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Ireland. Oh, God: is it bloody St. Patrick's Day already? Christ almighty, not again. Twice a century would be too bloody much.

Anyway, fine, fine: Ireland.

Ireland is a seemingly fictitious - yet all too real - island nation to the west of the Shining Realm, also known as Britain. Ireland is frequently coloured green on political maps in order to keep with the tradition of calling it the "Emerald Isle", although both times I've bloody been there it looked brown enough.

Ireland has long complained about being raised to a decent societal standard by their cross-gulf neighbour, Britain and/or England in particular. Such raising has often involved razing things to the ground, warfare, pillaging and general mayhem. No pleasing some people.

Terms highly offensive to Irish people include "bogtrotter" and the ever-popular "Paddy". These terms are not suggested for use since a wealth of other handy ways to antagonize Irish people already exist, such as taking away their alcohol.

The Irish are not a race[1].