a comment was made to me that because my partner lost her first fetus within a couple of weeks that we should see a GP alot faster next time. My question is what difference would that make? my understanding is that (and reproduction behond basic first aid and delivery is very weak) at that stage its all down to the mothers body and immune system working out if its a viable fetus or not and you just have to trust her immune system to work out if its a "good" fetus or not
Losing a fetus is a part of human life, sadly. The best you can hope for is a better result next time. The blame game is pointless, since we have no control.
see that was my thought, it oviously was non viable (as judged by her immune system), PB was upset (i dont blame her, you spend so much time being so rigorus with birth control and then when you WANT to get pregant it doesnt work) but i wasnt invested in what amounts to a blood clot. No my confusion was when this women (health care worker) said that if you lose it so early it means next time she is pregant she should go straight to GP. I just dont understand that because as far as i know there IS no treatments that early in a pregancy. Later term there are things which can be done but early on?
Asguard: I'm sorry to hear about PB's miscarriage. Mostly peace of mind, since they can do an ultrasound and look at how things are progressing. Depending on age, somewhere between 1 in 4 and 1 in 3 preganancies end in spontaneous miscarriage, most of them in the first 10 weeks or so. There are many reasons this can happen. One of the most common is chromosomal abnormalities in the foetus itself. Which is nobody's fault, by the way. It's a little different to a blood clot. It was a human foetus that had the potential to grow into a little human being. Having a miscarriage is not the same as having a period. I think that's basically right. Nothing much can be done in the early weeks. But having had one miscarriage, it will probably be quite nerve-wracking for PB next time around, especially in the first few weeks. It doesn't hurt to see an obstetrician early on. I think these things tend to hit women harder emotionally than men. It's they who have all the bodily changes, the hormones, the feeling of pregnancy, the morning sickness etc. To men, the early stages of pregnancy are almost a theoretical thing. There's the idea of a baby coming, but it doesn't seem quite real yet.
James concidering I did already know that statistic I chose to keep thinking about it as a blood clot, there are times detachment is a much better position for your own mental health. I wasn't expressing a medical or scientific position but rather an emotional one.
sorry to hear that asguard, but i found out it's true what they say, that it happens a lot. in my early 30's i went to the gyno because i was experiencing pain, and had an ovarian cyst in the past, to get things checked out. just about any time you visit the gyno for anything other than a routine pap, they give you a pregancy test, and mine came back positive. i was very surprised because i had been on the pill, though i admit to not being great at taking it religiously. they asked me to come back in a week, and during that week, i got used to the idea of being pregnant. when i went back, they screened again, and my pregnancy hormone levels were declining fast, indicating a miscarriage, which i did the next day, and i cried. the thing is, that if i hadn't gone to the doctor for something totally unrelated, i would have never known i was pregnant. i didn't keep track of my periods that closely, and even if i had, would only have been a few days late. my doctor told me that early miscarriages happen quite frequently, and that is the case, that most women don't even know they were ever pregnant to begin with. he also told me that for as many things that have to come together just perfectly before conception occurs and is viable, he as a doctor, is shocked that anyone ever gets pregnant. he says it's a miracle. so if you're trying, don't get discouraged, and keep trying...it's normal.
i was actually quite shocked it happened at all first off. I had bet it would take 2 years at least but as i said before i know the liklyhood of early misscariage which is why i delibratly kept my emotional investment low, it is something i despratly want but im also realistic that it will take time. As i said though PB has spent so many years being so rigiorus with contraceptives fearing that she would become pregant if she missed 1 dose that its hard for her to emotionally proccess that when your trying it takes time. And so yes she was quite upset when she lost it but there is nothing that can be done, we just have to trust that her immune system knows what its doing and isnt overly selective as sadly happens to some couples (for whatever reason the immune system rejects all embroyos from those couples)
does it normally take that long (2 years)? is that a reasonable estimate? i have no idea, it just seems like so many women around me get pregnant if they so much as look at a guy the right way. when my husband and i first got married, we both expected to get preggers right away. i had never tried to get pregnant before so i had no idea how long it might take. a year and a half later...i'm pregnant. only 1 month along and having faith that little eli will hang in there for the long haul. i know it's hard but try not to get discouraged. i guess that's more for your partner really. i was the opposite of you. i thought i'd get pregnant right away, and then over the past year and a half, i must admit i had pretty much given up hope. seems like that's the way it always happens...just when you give up trying...that's when it happens.
My condolences Asguard, to yourself and your partner PB. Every conception is a miracle of life potential, and for that reason do we mourn if that potential never gains the opportunity of realization, yet we must accept that nature has a purpose when loss occurs. Though both partners contribute equally to the genetic make-up, the man is at arms length during the pregnancy, and usually becomes more emotionally involved as the trimesters progress. (This is logical, given the percentage of miscarriages that nature has factored.) The woman is very much engaged from the onset because of the dramatic activity demanded by her body to accommodate the early stage of pregnancy. An early miscarriage is the loss of potential for both partners, and the woman is further compromised because her hormones are in a melt-down phase as a result. The man is then equally emotionally vulnerable to pain, and his compromise, after accepting the logistics of the loss, lies in watching his partner go through a state of distress that he cannot entirely know as a male, and feeling somewhat conflicted by his inability to do anything about her distress. Time heals and the future holds all potential. May your shared wish come to be. Kind regards.....
Well bro, been there, done that, wife was pretty bummed for a while, but we do science in our house. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! My condolences, but my response was much as yours. As I recall, about 80% of pregnancies spontaneously terminate and a significant number of "successful" full term live births are seriously deformed. Additionally, about 2 out of 3 couples are infertile. We are/were not though, and have a 19 YO son with shoulder length hair and a Rastafarian hat who plays WOW to 3 AM. He is my treasure, I love him to pieces and tell him that stuff often.
It can vary a lot among different people. I think the general advice to younger women is that if you've tried for 12 months and haven't got pregnant, you should start investigating what the problem might be. For older women (over about 35), reduce that to 6 months, because they have less time to muck around with the biological clock ticking. I think there is such a thing as trying too hard. A lot of people report that it seems to happen when you're more relaxed about the whole thing.
it would be interesting to investigate wether this is why women who seem to get pregant by looking at a guy and have to be very rigiorus with birth control all of a sudden find its not happerning when they actually TRY to have children. I would love to see if there have been any studies done in this area, concidering the link between stress and the immune system, and the link they just found (the report only came out within the last month i belive, i wish i had caught the name of the report so i could look it up but it was a radio interview) between a womens immune system and pregancy (note below) it would seem plausable that stress could have a big impact on pregancy NOTE: previously it was belived that the whole reproductive system was designed to keep the immune system away from the fetus, it was belived that was why the placenta existed as it is. Acording to this new study this was dead wrong and that its the immune system which controls pregancy from start to finish. It is constantly involved in monitoring the fetus for major genetic flaws which would make it unviable and if it doesnt like what it finds aborting the fetus. One future outcome from this resurch will be (the resurcher hopes) to help couples which seem to lose every embroy that is inplanted. It is belived that the immune system in these cases is to picky and if it could be dialed back a notch that these couples could concive perfectly healthy children, the risk is in playing around with it before the doctors\scientists know EXACTLY what they are doing and ending up with compleatly unviable fetuses surviving which should never have happened
If my wife did that, I also would be very entertained. This because her ***censored*** would be very easy to access, and I like to ***censored*** a lot. We have been married for 22 years and I love her very much, so I figure I can ***censored*** whenever she give me the opportunity! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Uh...she just said to me once "I am bored, lets have a baby." It took 2 "tries". :shrug: I know, we were very lucky. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
if she was only a couple of weeks along, how did you she was even pregnant? Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
i would have thought that was ovious, those tests are acurate to around 1 week now and she was around 6 weeks.
Its not obvious to me since my last pregnancy test was almost 14 yrs ago. They have apparently gotten better since then. And you said a couple weeks, which I understand to be 2, not 6. Is 6 weeks the cut off between an embryo and a fetus? and your wife has my condolences.
I don't know, why? Actually its 2 or 6 depending how you measure it. Historically its been measured from your first missed period (Hense 9 month pregnancy). Concidering the acuracy of the pregnancy tests now it can be measured from conception (10 months).
