Apparently, walking and breathing is being a tease the way some people talk...
Why Monogamy Is Ridiculous
- Thread starter KilljoyKlown
- Start date
Apparently, walking and breathing is being a tease the way some people talk...
Of course not, but deceptively implying (sometimes explicitely) something more will happen, even if that is just the prospect of another date - just so the woman can gain out of it will naturally lead to negative consequences when this is figured out. With the wrong person this will lead to the woman being the victim in some way, but usually the victim is the man being taken advantage of as women perpetuate the kind of sexism that suits them - ie buying them dinner. Good luck getting a second date if you don't pay.
Frankly such dishonest behaviour means they deserve everything it gets them.
Depends how heavy your breathing is and how much your boobs jiggle when you walk. Must go take a cold shower now.
I didn't realize that a man would feel victimized by paying for dinner.
If the man asks the woman out, and chooses the restaurant, why should he feel this way? The woman has usually invested considerable time and effort in her appearance, often even buying new clothing for this important occasion of screening each other. Tradition suggests that the man should pay, yet more women are becoming accustomed to going 'Dutch Treat' so that they are relieved of any such implicit 'obligation'.
Conversely, why does a first date have to be at an expensive restaurant? There are plenty of less expensive options. Why not a walk and a picnic? A visit to a local attraction, be it a library or a park? A dessert date of coffee and cake, while not cheap is still far less an investment than a fine dining experience......
You are correct, though, in that I would seriously wonder why I was dating a guy who did not consider my time and energy to be an investment worthy of at least basic nutrition, unless we had established 'Dutch Treat' at the time of committing to the date. Guys are usually embarrassed as all get out if the women offers to pay. I suppose that makes them feel like chattel or somehow obliged to the woman?
I reckon it depends on whether the guy is looking for a relationship or just some physical attention.
Same with 'Dutch', if my boyfriend gets me something such as a meal or ticket to the cinema, I'll pay for him next time out of fairness. It's only right. Tradition isn't relevant, we're 2 adults and we should treat each other fairly.
Great, so if you happen to have big boobs you're being a tease simply by going about your life.
Fraggle Rocker
Staff member
Going back to the early feminists in the 1960s, they said that to accept a free meal, concert ticket, or anything else from a man carried the obvious implication of a transaction. "I will accept this thing of value from you, which is clearly not tendered as a gift, and in return I owe you something that you consider to be of roughly equal value."
At the same time gender equality was wending its way through the economy, and I (as a member of the nascent IT industry) often found myself dating women who made just as much money as I did, if not more. The old idea that we should pay for women's entertainment and other fun out of sheer kindness, because otherwise they could never afford to go out, was no longer valid in all social circles.
These women were showing off their liberation in two ways: "I have an education and a good job so I can pay for myself, thank you," and "This is not a transaction; I don't owe you anything afterwards."
Eventually the reality settled in that like any social movement, women's liberation was going to take several generations to complete. Except for a few brand-new professions like IT, even women with PhD's were still not making quite as much money as their male counterparts, if only because the male hierarchy resisted moving them up the ladder as quickly as men rose.
Another reason was that only women undergo childbirth and that always interrupts their career, even if they hire a nanny or have a stay-at-home dad who will take over as soon as they're strong enough to tackle rush-hour traffic and corporate politics again. And in reality very few mothers take that option (it's not even available to most of them) so a woman who wants to have a family will find herself earning less money than the men she meets when she is thrust out in the dating scene after her husband eventually leaves her (about half of us will do that).
So today when a man and a woman arrange a date, it's anybody's guess how they will work out the finances. They should both be amenable to a compromise. As they get to know each other they can work out the finances. To me it seems kind of silly to make it one of the primary issues on a first date. On the other hand, that is soooo American, because we are fixated on money.
At the same time gender equality was wending its way through the economy, and I (as a member of the nascent IT industry) often found myself dating women who made just as much money as I did, if not more. The old idea that we should pay for women's entertainment and other fun out of sheer kindness, because otherwise they could never afford to go out, was no longer valid in all social circles.
These women were showing off their liberation in two ways: "I have an education and a good job so I can pay for myself, thank you," and "This is not a transaction; I don't owe you anything afterwards."
Eventually the reality settled in that like any social movement, women's liberation was going to take several generations to complete. Except for a few brand-new professions like IT, even women with PhD's were still not making quite as much money as their male counterparts, if only because the male hierarchy resisted moving them up the ladder as quickly as men rose.
Another reason was that only women undergo childbirth and that always interrupts their career, even if they hire a nanny or have a stay-at-home dad who will take over as soon as they're strong enough to tackle rush-hour traffic and corporate politics again. And in reality very few mothers take that option (it's not even available to most of them) so a woman who wants to have a family will find herself earning less money than the men she meets when she is thrust out in the dating scene after her husband eventually leaves her (about half of us will do that).
So today when a man and a woman arrange a date, it's anybody's guess how they will work out the finances. They should both be amenable to a compromise. As they get to know each other they can work out the finances. To me it seems kind of silly to make it one of the primary issues on a first date. On the other hand, that is soooo American, because we are fixated on money.
I think it is pretty simple. If a women says no and you don't stop it is sexual assault and you should go to prison. If you say you were teased to the point that you couldn't control yourself then you shouldn't be allowed to out on the street anyway.
Ever know someone who was sexually assaulted. If not I suggest you sit down and with them and find out what a negative life changing experience it is. Then if you still think some women 'deserve what she gets' - I would hope that you get to experience an assault and see if you still feel that way.
Ever know someone who was sexually assaulted. If not I suggest you sit down and with them and find out what a negative life changing experience it is. Then if you still think some women 'deserve what she gets' - I would hope that you get to experience an assault and see if you still feel that way.
I really hate dating. Can't we just go for a cup of coffee where we could arrange to spend time doing something together that does not cost anything. Also, I prefer to spend time with women that I find attractive without makeup and expensive clothes.
Another way a guy can feel cheated is when he wakes up with a woman and she doesn't look even half as good as the night before. (Talk about being victimized)
That's why a three way with another woman makes even more sense, you'd have a 50/50 chance of having one of them looking good.
That doesnt happen to me cos usually I'm out the door long before the next morning...Another way a guy can feel cheated is when he wakes up with a woman and she doesn't look even half as good as the night before. (Talk about being victimized)
Yes, by all means, get another girl involved for a three way!
Do you HAVE to be annoying all the time??
How does that change anything? The fact that she doesn't look so good in the morning without her makeup on and you wouldn't touch her with a 10 foot pole, but it's okay because you didn't stay long enough to find out. I'm sure one of your friends would clue you in if they ever found out.
Anyway, the point is if you meet and do something in the day time you have a lot less chance of being fooled by a little makeup.
Still fucking alarmed and disgusted that anyone thinks teasing is morally as bad as rape.
Do you feel violated to the point of crying, screaming, hyperventilating etc. after someone teases you then leaves or says no?
Do you suffer post traumatic stress afterwards?
Do you have nightmares years later about the girl who swaggered around showing her hips and ass but didn't actually want to have sex with you? Panic attacks when you think of her by mistake? Feel shattered to the core because she took away your self determination?
No..I didn't think so.
Damn but the more I see of people the more they freaking piss me off...seems the idiot rate is going way way up.
Do you feel violated to the point of crying, screaming, hyperventilating etc. after someone teases you then leaves or says no?
Do you suffer post traumatic stress afterwards?
Do you have nightmares years later about the girl who swaggered around showing her hips and ass but didn't actually want to have sex with you? Panic attacks when you think of her by mistake? Feel shattered to the core because she took away your self determination?
No..I didn't think so.
Damn but the more I see of people the more they freaking piss me off...seems the idiot rate is going way way up.
Nobody thinks it's as bad as rape, but it's not a very smart thing to do. Kind of like picking up a stick and poking a wasps nest and thinking you won't ever be stung and then big surprise you do get stung.
No, No and No.
No again, the idiot rate hasn't changed, just your perception of it.
Hellenologophobia
Registered Senior Member
Didn't Scheherazade indicate that she was a female. Quite frankly, I'm surprised that it came from her.
I asked my younger sister, who she said that being called a cock tease can pressure young girls into having sex before they're ready.
A mature male would agree wholeheartedly with visceral instinct.
Even if we were in bed, completely naked, she still has the right to change her mind. If a woman flirts with me, I would not immediately assume that I’m getting laid. Oh sure, I might test the waters with a little persuasion, and if I’m good, I might get lucky.
I see nothing wrong with a woman letting me know that she finds me attractive. Even though, she may not sleep with me, it’s still an ego boost.
Flirting is a visceral instinct, and I’m willing to throw myself on the knife, if anyone has the urge.
Didn't Scheherazade indicate that she was a female. Quite frankly, I'm surprised that it came from her.
I asked my younger sister, who she said that being called a cock tease can pressure young girls into having sex before they're ready.
A mature male would agree wholeheartedly with visceral instinct.
Even if we were in bed, completely naked, she still has the right to change her mind. If a woman flirts with me, I would not immediately assume that I’m getting laid. Oh sure, I might test the waters with a little persuasion, and if I’m good, I might get lucky.
I see nothing wrong with a woman letting me know that she finds me attractive. Even though, she may not sleep with me, it’s still an ego boost.
Flirting is a visceral instinct, and I’m willing to throw myself on the knife, if anyone has the urge.
That was very well said, and I agree. However the world is a dangerous place and if your going to play with fire sooner or later you might get burned. But also, I would hazard a guess that a rapist doesn't really need any excuse to commit a rape and that a little prick teasing may only help focus his attention to a particular woman.
I really hate dating. Can't we just go for a cup of coffee where we could arrange to spend time doing something together that does not cost anything. Also, I prefer to spend time with women that I find attractive without makeup and expensive clothes.
Another way a guy can feel cheated is when he wakes up with a woman and she doesn't look even half as good as the night before. (Talk about being victimized)
You sound as though your head is well around the subject. Relationships are precisely about spending time with another person and dating does not have to be about spending a lot of money.
Fellows who just want some 'action' should be targeting women who likewise are into bedroom gymnastics without commitment. Or they can invest their money directly on a 'professional service' and skip the amenities and dating.
Honesty, on the part of both men and women, will lead to far more satisfactory outcomes.
There are frequently ads in the local personal columns seeking friendship, someone to have coffee and socialize with, participate in activities. Many persons are single and lonely, yet perhaps do not want a full fledged physical relationship or a live-in.
Men and women ARE capable of psychological and intellectually supportive relationships, with or without physical intimacy.
Or at least some are.....