Great Patriotic War
From Science Encyclopedia
|Footnote: This article was not written by an East Korean propagandist, and is a totally objective account of what really happened|
The Great Patriotic War was a conflict between the magnificent and prosperous nation of East Korea (lead by the champion of the people - Geoffp), and the treacherous enemy of freedom and sovereignty known as the United Sovereign Lemon Republic.
The great patriotic war was an epic struggle lasting two long days, and resulted in a glorious victory for the people of East Korea
Course to East Korea's Success
The Great Leader Stands Strong
The road leading to the USLR's ruin started with an incident which has been named the moment of infamy It was during this moment when a USLR villain orchestrated a vile unprovoked attack upon the
enormous sized extremely massive pride of every East Korean citizen. In it's defense, the Great Leader proclaimed that this injustice should not go unpunished, and declared war on the USLR.
The Enemy Receives Just Retribution
Ten minutes after the great leader announces the declaration, 7 of East Korea's bravest patriots volunteer to carry out a strike against the first of many nefarious USLR insurgents. On March 5th at 5 o'clock pm, they successfully defended their nation.
The insurgent received a bullet for every letter of the Great Leader's name (including the added blank space between the "Geoff" and the "P"). Coincidentally, 293 other bullet holes peppered the area surrounding the insurgent's body, but they were planted there by enemies of the people.
The Tragic Loss of the 7 Heroes
Following the death of the insurgent, the evil nation of USLR retaliated by brutally slaying the 7 heroes, in addition to 293 innocent East Korean bystanders. Each innocent East Korean bystander had no chance of survival, as they were totally unarmed and not carrying fully loaded QBU-88 sniper rifles. The great nation of East Korea will never forget their sacrifice.
Intervention by the People's East Korean Army
Even though the war lasted two days, the poorly managed and weak nation of USLR - whose dictator is not as smart or wonderful as the great leader - continued to oppose the will of East Korea and it's people by engaging in small insignificant skirmishes over the next 7 years and 363 days.
Reluctantly, the great leader found it necessary to deploy PEKA with the intention of cleaning up the small remaining pockets of USLR insurgency.