If a teen girl says some shit like 'When I have kids' or 'I definitely want kids' people's reaction ranges from neutral to an encouraging smile and some advice such as 'Make sure you have a good job/nice husband first.' If you say you don't want kids, people get really pissy. 'That's what you think' 'You'll change your mind' etc. It's enough to make me walk into my doctor's surgery and demand that hysterectomy I've been wanting to have done for my feminine issues RIGHT NOW, at gunpoint. Why the double standard there? Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Thats just the way ppl work. I have experienced the same thing throughout my life. Everytime I insist I don't want kids ppl always say "Oh, some day you will" or "It's just a phase" or "You'll get over it". Annoying as it is, in some part they are right. It wasn't until recently that I've started considering children, but that doesn't mean I HAVE to. There is a double standard. Women are expected to want children and if you vocalize the fact that you might not, ppl get all bothered and uncomfortable.
It's the double standard. Other girls/women are allowed their life plans and they are respected, but mine is dismissed as just a phase or my not knowing my own mind and impulses. I wouldn't mind if girls who say they want children and the cold, abnormal mutants like me were treated with equal dismissal Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Theres the possibility that you will regret it when its too late to have children, thats probably all. I dont know if people are upset just because a woman doesnt want kids, just that a woman can change her mind suddenly instantly. Like my wife, who after 10 years decided she hate my guts haha
I hate when adults are right. When people say I'm too young to understand I give them that, because how would I know? But I totally understand being annoyed with them people telling you what you will and won't do.
I don't always give them that. They don't know you like you know yourself. I heard accounts in an article on voluntary childlessness from people who had known since being a young teen that they didn't want children. People told them they'd change and want children. They were wrong.
There's nothing wrong with not wanting children at whatever stage you're at in your life but why go burning bridges and get a hysterectomy in case you change your mind?
If I were ever to change my mind, I'd adopt a kid. I will definitely never bear a biological child in case it was a profound autistic like my brother.
seconded. so you've set your mind to not change your mind. the first mind might change. as in "you" will not be "you" anymore, i set my mind as a kid to never dismiss a cartoon whatever it was, as opposed to adults who find some boring. yeah well, it's either the cartoons aren't as they used to be or i'm transforming into an adult. ahh, screw it all:geek: if i just get my hands on a kid who says cartoons are eternally enjoyable...Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Maybe I will change my mind about not wanting kids. I don't know. I have some 20-odd years to have one of those estrogen overloads and go out and have me a screaming, pooping hypertension inducer baby. I fail to see why I would change my mind about not having one of my own in case it were severely autistic, though. What exactly is good about having one of those? The peeing your pants aged 16, perhaps? The sitting on the sofa making odd noises and occasionally toying with your anus and genitalia instead of playing football or driving around listening to Eminem far too loud, like a normal teen boy?? Why the fuck would I change my mind about that?
That's true they don't me, but I also don't know my future self. I know 13 year old me probably wouldn't even recognize who I am now. If someone has gone through this transition themselves then they have a leg up on me. You probably won't change your mind, but who knows you might :shrug:. At 20 my father was certain that he'd become a US general and he do anything it took to get there. He was well on his way, but well he changed his mind :shrug:.
Film actor Helen Mirren is the only example I can recall of a women who claims to have "no maternal instincts whatsoever". She has never regretted not having children. http://www.exposay.com/helen-mirren...ors-guild-awards---arrivals/p/3514/0/?j=21540
yeah well, i...-i don't know whether to say "i used to be" or "i am"- a big opposer of settling with a family, i certainly wasn't cut out for the responsibilities, i wanted to live my own life, its ups and downs, do what i think is right without any compromise or fear. which you can't afford when you have a family, you've got mouths to feed and walls and roofs to provide. that, can be used as a leverage on you, i wanted to be free od that. sadly, i see things a bit differently now -don't worry i don't see myself marrying anytime anyhow yet- but i can imagine certain conditions and circumstances which may show up in the future in which getting married wouldn't be that illogical to choose. at least, i still understand my previous POV, some of my POVs from when i was young i can't even understand, it's like "what was that guy thinking?" on the other hand, take it easy on your bro, he didn't choose to be born autistic you knowPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image! again seconded, where were you hiding all this wisdom marie?
Perhaps you need to talk to more people. There are plenty of people who don't want to have kids, or who otherwise have very conservative or restrictive views on having kids. Also, I don't think there is a double standard. You wish to be entitled to your way of life. Others wish to be entitled to their way of life. If the two ways of life are not the same or compatible, there is tension. Which is what you have been experiencing.
Duh, I'm not angry at my brother for being autistic. I'm angry at people who want to convince me that I will someday change my mind and potentially have an autistic zombie of my own.
