Poem to MOM My son came home from school one day, With a smirk upon his face. He decided he was smart enough, To put me in my place. 'Guess what I learned in Civics Two, that's taught by Mr. Wright? It's all about the laws today, The 'Children's Bill of Rights.' It says I need not clean my room, Don't have to cut my hair No one can tell me what to think, Or speak, or what to wear. I have freedom from religion, And regardless what you say, I don't have to bow my head, And I sure don't have to pray. I can wear earrings if I want, And pierce my tongue & nose. I can read & watch just what I like, Get tattoos from head to toe. And if you ever spank me, I'll charge you with a crime. I'll back up all my charges, With the marks on my behind. Don't you ever touch me, My body's only for my use, Not for your hugs and kisses, that's just more child abuse. Don't preach about your morals, Like your Mama did to you. That's nothing more than mind control, And it's illegal too! Mom, I have these children's rights, So you can't influence me, Or I'll call Children's Services Division, Better known as C.S.D.' Mom's Reply and Thoughts Of course my first instinct was To toss him out the door. But the chance to teach him a lesson Made me think a little more. I mulled it over carefully, I couldn't let this go. A smile crept upon my face, he's messing with a pro. Next day I took him shopping At the local Goodwill Store. I told him, 'Pick out all you want, there's shirts & pants galore. I've called and checked with C.S.D ... Who said they didn't care If I bought you K-Mart shoes Instead of those Nike Airs. I've canceled that appointment To take your driver's test. The C.S.D. Is unconcerned So I'll decide what's best. ' I said 'No time to stop and eat, Or pick up stuff to munch. And tomorrow you can start to learn To make your own sack lunch. Just save the raging appetite, And wait till dinner time. We're having liver and onions, A favorite dish of mine.' He asked 'Can I please rent a movie, To watch on my VCR?' 'Sorry, but I sold your TV, For new tires on my car. I also rented out your room, You'll take the couch instead. The C.S.D. requires Just a roof over your head. Your clothing won't be trendy now, I'll choose what we eat. That allowance that you used to get, Will buy me something neat. I'm selling off your jet ski, Dirt-bike & roller blades. Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights', It's in effect today! Hey hot shot, are you crying, Why are you on your knees? Are you asking God to help you out, Instead of C.S.D..?' Send to all people that have teenagers, have already raised teenagers, have children who will soon be teenagers or those who will be parents someday OR ANYONE WHO'D JUST GET A LAUGH MOM (Mean Old Mother)
The following message from a law student is brilliant in its conceptual analogy of basic political disparity. Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile, slate it up to irreconcilable differences, and go on our own ways. Here is a model dissolution agreement: Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes. We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell (you are however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move them). We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's, and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood. You can make nice with Iran, Palestine, and France and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protestors. When our allies or way of life are under assault, we'll provide them job security. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian Values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You can have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying the bill. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find. You can give everyone healthcare, if you can find any practicing doctors that are still practicing? We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World. We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty its best shot. Since it often so offends you we'll keep our History, our Name, and our Flag. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR on who will need whose help in 15 years. Sincerely, John J. Wall Law Student and an American P.S. Please take Barbra Streisand with you.
The two party system???? Remember Lee Iacocca, the VP at Ford credited with the birth of the Mustang, the man who rescued Chrysler Corporation from their death throes, and the owner of the famous quote 'Lead, follow, or get out of the way'? Well, he's back! He has a new book, and here are some excerpts. Lee Iacocca writes: 'Am I the only guy in this country who's fed up with what's happening? Where the hell is our outrage? We should be screaming bloody murder. We've got a gang of clueless bozos steering our ship of state right over a cliff, we've got corporate gangsters stealing us blind, and we can't even clean up after a hurricane much less build a hybrid car.. But instead of getting mad, everyone sits around and nods their heads when the politicians say, 'Stay the course' Stay the course? You've got to be kidding. This is America , not the damned 'Titanic' I'll give you a sound bite: 'Throw all the bums out!' You might think I'm getting senile, that I've gone off my rocker, and maybe I have. But someone has to speak up. I hardly recognize this country anymore. The most famous business leaders are not the innovators but the guys in handcuffs. While we're fiddling in Iraq , the Middle East is burning and nobody seems to know what to do. And the press is waving 'pom-poms' instead of asking hard questions. That's not the promise of the ' America ' my parents and yours traveled across the ocean for. I've had enough. How about you?[Sounds like it came out of Atlas Shrugged] I'll go a step further. You can't call yourself a patriot if you're not outraged. This is a fight I'm ready and willing to have. The Biggest 'C' is Crisis ! Leaders are made, not born. Leadership is forged in times of crisis. It's easy to sit there with your feet up on the desk and talk theory. Or send someone else's kids off to war when you've never seen a battlefield yourself. It's another thing to lead when your world comes tumbling down. George Bush, Dick Cheney and who it this Bozo coming up next? One of the most Liberal Idiots in the U. S. Senate and he is talking about disarming America . I can't believe the American people are seeing what he is about to do to this country. May God have mercy on us all. On September 11, 2001, we needed a strong leader more than any other time in our history. We needed a steady hand to guide us out of the ashes. A Hell of a Mess. So here's where we stand. We're immersed in a bloody war with no plan for winning and no plan for leaving. We're running the biggest deficit in the history of the country. We're losing the manufacturing edge to Asia , while our once-great Companies are all moving offshore. We're getting slaughtered by health care costs. Gas prices are skyrocketing, and nobody in power has a coherent energy policy. Our schools are the worst in the world. Our borders are like sieves. The middle class is being squeezed every which way. These are times that cry out for leadership and we are getting ready to put the most Liberal Senator in the U. S. Senate in as our next President because we want to be fair and elect someone just because of his race. We don't have time to be fair, we need a strong leader. But when you look around, you've got to ask: 'Where have all the leaders gone?' Where are the curious, creative communicators? Where are the people of character, courage, conviction, omnipotence, and common sense? I may be a sucker for alliteration, but I hope you get the point. [Who is John Galt] Name me a leader who has a better idea for homeland security than making us take off our shoes in airports and throw away our shampoo? We've spent billions of dollars building a huge new bureaucracy, and all we know how to do is react to things that have already happened. Name me one leader who emerged from the crisis of Hurricane Katrina. Congress has yet to spend a single day evaluating the response to the hurricane, or demanding accountability for the decisions that were made in the crucial hours after the storm. Everyone's hunkering down, fingers crossed, hoping it doesn't happen again. Well guess what people? We are having more floods right now. What are we doing to help these people out.. Now, that's just crazy. Storms happen. Deal with it. Make a plan. Figure out what you're going to do the next time. Why are we allowing people to build in flood plains anyway? If you build in a flood area, expect to be flooded and deal with it. Don't expect the Government to bail you out. Name me an industry leader who is thinking creatively about how we can restore our competitive edge in manufacturing. All they seem to be thinking now-days is getting themselves bigger salaries and bonuses. Who would have believed that there could ever be a time when 'The Big Three' referred to Japanese car companies? How did this happen, and more important, what are we going to do about it? likely nothing! Name me a government leader who can articulate a plan for paying down the debt, or solving the energy crisis, or managing the health care problem. The silence is deafening. But these are the crises that are eating away at our country and milking the middle class dry. I have news for the gang in Congress and the Senate. We didn't elect you to sit on your asses and do nothing and remain silent while our democracy is being hijacked and our greatness is being replaced with mediocrity. What is everybody so afraid of? That some bonehead on Fox News will call them a name? Give me a break. Why don't you guys show some spine for a change? I honestly don't think any of you have one! Had Enough? Hey, I'm not trying to be the voice of gloom and doom here. I'm trying to light a fire. I'm speaking out because I have hope; I believe in America ..... In my lifetime I've had the privilege of living through some of America's greatest moments I've also experienced some of our worst crises: the 'Great Depression', 'World War II', the 'Korean War', the 'Kennedy Assassination', the 'Vietnam War', the 1970s oil crisis, and the struggles of recent years culminating with 9/11. If I've learned one thing, it's this: 'You don't get anywhere by standing on the sidelines waiting for somebody else to take action. Whether it's building a better car or building a better future for our children, we all have a role to play. That's the challenge I'm raising in this book. It's a call to 'Action' for people who, like me, believe in America .. It's not too late, but it's getting pretty close. So let's shake off the crap and go to work . Let's tell 'em all we've had 'enough.' [And take some of these matters into our own hands. Or, like Reardon and John Galt, just leave‼]
Anonymous law student, eh? Makes it sound all official-like, doesn't it? It's just the usual oversimplified twaddle of the Right.
It is the oversimplified twaddle but the left ain't much better. One should try reading that and pick and choose what you like, then find some equivalent left-wing rant and pick and choose there. One'll find what this student may perhaps be parodying: that America is NOT two seperate countries infused together, but a single nation represented by screaming, crying dumbasses at the extremes while everyone else can, for the most part, be roughly in the middle. Don't like the healthcare system? Fine, be for centralizing it. Think the war in Iraq was an inevitable event that we now need to end correctly and tactfully? Kudos, be for proper funding of the action. Don't just pick a side and blindly cling to it just becase that side represents "most" of one's views. Grrrr.... bipartisan politics piss me off to no end... But back to the original poem: so damned true. I think I go to school with most of the grown children like the child represented in this poem: brats who believe kids have a right to be little shits and have parents too spineless to set them in their place. Maybe it's just the way I was raised, I dunno. My dad wasn't afraid of handing out a spanking every now and then. We'd get one warning, that's how it worked, and this was only for if we were being REAL little shits, like screaming in the toy store or some dumb thing. No repeditive, "I'll take you out to the car, I swear! I mean it this time!" bullshit, just a firm, "this is your warning". So I'm curious now, what was everyone's childhood discipline experience, and how has it shaped who you are?
My mom was authoritative rather than authoritarian. She laid down the law when it was genuinely necessary, but otherwise didn't keep me on a short leash. Good thing, too. I'm not easy, submissive, or inclined towards fitting in. If she had been a dictator like some of my friends' parents there would have been a LOT of fireworks.
The "John J. Wall" thing is apparently doing the rounds of all the GOP blogs. I guess they all fall for this kind of thing. Here's a response: http://journalplagueyear.blogspot.com/2009/03/busted-flat-and-out-of-ideas-gop-cult.html
Can someone please fix the title ? 'Deicated' sounds like some process of becoming a deity or something.
Yes of course. Look, this is hardly worth a discussion. I was just pointing it out. Lets not go on about this, ok ?
