When you are in a long term relationship with someone, be it marriage or something similar, do you think it's better to lovers and friends? Or no? I've heard that you shouldn't be best friends with your partner or spouse because it would interfere with your sex life, but my mother thinks that your friendship is the most important aspect of your relationship and nothing should come before it. What do you think? What aspect of a relationship is the most important to maintain? friendship, sex life, etc...
Your mother is correct - friendship is THE most important aspect of all !!Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
i think your mother is right. remember: love is friendship that has taken flight. all of them to a certain degree, i would value my friends above all else.
During dating, not fucking other people if you are going to get married. When married not fucking with other people either.
cutsie no single facit of a relationship is more important than any other, sexual apitite may fluctuate but paying atention to this side of the relationship is just as important as conecting intelectually as friends. As an experminent work out how often you normally have sex in your relationship and then just one day (without telling your partner why) stop dead. See how long this goes on until you start seeing issues arising in the other areas of the relationship friendship is just as important, short term its easy to sleep with someone you have an animal atraction to but if your not friends long term the relationship breaks down acording to sternberg's typology of love, consumate love (mature, married type of love) is only possable when all three of passion, commitment and intimacy are there. If we compare this to romantic love this lacks the commitment but scores really high on passion and intimacy. i was trying to find the section on divorce but i cant find it at the moment
Since you're a woman, Marie, I'd strongly suggest that you seek a damned good friend before you worry about sex. When you're old, ugly, wrinkled, sagging and gray, you might be much better off with a friend ...huh? Now men, on the other hand, should consider exactly the opposite ...he should seek a woman that's good looking and sexy. Then he can enjoy her sexually until she turns old, ugly, wrinkled, sagging and gray! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Baron Max
I've got a long time before that happens, if I take after my mother (or father too I suppose). I read in a magazine that friendship can ruin a sexual relationship, but my mother said it's better to be friends first and lovers second because you may not always be "head over heels" in love with someone and if you aren't really friends there is nothing there to keep you together when you do go through slumps in your relationship. She told me to stop reading magazines. Not to long ago I thought that my relationship was doomed in the future, because my boyfriend and I have never had an actual fight and apparently the magazine I was reading says that not healthy. :shrug:
How much time a week do you spend screwing? 10 hours? 3 hours? How much time a week do you spend interacting outside of that? The point is, sure sex is important---it's a joke to say otherwise. But do you really want a long term relationship JUST with someone who's good in bed?
bens right, Besides that, what was the source for the magaizens artical? what was there sample size? methodology? ect Most stuff you read in mags is purly made up, its a load of crap. If you actually want to study relationships get some psych texts and see what THEY have to say about it. C Peterson's looking forward through the lifespan is a good one to start with but look through them to there resurch and sources and check out the sources BEHIND the texts as well Even the australian goverment has put out guides to relationships and i will try to find a link to some. One is really good in that it goes through what you should have done at each step of the relationship before moving on to the next one For instance before getting engaged (rember this is from memory) have you: lived together had sex had a joint bank acount talked about life plans, kids ect
I'm the type of person, I forgot what the word is, but it's when you read or hear the symptoms of some illness and then you all of the sudden have those symptoms even though nothing is wrong with you. I read a lot, when I was younger my mother used to hide the medical book from me (I would read it for fun). I know the data in the magazines probably isn't valid, but once I start thinking about something... I'm never worried about my relationship until I start reading stuff.
hypercondriact?Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! so stop reading stuff about itPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Its why i get so irritated with those "sms us to find out if your lovers cheating" things because even if they do it as a couple for a laugh it can put the idea into the partners head and then the trust is almost impossable to get back Trust me cutsie, my sources are ALOT more valid than some silly magazine's are. Companionship love, passionate love and compasionate love are all EQUALLY important if you wish a relationship to last. If you ignore any of these faciates then the relationship WILL fail but if your happy with it, your partners happy with it and your open with each other when your NOT happy about something then you have nothing to worry aboutPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Depends what type of sex you want. And what type of lifestyle too. But does it matter? Just another fucking experience.
I may be treated with derision and howls of protest on this one, but when 'Harry met Sally (the movie) hits the mark. Sternberg's typology is right too, although I would add companionship as a fourth leg on the chair. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Did anyone ever give an explanation of why, exactly, friendship is supposed to be bad for sex? Unless you're wanting some sort of freaky sadomasochistic activity, I don't see why friendship would interfere.
HA, trust me friendship doesnt get in the way of S&MPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image! As i said in another thread PB and i are COMPLEATLY different in the bedroom from the rest of our livesPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
My wife and I would have dissolved our marriage long ago, had it not been for our friendship. Love is something you choose to do, and involves consideration for your partner. Friendship is a piece of love. In marriage, physical love is the other piece, hopefully.
I have lots and lots of friends. I only want 1 lover. Its the loving part that keeps me interested, not the soul searching talks.
higgamus hoggamus women monogamous hoggamus higgamus men are polygamous From my childhood, I don't know where it comes from, but it's generally true. Sexually women want one man, men dream of the new experience. Occupy a man's mind, you'll have his loins easily. Occupy only his loins, he'll go in search of intellectual stimulation, in whatever form. Football widows, online gaming widows, Golf widows, even work widows all experience this phenomenon.
The article said that being "BFFs" with your boyfriend/spouse could kill your sex life because well people you are friends with you tend not be attracted to or something to that effect I can't remember. So I asked my mother and she disagreed, saying that friendship keeps your bond stronger than just being one's "lover". She said that you share more experiences and have more things in common. You can't always be romantic all of the time and in every situation and some times you don't want to be. When you aren't in a romantic mood it's more fun to hang around a friend than it is to be around a lover you aren't in the mood for. I was having trouble deciding if my mother's opinion was valid, as she didn't date very many guys before getting married at 20. But in the other hand even though she got married young, too young according to most, she has been happily married ever since. So she should know how to make a marriage last right? She says that her husband is one of her best friends. :shrug:
