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Superman: A mythical super alien that happens to look like Christopher Reeve. Supposedly, he visited earth to try their kebabs and then discovered that the chili sauce gave him incredible super powers and invincibility. The only thing that saps his strength is green salad, which is why he ended up hating kebabs, as without salad, it's just burnt meat in a pita.

Superman decided to use the pseudonym of Clark Kent to hide his identity so that he could mix more freely with the local crumpet, trouble is he didn't realise that both Clark, and Kent, are actually gay names so he remained a virgin; even gays think he's too gay and he is, he's a poof!

As for Superman, well, Superman is such a ponce, in his poncey blue and red suit, and that stupid cape, not to mention those fucking Calvin Kleins worn over his pantie hose...fucking ponce!

Superman's friends

Lois lane

Lana Lang

Jimmy Olsen

Superman's foes

Lex Luthor

Ali Mustapha