Never Knows Best

Sometimes the observable is, well, obvious.
When it comes to a woman's right to walk unharmed through a city street, our understanding takes a nose dive.
'Of course we're not rapists!' we say to ourselves. We condemn the pack-animal mentality in India. 'My mother is a woman!' It's as predictable as a 90's Demtel commercial. But then, we'll go home and watch The Footy Show or maybe Jersey Shore, both of which reduce women to empty vessels at best and objects of sexual derision at worst. Some of us may go to the pub―even joined by A Woman, because we're evolved―and they like to joke along too! It's all part of the fun! Lighten up! (Nice pins, by the way).
If, God forbid, a woman is attacked here in Australia, the inevitable questions about where and with whom she was before it happened convince me more than anything that we are embroiled in dangerous times. In 2012, our postcard playground is still smeared with this retrograde thinking. Jill Meagher, even in death, was maligned by the protectors of female chastity for daring to venture out by herself at night time.
In short, we just don't get it.
Yes, there are gradations of sexism. There's Al Qaeda on one side and a few loose smatterings of men on the other extreme. But, let's be honest, boys―most of us Nice Guys are in the middle and we're not budging. Because that would force us to question our own assumptions about our own masculinity and how it is impacted by the empowering of over one half of the global community.
No, we're not all rapists. That notion has been one of the most grievous mistruths ever propagated by patriarchy―that we are all loose-loined brutes chomping at the bit. But most of us tacitly condone the cultural framework that allows rape to happen.
Simon Tedeschi↱ kicked off 2013 with a jarring indictment of his own Australian society. A month and a half later,
Anna Minard↱ of
The Stranger struck at the heart and conscience of Seattle:
The post includes a long message from SPD's North Precinct crime prevention officer, Terrie Johnston, recommending that readers "please review these personal safety tips." The tips, of which there are a dozen, include things like:
Do you know your location? Do you know the street names, hundred block? East, South, West, North? Could you tell the 9-1-1 call taker to where they need to dispatch responders?
Try to get good descriptions of anyone acting suspiciously or threatening. Start from the head and work down. Most likely you know your height, so use this to gauge theirs.
If traveling alone, take a charged up cell phone with you if possible. Know what is available to you along your route. What time does that store open or close? Does that apt.bldg. have a security guard? Is there a payphone?
Ipod earphones, etc. may prevent you from hearing someone approaching. As does texting while you are walking, waiting for the bus, etc. You need to be aware when out if public spaces.
Wear appropriate clothing for the street. Shoes that are comfortable and allow you to run if necessary. Choose clothing that allows you to move, and does not block your vision.
The list also includes the tips: "Stand tall, walk confidently with your head up, eyes open and constantly scanning the surroundings" and "Try not to show fear. Keep a neutral face that shows you are 'in charge.'"
So, to review: Seattleites—and let's be honest, we're talking mostly to women here—as you go about your business, constantly scan your surroundings, memorizing detailed physical descriptions of people you encounter. Always know, down to the exact block, where you are and where the nearest security guard is and the hours of nearby businesses. Wear running shoes and loose, appropriate clothing—aka clothing appropriate for running away in. Bring your cell phone, but don't use it to listen to music or text. And as you walk through the city like a human danger-scanner, walk confidently and keep your face neutral. You're "in charge"!
WHAT THE FUCK?
I'm sure the police department is working to solve these crimes. I'm sure they just want to remind people that we live in a city and crime is real and it can happen to you. But this is exactly the kind of shit that we are talking about when we talk about women being raised in a culture of fear and conditioned to certain behaviors and expectations—like the expectation that we're the ducks in a giant game of Duck Hunt™.
You know, there's a reason I wonder about topic posts like we saw in
this thread↑, and that reason seems to prove out.
It is one thing to pretetnd confusion, and quite another to foment it. There must be a reason why these people just can't deal with the question; male supremacism can't really be
that important, can it?
The way I see it↱―
This is the only identifiable boundary to what would otherwise be infinite prevention advocacy; the IPAs want women to suspect every man, but #NotAllMen, and definitely not me, or my husband, or my son, or my brother, or my freakin' anyone!
Think about what we're down to. When you go out on the town, ladies, wear shoes that are suitable for running away from an assailant. And dress appropriately for fighting off an assailant. And make sure your haircut doesn't help an assailant too much. And don't use your mobile phone downtown. And don't listen to music downtown. And don't let your friends pour you drinks. And don't encourage the harassers by responding. And don't encourage them by looking frightened. And don't encourage them by looking like you're ignoring them. And … and … and ....
And at what point is this a human rights issue? At what point do quality of life and living in fear matter? Is it merely when that prevention advice must be applied to #NotAllMen?
And what those "prevention" advocates need to comprehend is that you can't ask this sort of contradiction of anyone. Suspect everyone, but not everyone? Suspect everyone, but not me?
―it really isn't so hard to see.
The thing is that the logical failures are hardly subtle. Effort is a prerequisite of failure to notice overlapping demands for mutually exclusive conditions. And, you know, damn it, if a continuing rape crisis besieging the women we know—our mothers and daughters and sisters and friends—is what it takes for you to be able to crack a crude, locker-room joke without feeling like you’re oppressing women, what the hell is wrong with you?
The underlying reminder from our neighbors' insistence on morbidly farcical straw men is that the only people qualified to talk about rape culture are men who want you to pretend it doesn't exist.
This is a human rights issue.
Yeah. Women are human beings. They have human rights. If this fact troubles you, something about misogyny goes here, and that's your problem to deal with.
____________________
Notes:
Tedeschi, Simon. "We must face up to our own rape culture". The Drum. 1 January 2013. ABC.net.au. 22 November 2015. http://ab.co/1NmvWdk
Minard, Anna. "To Avoid Rape, 'Try not to show fear.'" Slog. 13 February 2013. Slog.TheStranger.com. 22 November 2015. http://bit.ly/1N7RbxJ