Well here is a quick update- he keeps sending me flowers and putting long letters through the letterbox, I tear them up & throw them back out again. He doesnt seem to get that this is NOT FORGIVABLE :bugeye:
His mother has left me a few messages, and his sister has too. Both saying they are embarrassed about it all & they are sorry. I feel bad for them as I did get on with them, especially his mother.

Apparently his office have given him a disciplinary warning for 1- phoning in telling them he had 'chronic tooth ache & am on my way to see emergency dentist' when actually he was going round to his ex's his to have sex
2- 'bringing the company into disrepute' ie damaging the company reputation
His ex has gone away for a few weeks, she was getting quite a lot of grief I hear. Nothing compared to my grief though
As for me, I dont know, sometimes I feel upset, sometimes I feel madly angry, sometimes I feel sad & lonely. I need to put all the memories of us together in a box somewhere where I cant see it all the time. Everywhere there are photos, things we bought together, reminders. I cant take looking at this stuff but I cant throw it away either.
At night I cant sleep, have an image of him with his ex and it makes me really feel sick and so angry :bawl:
My best friend is still here, shes looking after me, my family have been round but I dont want to expose them to my rages & mood swings 24/7 so I will spend more time with them when I feel a bit better I guess
Its quite strange how Im telling all this stuff to a forum of strangers, and its not even a relationship type forum, but it helps just to talk about it I guess, thanks to everyone for listening x