Update: Liquid Nitrogen Nearly three years later .... Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Time marches on. In October, 2012, we considered the poignantly unfortunate tale of Ms. Gaby Scanlon, who required removal of her stomach after consuming a specialty cocktail containing liquid nitrogen↑. This week we learned: A bar in England got slapped with a hefty fine equivalent to more than $156,000 after it took responsibility for serving a teen a shot of liquid nitrogen that nearly killed her, and caused her to have her stomach surgically removed. (Juaregui↱) There are, of course, questions about how this happened and every indication seems to be that putting liquid nitrogen in drinks is really stupid. According to Ms. Scanlon, she was not advised to drink the cocktail in any particular way. "I turned to the man and asked if it was okay to drink. He said 'yes'." And a friend testified that a bartender told Ms. Scanlon to "drink it while it's still smoking", which might well be confirmed by the eventual resolution of the case: In June, Oscar's Wine Bar pleaded guilty to one count of failing in the duty of an employer to ensure the safety of persons not in its employment, and admitted they had not ensured the liquid nitrogen shot was safe to drink. The lawyer representing the bar apologized on behalf of the family that runs it, and said the owners were "mortified" when they learned what happened. Andrew Dunn, director of the company, said he got the idea to serve liquid nitrogen shots after seeing similar cocktails at a bar in London. Dunn struck a deal with prosecutors, who agreed not to present evidence against him personally if he agreed to pay an amount equivalent to about $31,000 in court costs. Look, it's true we can say anything we want about consumers. Hell, there's a place in Nevada served a thing called a Heart Attack Burger, and it's actually caused at least two heart attacks, in the restaurant, while consuming it. Say what we will about eating the burger, but most consumers don't know that consuming that much cholesterol can cause a reaction that spikes the cholesterol in the bloodstream and can in fact cause acute heart attacks. Oh, yeah, and a guy who made a point of eating at the restaurant every day was one of the heart attacks, and he did not survive. It's one thing to say the five alarm chili is gonna be hot, or the five-star rice. Think of it this way: At the salsa convention in San Antonio, they unleash the genuine beasts, unstable concoctions clocking between eleven- and sixteen-million Scos. It's a pinprick on a tortilla chip, and the volunteers are indeed risking their health; so much so that they must sign insurance waivers in order to participate. One particular brand, the way it's packaged, makes you go through three death's head warnings before you can open the bottle: the seal around the box, the box itself, and the seal wrapped around the bottle inside the box. The handlers at the convention wear hazardous material suits. Now, it's one thing if, as has happened before, some teenagers get hold of the stuff and, not knowing what it is, dare one another to drink hot sauce. The damage is unbelievable; those bottles contain enough to potentially kill between several and many times over, but this ain't Kool-Aid, so ... right. Still, though, if a bar was to mix, say, even a quarter teaspoon of this stuff into a bloody mary, or something, there would be no safe way to drink it. A single sip would be dangerous to a consumer's health. Liquid nitrogen? How is this even a good idea? And, yeah, on behalf of consumers: If you can't trust your barkeep, who the hell can you trust? Best wishes, of course, to Ms. Scanlon. Life without a stomach doesn't simply sound unpleasant or unsatisfying; in truth, it's an existential abstraction difficult to compare. I can't wrap my head around it intellectually; what sort of visceral comprehension might I ... well, let's face it, there is none. I mean, liquid nitrogen? I don't care if another bar is doing it. How the hell does .... I mean .... Hello? ____________________ Notes: Juaregui, Andres. "Bar Fined For Liquid Nitrogen Shot That Destroyed Teen's Stomach". The Huffington Post. 18 September 2015. HuffingtonPost.com. 20 September 2015. http://huff.to/1Jj9AAZ
¿Again? No, really, guns aren't sex toys One would think it a lesson that shouldn't actually need reciting↗. One would, therefore, certainly expect it shouldn't need repeating. So here's the thing: When being that stupid is the best interpretation of what just happened ... er ... ah ... you know, why the fuck should I have to finish that sentence? ]A Florida man faces manslaughter charges after telling police he fatally shot an 18-year-old woman in the head during “freaky sex” inside of a motel room. Tyrone Fields told Tampa police that the shooting was an accident and part of a role-playing scenario that had gone horribly wrong. "The defendant stated to law enforcement that it had been an accident during 'freaky sex' with the female victim," the arrest report states. The 21-year-old claims that he was engaging in a sex act with Christina Meagher early on Nov. 7 when she asked him to put his gun to her head. Fields said he removed the magazine from his handgun but forgot to remove a bullet from its chamber. During the sex act, he pulled the trigger and shot Meagher in the side of her head as he lay on top of her. (Golgowski↱) That is to say, even if we're stupid enough to believe Mr. Fields' story, his best defense is that he's so dangerously stupid he couldn't figure out a gun is not a sex toy. ____________________ Notes: Golgowski, Nina. "Man Who Fatally Shot Woman In Head Claims It Happened During 'Freaky Sex'". The Huffington Post. 17 November 2015. HuffingtonPost.com. 23 November 2015. http://huff.to/1XnvN8O
But ... Why? Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! This makes no sense: According to court documents: The teenager set up a drug deal on Facebook with a friend. His friend met the dealer, who showed him the marijuana he wanted. The friend grabbed the bag and ran. The dealer and the passenger from his car chased the friend about 50 yards before the teenager―wearing a mask and showing a handgun — showed up and asked, "What’s up?" The dealer and passenger then ran toward their car. The teenager went to put the gun back into his pants and the weapon fired a bullet through his leg. Just a note: Dope is legal in this state, dude. ____________________ Notes: Ocker, Kenny. "Lakewood teenager shoots himself in groin during robbery attempt, documents say". The News Tribune. 2 May 2016. TheNewsTribune.com. 2 May 2016. http://bit.ly/1SYCRME
A Sadly Inevitable Question Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Warning: Sensitive subject material has been known to unsettle prurient sensitivities in the past. Okay, so, it's one thing if I see sales pitches involving masturbatory potentials if, you know, I'm surveying actual sex toys, pornography, or comfort industry workers, but in general commerce it seems a little less common. I'm not certain what the question is, because looking forward this seems inevitable. But it runs approximately: How comfortable are we with masturbation as a target of a general commerce sales pitch? Amazon.com is one thing, but, you know, won't someone please think of the children? I mean, really. After all, you're not going to put it on the Back to School sales signs, right? Right? But still, last weekend reminds that there are days you'll take the kids shopping for dad. Just sayin'. Spoiler Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
