sweet-tooth, shows no mercy to cheeralism, and gets high being nasty.)
This one-way idea of friendship might have its aesthetic pull according to traditional sex and gender roles, but in any more realistic context only seems to highlight the problems about how society views women.
... what, exactly, is this one-way friendship idea?
It seems to cast women in a problematic light.
A Question for Heterosexual Men (rhetorical)
↳When you masturbate, do you think of someone you know?
Now, for some the answer is pretty straightforward: Yeah, my (wife/girlfriend).
And, you know, if you're in a sexual relationship with someone, you're in a sexual relationship with someone.
What about that other woman you know over there?
I ask the question because it is a quick illustration of the problem with this one-way friendship idea.
Can you be "friends"―here defined as platonic, nonsexual, trusting relationship―with a woman you have sexual fantasies about?
A Question for Women
↳Does it affect how you perceive a male friend if you know or have reason to believe he has specific sexual interest in you?
The thing is that we would be errant to restrict specific sexual interest strictly to masturbatory fantasies.
Furthermore, women, generally speaking, live in environments where conventional societal wisdom prescribes it a woman's duty to prevent men from raping or trying to rape her.
The idea that women can be close friends with men but not vice-versa collides squarely with Infinite Prevention Advocacy.
Does a woman know he thinks about her that way? IPA says she should protect herself.
Does a woman merely think it's possible he might think about her that way? IPA says she should protect herself.
Does a woman believe that he is without specific sexual interest in her? Does the thought not occur to her? IPA says she is irresponsible.
Removing the platonic/sexual question alters the equation dramatically.
It seems to me that in order for a woman to be close, platonic friends with a male, she must let down her expected and prescribed perpetual guard.
Furthermore, it seems unwise to expect that, say, over the course of decades, a woman in a close, trusting, platonic friendship with a male, will never experience a sexual impulse toward him. Thirty-some years ago, we had a musical controversy in American society about whether or not women were empowered to enjoy sexual contact; despite "Like a Virgin" epitomizing the long fantasy of the Guardians of Female Chastity, coming right out and saying it was unladylike.
In the twenty-first century, it's a little different:
My name is Panty the Crazy, sexy Panty, and I'm not done breaking the news, now, boys, us girls, we're full-time horny, too. Hey, check out that hot one, damn, he's got a big one―delicious! It's time to get dirty, now, so will you all excuse me? Beat the air, I'm busy.
(Her sister, by the way, spoofs an esteeming heiress, has a sweet-tooth, shows no mercy to cheeralism, and gets high being nasty.)
This one-way idea of friendship might have its aesthetic pull according to traditional sex and gender roles, but in any more realistic context only seems to highlight the problems about how society views women.