The Menagerie

"H/F"???

Remember, I'm not a card-carrying gay man. Though, I do have a friend who is one, works at a gay bar, goes to pride, flies to "The Village" for weekends with his "husband", etc. etc. etc.

So, clue me in. . . what's "H/F"?

~String
 
I'm probably taking this too far, but ....

H/F and R/F are shorthand for a couple of ugly terms. You can guess the F, right?

At any rate, it's hate and rodeo, both of which were popular jokes among late teenagers and young twentysomethings of Generation X in Oregon when I lived there in the early '90s.

The hate variation is pretty straightforward. Seduce someone you despise into energetic, dirty sex because, well, you don't like them and are apparently happy to use them in this manner. (This, of course, is terribly twentieth century insofar as it relies in the aftermath on the idea that the other feels some deep shame.)

The rodeo version is damn near criminal, and probably should be illegal. I think it's mostly a crude joke, though, as I know nobody who has ever claimed to perform the rodeo fuck.

But, basically, it was explained to me as mounting your female partner for dorsal intercourse, get her worked up into a pleasant heat, run your hands through her hair, and then, when you're ready, wrap your hands in her hair and slip into anal sex while telling her how much you love her and using another woman's name. If you manage to hold on for eight seconds after that ....

I mean, I admit, I'm not much of a top, but my first reaction to your post about The Situation was to wonder under what circumstances I could tolerate nailing the guy. And, in truth, I just don't think I could receive him, as such, without laughing.

Maybe that's because musclemen in porn films always do the stereotypical, "Oh, yeah ... c'mon ... mmm!" bit that I simply cannot take seriously.
 
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Ahhh.

Well the terminologies are definitely new to me. You're a Westcoaster, and you guys have your own argot.

As for any role with The Situation, I admit, I'd struggle in taking him seriously for very long.

Though, in full disclosure, I have to say that I have a soft spot for meat-heads. I really mean it, as long as they don't overly-talk, I really lap up the dopiness. It's been my downfall. Believe it or not, I've had very few gay friends and most of my buds have been straight guys. Most straight guys not being 100% straight at all times, I've ruined a few friendships after the occasional drunken escapade (all of which--4 times, in fact--were never initiated by me; I have self control, except that one time I rode a Harley in nothing but leather chaps, coked out of my head. . . but that was just once and it was a long time ago in Phoenix).

Where was I?

Yeah. Several years ago--okay, about 14 years ago, since you pressed me on the issue. . . fuck, I'm an old man--I was at a bar and in the process of hooking-up. In that era, I was a rather youngish gay man and the thought of bottoming for anyone evoked rather negative thoughts and whatnot. But, on his testimony of being "exclusively a top" and my overwhelming desire to have him, I went along with the idea. Anyhoo, the guy was a meat-head of the meat-headiest variety (a good thing), but he was so stupid and so talkative that I really wanted to punch him in the face. But Christ almighty, he had a body and really fantastic arms (I don't have an "arm fetish"--in fact, I don't have much of an anything fetish at all, save for my decidedly overwhelming interest in male genitalia, admittedly part-in-parcel with being a homo).

I don't remember where I was going with all this. . .

OH YEAH. . . so, I ended up getting back to his place and I was really worried about getting. . . um. . . (well, you know where this was going) and it never ended up happening because he drank too much, which was fine with me because, in the end, I was starting to chicken-out. But, it was the ONLY time I divorced myself from my usual standards of sexual intercourse (or, potentially, that is) on the basis of a guy's arms. Arms are JUST that important.

Fast forward 1.5 decades and I've branched out into other sexual possibilities (on account of the fact that, well, you just don't know until you've been with the right fellow), but regardless of my usual role or desire thereof--in the end--it's the arms that seal the deal. So, whatever Mr. Situations preference, I'm sure I'd find a way to accommodate and enjoy the whole thing. Dopiness too.

~String
 
thats cool, bit like watching guitar hero though: (with the music and the different colours on different ends:p)
 
Stop ... Reading ... Now!

Stop ... Reading ... Now!
When will you ever learn?


No, really. Stop reading now.

Really.

Just freakin' stop. Do not continue reading.

Just ... stop.

Do not open the spoiler.

Last chance.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 17 Following two days of YouTube hoopla, today's saga centers on a simpler bit of technology: the cellular telephone, which allowed a Russian mother and daughter to connect for a trio of phone calls so awful that Last Days is considering writing "Nothing happened today" and moving on. But proceed we shall, armed with details from the Daily Mail, which identifies the daughter as 19-year-old Olga Moskalyova, a psychology student who, along with her stepfather, had trekked to a grassy field abutting a river in eastern Siberia when she was forced to make three of the worst phone calls in history. Call number one came after Ms. Moskalyova was accosted by a brown bear, which chased her for 70 yards before grabbing her leg. In a frantic phone call to her mother, Ms. Moskalyova explained what was happening: "Mum, the bear is eating me. Mum, it's such agony. Mum, help!" "Her mother Tatiana said that at first she thought she was joking," reports the Daily Mail. "'But then I heard the real horror and pain in Olga's voice, and the sounds of a bear growling and chewing,' she added. 'I could have died then and there from shock.'" Over the next hour, the mother received two more calls from her increasingly mauled daughter. In one, Moskalyova gasped, "Mum, the bears are back. She came back and brought her three babies. They're... eating me." In her final call, Olga Moskalyova spoke her final words: "Mum, it's not hurting anymore. I don't feel the pain. Forgive me for everything, I love you so much." Also killed that day: Moskalyova's stepfather, Igor Tsyganenkov (whom police found fatally mauled not far from his stepdaughter's body), and the three bears, which were shot dead by Emergency Services. "The double killing is the latest in a spate of bear attacks across Russia, as the hungry animals seek food in areas where people have encroached and settled on their former habitat," reports the Mail. Condolences to all.

(Schmader]

What? I warned you. When will you ever learn?
____________________

Notes:

Schmader, David. "Last Days". The Stranger. August 23, 2011. TheStranger.com. August 27, 2011. http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/last-days/Content?oid=9639141
 
tiassa that was horific, why did you post that?

anyway for something much funner

This apeared on my facebook page from the Gruen Transfer

307766_10150392925202588_20915222587_9809608_3991277_n.jpg


All i can say is what were they thinking? didnt anyone stand back and look at it?
 
Girl in hospital mistaken as their daughter

This was actually made into a movie.

A young women gets in a car accident with some friends. The friends die but she survives. Everyone believes she is her friend and with mistaken identity and bodily injuries making it difficult to tell is taken care of by a family including a boyfriend and sister who visited daily.

Meanwhile a memorial service is held for her and tombstone put into place with her name on it, while she lays in the hospital bed with unfamiliar faces calling her by a different name.

It wasn't until she was able to talk and get her memory back that she tells her so call sister , her real name.

Finally the real family is made aware that their daughter who has been buried is still alive.:eek:

Could you imagine???
 
I was just re-reading this thread and...

I have self control, except that one time I rode a Harley in nothing but leather chaps, coked out of my head. . . but that was just once and it was a long time ago in Phoenix).

Where was I?

Well, you did put on safety gear before riding....:p

Didn't your butt stick to the seat though?
 
Just One of Those Things

Just One of Those Things
Since nobody died, can we call it hilarious?


If a picture is worth a thousand words, the news out of Shimonoseki, Japan might inspire us to enumerate the whole of our profane lexicon.


Ouch! Insert blue amazement here.

Or, as the Associated Press explains:

An outing of luxury sportscar enthusiasts in Japan ended in an expensive freeway pileup — smashing a stunning eight Ferraris, a Lamborghini and two Mercedes likely worth more than $1 million together.

Police say they believe the accident Sunday was touched off when the driver of one of the Ferraris tried to change lanes and hit the median barrier. He spun across the freeway, and the other cars collided while trying to avoid hitting his car ....

.... Police declined to comment on the total amount of damage, but said some of the vehicles were beyond repair.

NTV quoted the driver of one of the tow trucks brought in to clear the scene as saying it was the most expensive crash site he had ever seen.

Fourteen cars. Ten minor injuries, namely cuts and bruises. Is it okay to laugh? Or is there too much schadenfreude involved, making humor an act of barbaric bigotry against luxury car enthusiasts?

After all, this sort of thing is going to happen eventually, and it seems yesterday was the day. And while there are plenty who will mourn the craftsmanship of fine cars damaged in such a luxurious clusterdiddle, it's also hard to shake one's head sadly without some grimace or grunt that suggests quiet amusement.

Maybe I'm just evil.
____________________

Notes:

Associated Press. "8 Ferraris, Lamborghini and 2 Mercedes smashed in pricey freeway pileup in Japan". The Washington Post. December 4, 2011. WashingtonPost.com. December 5, 2011. http://www.washingtonpost.com/world...eeway-pileup/2011/12/05/gIQAhNQ1UO_story.html
 
Poopadelica

Don't F@ck With Zung
Hockey is a dirty game, but ....


Barry Petchesky, writing for Deadspin, tells you all you need to know in order to keep reading:

Earlier today, the most intriguing athlete bio in the history of athlete bios made the rounds. Zung Nguyen, a 37-year old defenseman for a Boston-area men's hockey league, became an instant legend for this single sentence:

"PLAYER KICKED OUT OF LEAGUE FOR DEFECATING IN OPPONENT'S GLOVE FOLLOWING A FIGHT ON THE ICE."​

Carry on, carry on, 'cause nothing really matters.
____________________

Notes:

Petchesky, Barry. "How A Senior League Hockey Fight Ended With One Player Pooping In An Opponent’s Glove". Deadspin. December 15, 2011. Deadspin.com. December 18, 2011. http://deadspin.com/5868584/
 
Freedom's Luck

Happy F@cking New Year!
You know, one of those things that just doesn't happen ....


There's ... not much to say.

A 12-year-old west Florida boy apparently struck by a bullet fired skyward during a New Year's Eve celebration is improving, but remains in serious condition, authorities said Tuesday.

Overnight, his condition was upgraded from critical to serious, said Larry McKinnon of the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office.

The bullet is still lodged in the boy's head, and doctors are working to control the swelling around his brain. Until the bullet is removed, detectives cannot compare it to other bullets to help determine a possible suspect in the shooting, said McKinnon.

Diego Duran, 12, was sitting in the front yard of his Ruskin, Florida, home watching fireworks about 1 a.m. Sunday when he fell to the ground, bleeding from the nose and eyes, McKinnon said.

The victim's mother drove him to South Bay Hospital in Sun City Center, where doctors determined that a gunshot had gone through the top of the boy's head. The child was then transported to Tampa General Hospital, where he was in critical condition Sunday afternoon.


(CNN)

Don't call it a tragic accident. Call it Lucky Freedom.
____________________

Notes:

CNN Wire Staff. "Florida boy injured by celebratory gunfire is improving". CNN. January 3, 2011. CNN.com. January 4, 2011. http://www.cnn.com/2012/01/03/us/florida-celebratory-gunfire/index.html
 
SEALing the Deal

SEALing the Deal
Navy SEAL dies trying to impress woman


There is probably a moral to the story:

A Navy SEAL who accidentally shot himself in the head early Thursday morning in Pacific Beach died Saturday at a hospital, Navy officials said.

The Navy identified him as Petty Officer 3rd Class Gene "Geno" Clayton, Jr., 22, from Ohio. He is survived by his parents, Gene and Kimberly Clayton, of Ohio, and three sisters ....

.... Police said Clayton had gone to a bar and brought a woman back to his apartment, where at least one roommate was sleeping. He was showing several guns to the woman, and when she asked him to put them away, he told her it was safe.

He put a pistol to his head, believing it was unloaded, and pulled the trigger, firing a round into his head, police said.


(Repard)

Condolences, of course.
____________________

Notes:

Repard, Pauline. "SEAL dies after accidental gunshot". San Diego Union-Tribune. January 7, 2012. UTSanDiego.com. January 9, 2012. http://www.utsandiego.com/news/2012/jan/07/seal-dies-after-accidental-gunshot/
 
Thanks for Letting Us Know ... Or Maybe Not

Thanks for Letting Us Know ... Or Maybe Not
Stop ... reading ... now!


File under things we never really wanted to know. To the other, I made the mistake of reading it, so I'm going to offer you the same opportunity.

Let me preface this by recalling the occasion when people reported finding syringes in their Pepsi cans. The company responded that the soft drink was so acidic as to sterilize the things, so while they were embarrassed, nobody was ever in any danger.

The question of using Coca Cola to polish chrome is not so spectacular. The question of using it to clean stains out of your toilet ... er, right.

Are you still reading?

I mean, with that setup, you know what's coming is a doozy.

Stop reading now!

(You were warned.)

In 2009, oil company worker Ronald Ball said he opened a Mountain Dew from his firm's vending machine only to gag on a dead mouse inside. His attorney told ABC News that Ball stuck the mouse in a Styrofoam cup and displayed it to his co-workers. "He immediately called Pepsi," said attorney Samantha Unsell, so the company could stop production on the assembly line that allegedly snagged a mouse. She said a Pepsi representative came to collect the dead mouse. But the evidence had apparently since been destroyed.

Later, Ball sued the soft drink company, seeking damages in excess of $50,000. Now as it seeks to dismiss the lawsuit, Pepsi argued Ball couldn't possibly have gagged on a mouse because Mountain Dew's powerful ingredients would have dissolved the rodent's body before the can ever reached the vending machine. By then, Pepsi's experts insisted, it would have become "a jelly-like substance." In other words, mouse jam in a can. Yum! (If you bought six, would that be a "rat-pack?")


(Bury)

I just don't see how Pepsi's argument is comforting.

I mean, we know carbonated soft drinks aren't all that good for a person. Some would go so far as to say they're outright bad for people.

Powerful enough to dissolve mice! That's not quite what I would call a winning advert slogan.

We hear all sorts of things about what carbonated soft drinks do to our teeth, or our stomachs.

But this ....

I don't know. I haven't consumed the stuff in years simply because I'm with Homer Simpson: "Blech! Ew! Sheesh, I'll take a crab juice!"

And if the taste isn't bad enough, well, mouse jelly ought to do the trick, right?
____________________

Notes:

Bury, Chris. "Mice No Match for Mountain Dew". ABC News. January 3, 2012. ABCNews.Go.com. January 10, 2012. http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/01/mice-no-match-for-mountain-dew/
 
What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor?

What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor?
Something about the nation's "best and brightest" goes here ....


Having done many stupid things while drunk, I still cannot fathom the awkwardness:

An intoxicated sailor who walked into the wrong apartment in Bremerton, urinated on the floor and then climbed into bed with an 80-year-old woman probably won't face criminal charges, according to the Kitsap County Sheriff's Office.

The 21-year-old, identified as Dalton C. Pierson, was drinking and playing video games at a friend's apartment in 7600 block of Vineyards Lane Northeast early Sunday when he left and mistakenly walked into a neighbor's home, according to the Sheriff's Office ....

.... Evelyn Whitney said she had been fast asleep when the stranger climbed into bed with her.

She screamed and asked him what he was doing, according to the sheriff's report. Pierson answered, "passing out" ....


(Clarridge)

Yeah. The young sailor is stationed at NB Kitsap in Bangor, Washington; prosecutors do not expect to be filing charges. The elderly Mrs. Whitney says she feels better after the incident after Pierson returned to her home in the custody of his supervising officer: Pierson was ordered to sit quietly while Whitney read him the riot act to her satisfaction.

We can expect, of course, that this episode will be included in Navy legends told to future generations of sailors.
____________________

Notes:

Clarridge, Christine. "Drunken sailor opens wrong door". The Seattle Times. January 30, 2012. SeattleTimes.NWSource.com. January 31, 2012. http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2017379984_drunkensailor31m.html
 
The Few, the Proud, the ... say what?!

The Few, the Proud, the ... say what?!
The "best and brightest" ... (unfortunately) continued



"Naïve mistake": Just say, "Whoops!" and move on.

It's just one of those things.

Or, as Julie Watson explains for the Associated Press:

The Marine Corps on Thursday once again did damage control after a photograph surfaced of a sniper team in Afghanistan posing in front of a flag with a logo resembling that of the notorious Nazi SS — a special unit that murdered millions of Jews, gypsies and others.

The Corps said in a statement that using the symbol was not acceptable, but the Marines in the photograph taken in September 2010 will not be disciplined because investigators determined it was a naïve mistake.

The Marines believed the SS symbol was meant to represent sniper scouts and never intended to be associated with a racist organization, said Maj. Gabrielle Chapin, a spokeswoman at Camp Pendleton, where the Marines were based.

"I don't believe that the Marines involved would have ever used any type of symbol associated the Nazi Germany military criminal organization that committed mass atrocities in WWII," Chapin said. "It's not within who we are as Marines."

The Corps has used the incident as a training tool to talk to troops about what symbols are acceptable after it became aware of the photograph last November, Chapin said.

The image has since surfaced on an Internet blog, sparking widespread outrage and calls for a full investigation and punishment, including bringing those in the photograph and anyone who condoned it to court martial.

To the one, perhaps courts martial are a bit harsh as a solution. To the other, these are "The Few, the Proud, the Marines". And perhaps we might add "ignorant" to the list, too, as the explanation is apparently that not one of the U.S. Marines in the photograph had ever heard of the Schutzstaffell, more infamously known as the SS.

schutzstaffellogo.png

Legendary evil: The logo of the notorious Nazi Schutzstaffell.

Or perhaps that is a rush to judgment. The Corps' main efforts in World War II were in the Pacific Theatre, so perhaps there is no reason why the sniper scouts should be expected to recognize a symbol of such infamy.

Additionally, the photograph originally surfaced on the website of a weapons contractor called Knight's Armament, of Titusville, Florida. While the company has not responded to Associated Press inquiries, we can safely presume that nobody at KAC, which was founded in 1982, had ever heard of the Schutzstaffell, either.

In the end, though, the question of courts martial would seem to be a question of how badly this group just tarnished the Corps. And the Corps has decided that this is not embarrassing enough. For the rest of us, a "facepalm" ought to suffice.

Rabbi Marvin Hier, founder of the Simon Wiesenthal Center, headquartered in Los Angeles, said he does not buy the explanation that posing with the flag was an innocent mistake and insisted the American public has a right to know what happened.

"If you look at any book on the Nazi period, this is the dreaded symbol of the SS, and to have a Marine Corps unit adopt it and put it beside the American flag when 200,000 Americans died to free the world of that dreaded symbol is just beyond the pale," he said.


(Watson)

The few, the proud, the ... holy flirking schitzel!

As a frequent critic of the American military, I actually feel badly for the commanding ranks, as I cannot imagine the chill that rippled down their spines when they first saw that photo.

("Sir! I have no idea what the 'SS' is, sir!")
____________________

Notes:

Watson, Julie. "Marines: Nazi flag was mistaken for their own". The Christian Science Monitor. February 9, 2012. CSMonitor.com. February 9, 2012. http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Latest.../Marines-Nazi-flag-was-mistaken-for-their-own
 
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