I don't recall being given a choice.
You have one now - I.e. go to the backwoods of Alaska, pan for gold, cut your firewood for the cold winters, etc. but I now understand that it is not social living you don't want, it is free from DC living in a smaller state, say the nation of Michigan, so we can drop this part of the discussion.
... We can make things and trade with the rest of the Union much the same way any sovereign nations does. I don't see the big deal. We have a LOT of natural resources and I'm sure our economy would be much better off OUT of the Union than in. Firstly, we wouldn't be paying out the ass in taxes that do little to nothing to help us. Secondly, with a new currency (pegged to the Yuan at 6 to 1

we might actually be able to start manufacturing again
Is there something somewhere I missing? If so let me know because as it stands our state is DECIMATED. Have you seen Detroit? Flint?
You would need, on smaller scale most of what the US government has. Post office, army, air force, dozens of regulatory agencies to prevent abuses (everything from local radio broadcasters interfering with each other to banks printing their own money to snake oil salesmen with cancer cure going door to door, an SEC, FDA, NIH, NBS (weights & measures standards), USDA (what level of pesticide can be on your apples, etc.), FBI's sophisticated crime investigation capacity, etc. for dozens of others you don't want to live without. )*
All of these state agencies in each of the 50 state, duplicating their abilities with different standards, and often conflicting adding to trade costs and reducing volume of production to make each unit cost more, (e.g. drug X legal in adjoining state but illegal in Michigan, salt allowed in jar of baby food not the same, etc.) would make 50 times more of what you don't want. Half of the US population would be at least as "unproductive" as you see DC is and cost much more. I.e. again it is question of economy of scale. Again going to the extreme makes this clear I.e. should Detroit have its on postal system, National Guard /army, FDA, bank regulators, etc.
The most economically scale for these essentials is a function of technology - in the middle ages the Michigan scale may have even been too big. City states were about correct. As transport and communications improved larger units were better. What is now Germany was earlier Saxony, etc. each with its government. For more than 100 years in what is now USA, there was separate states with little mutual trade and no technical ability for the creation of USA - each state with its own post office, standards of weights, lengths etc. was better as there was little trade between them.
Technology has now tied the world together for trade at least. The first elements of one world nation are appearing (world court, UN, common patent law, which US just adopted, rules of war (no poison gas etc), global internet and post office (stamp of any nation will get letter to any other) etc. Slowly as in the past the smaller units we call "nations" will be killed off by technology and better larger scale economics and regulations. (We see starts of that in "carbon credits", UN sanctions, etc. and international corporations.) It may take 1000 years, but nations will be part of history, just as most city states are now.
Basically I don't think we disagree - we are disagreeing about what is the most efficient/optimum size of the governmental unit to live under. What we think really does not matter - advances in technology will eventually (long time from now) make one world government the best, with finally an end to the cost of wars. (France and Germany will not again try to kill each other’s soldiers** as the they did, even 1000 years before there was a France and Germany - I still remember the start of my Latin book: Cesar say (in English translation) "All Gaul is divided into three parts." (Two of which as I recall are roughly France and Germany now and they were mutually fighting back then)
Also, according to your analogy Singapore would have been much better off WITH Malaysia. It wasn't and it did very well for itself leaving and becoming an independent nation. Wouldn't you agree?
No - not what I am saying. I am saying that the drift of history, driven by technology advances, is to ever bigger and more efficient governmental units. Certainly, for historical reasons, some parts of the world cannot easily be included quickly with others in new larger governments.
Again, consider Germany. It is still struggling to digest East Germany. -Wages are lower in the East than the West, services are not as good, etc. but in a few decades more, one Germany will be much more than the sum of the two separate parts would be. More efficient (fewer sets of bureaucrats) less conflicts in regulations complicating mutual trade, no occasional wars between them, etc. Probably at present, the USA and Canada would both be better off if they were one political / economic unit. (Just the benefits of one common policy wrt to China would be a big advance.) Certainly, Europe will be as the USE, if they can get over their historical individual nations ideas.
Summary: Bigger governments are not perfect, but are more efficient as technology advances than a multitude of smaller ones duplicating the needed services and regulations. Ending war will be a huge advance for mankind, when one world government exists and its courts settle disputes.
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* If you think the US has too many lawyers, wait until there are 50 different sets of laws and conflicting regulations.
** Thank god for birth control pills or without war Malthus would have been correct - Geometric growth does beat linear growth.