What are the biological reasons that women reject men?

[Layman]

after being married and divorced, I look for ways to avoid love. I am one of those "lets just be friends" type of loser.

Yes, telling women that you just want to be friends will make you a loser. They will take this that you are unable to perform in bed. Or that you lack the confidence that you can perform well in bed and she will leave you, and that you think she would be the kind of person to do that. Or that you are just playing some kind of games to trick her that you actually desire a successful relationship and not sex. Or that she just isn't attractive enough for you and that you don't want to be with her in that way because of the way she looks.

The reason will never be that you actually want to get to know them first and then determine if you are right for each other, unless you are a Bible thumping Priest or minister. Then this even has its downsides, they could feel that they don't want to risk falling in love with someone that could turn out to just decide that they don't really want to be with them because this is seriously in question.

Basically if you ever want to be in a relationship with a women you have to be able to put out, then it is anybodies guess to weather or not she wanted to sleep with you because she had this strong desire to just be with you or if she always has a strong desire to be with just anybody. But then you cannot expect a women to always have to put out and that is very socially unacceptable. So then the decision of weather or not to have sex should be left to the women even though a lot of women don't really agree with this type of attitude, "as if they have to be the only one responsible enough to make that decision". (ie, all men are horn dogs)

But, then I don't even think they realize that subconsciously they push us into this type of relationship. For instance, you say you just want to be friends, then you no longer have any chance of being in a relationship with them really, unless you are just tied to them in some way closely through life circumstances. Then if they are tied to your life in some way that you cannot control it would be better to just say that you want to be friends. You could then be forced to deal with that mistake for a long time. Then of course it would also not be a good idea to be with someone in that way if it was not morally correct for some reason.

 

[wegs]

...

 

[cosmictotem]

Yes, telling women that you just want to be friends will make you a loser. They will take this that you are unable to perform in bed. Or that you lack the confidence that you can perform well in bed and she will leave you, and that you think she would be the kind of person to do that. Or that you are just playing some kind of games to trick her that you actually desire a successful relationship and not sex. Or that she just isn't attractive enough for you and that you don't want to be with her in that way because of the way she looks.

The reason will never be that you actually want to get to know them first and then determine if you are right for each other, unless you are a Bible thumping Priest or minister. Then this even has its downsides, they could feel that they don't want to risk falling in love with someone that could turn out to just decide that they don't really want to be with them because this is seriously in question.

Basically if you ever want to be in a relationship with a women you have to be able to put out, then it is anybodies guess to weather or not she wanted to sleep with you because she had this strong desire to just be with you or if she always has a strong desire to be with just anybody. But then you cannot expect a women to always have to put out and that is very socially unacceptable. So then the decision of weather or not to have sex should be left to the women even though a lot of women don't really agree with this type of attitude, "as if they have to be the only one responsible enough to make that decision". (ie, all men are horn dogs)

But, then I don't even think they realize that subconsciously they push us into this type of relationship. For instance, you say you just want to be friends, then you no longer have any chance of being in a relationship with them really, unless you are just tied to them in some way closely through life circumstances. Then if they are tied to your life in some way that you cannot control it would be better to just say that you want to be friends. You could then be forced to deal with that mistake for a long time. Then of course it would also not be a good idea to be with someone in that way if it was not morally correct for some reason.

Layman, this goes back to what kind of women you are pursuing. " They will take this that you are unable to perform in bed. "...It sounds like the type of women you are speaking of are totally wrong for you and yet you fixate upon them as if they are the only option in the world. There are millions of women out there just as insecure regarding sex and everything else as you seem to suggest you are. There are even asexuals who have their own sub-culture. I have also encountered many shy and non-judgmental women from other cultures who are very reserved. Are you relegating your search to one culture? As you know, the planet is full of cultures of varying customs, traditions and internal thought processes regarding romantic attraction. Maybe your issues are culturally specific and do not extend to all women?

Forget these overly confident, competitive, high maintenance, high critical women. They are not for you. It has nothing to do with inadequacy. They just don't compliment your personality. So don't even worry about them.

Are you sure you know yourself? Because the kind of women you fixate or worry about should be off your list entirely and not even an issue for you.

I don't worry about the attraction of such women because I don't want it and have long since jettisoned such notions.

Also, from your response to my reply, when I say "intelligent", I mean a wise woman. Someone who has accumulated enough life wisdom to not be superficial and materialistic and will share a similar life outlook to yours.

What do you think would be the sub-culture a woman you would be attracted to would come from?

For instance, when I do look (I'm not looking now), I look to the liberal politics, science and buddhist cultures or a combination of them. I don't look amongst the metal bars sub-culture. I understand certain social environments are not going to work for me and I don't lament my inability to succeed in those environments. I just say I am not compatible with members of that sub-group.

 

[Layman]

Layman, this goes back to what kind of women you are pursuing. " They will take this that you are unable to perform in bed. "...It sounds like the type of women you are speaking of are totally wrong for you and yet you fixate upon them as if they are the only option in the world. There are millions of women out there just as insecure regarding sex and everything else as you seem to suggest you are. There are even asexuals who have their own sub-culture. I have also encountered many shy and non-judgmental women from other cultures who are very reserved. Are you relegating your search to one culture? As you know, the planet is full of cultures of varying customs, traditions and internal thought processes regarding romantic attraction. Maybe your issues are culturally specific and do not extend to all women?

Forget these overly confident, competitive, high maintenance, high critical women. They are not for you. It has nothing to do with inadequacy. They just don't compliment your personality. So don't even worry about them.

Are you sure you know yourself? Because the kind of women you fixate or worry about should be off your list entirely and not even an issue for you.

I don't worry about the attraction of such women because I don't want it and have long since jettisoned such notions.

Also, from your response to my reply, when I say "intelligent", I mean a wise woman. Someone who has accumulated enough life wisdom to not be superficial and materialistic and will share a similar life outlook to yours.

What do you think would be the sub-culture a woman you would be attracted to would come from?

For instance, when I do look (I'm not looking now), I look to the liberal politics, science and buddhist cultures or a combination of them. I don't look amongst the metal bars sub-culture. I understand certain social environments are not going to work for me and I don't lament my inability to succeed in those environments. I just say I am not compatible with members of that sub-group.

I gave a variety of different reasons not just the one you quoted. I think that particular one would be women who are drunks. I think the reason they pick could depend a lot of what background they have. I think my sub group would mostly be just the American women. The American culture has just brought out the worst in them. It isn't very common for a women to admit something is wrong with the male sexual organ. Mostly likely for some reason that was spread among American women why that would not be a good idea, that could be unknown to us men. Then our cultural differences could prevent this type of idea from extending to other cultures around the world. I think it is part of a conspiracy that does not and cannot extend to other cultures that are drastically different than our own. I fear that by Americanizing other countries it could serve as a containment breach of these ideas, and then men of other nations of different cultures could suffer the same way we do from these generalizations that women have about men.

I actually have a friend that travels to the Philippines to meet women since he thinks that they are actually better people even though he doesn't really agree with a lot I have to say about the subject of women. He comes back saying that they are so much nicer to him and tell him how good looking he is and comes back with over fifty different phone numbers. I wonder how many trips it would take before they start treating him like American women do, lol. But no really, he also has trouble finding someone in that situation because I think he still has a little fear as well about jumping into a new relationship. I don't think I should try to get an Asian women, I kind of feel like that would be just like selling out. I wouldn't have actually have settled these problems that I have had in the past and would be allowing them to continue indefinitely for people like myself. Even though I couldn't say that really delving into this would be a wise idea ever more of a reason why it doesn't really come up. Then there is also the possibility of a foreign women from another culture becoming Americanized by being in a relationship with them.

 

[schema]

Yes, telling women that you just want to be friends will make you a loser. They will take this that you are unable to perform in bed. Or that you lack the confidence that you can perform well in bed and she will leave you, and that you think she would be the kind of person to do that. Or that you are just playing some kind of games to trick her that you actually desire a successful relationship and not sex. Or that she just isn't attractive enough for you and that you don't want to be with her in that way because of the way she looks.

The reason will never be that you actually want to get to know them first and then determine if you are right for each other, unless you are a Bible thumping Priest or minister. Then this even has its downsides, they could feel that they don't want to risk falling in love with someone that could turn out to just decide that they don't really want to be with them because this is seriously in question.

Basically if you ever want to be in a relationship with a women you have to be able to put out, then it is anybodies guess to weather or not she wanted to sleep with you because she had this strong desire to just be with you or if she always has a strong desire to be with just anybody. But then you cannot expect a women to always have to put out and that is very socially unacceptable. So then the decision of weather or not to have sex should be left to the women even though a lot of women don't really agree with this type of attitude, "as if they have to be the only one responsible enough to make that decision". (ie, all men are horn dogs)

But, then I don't even think they realize that subconsciously they push us into this type of relationship. For instance, you say you just want to be friends, then you no longer have any chance of being in a relationship with them really, unless you are just tied to them in some way closely through life circumstances. Then if they are tied to your life in some way that you cannot control it would be better to just say that you want to be friends. You could then be forced to deal with that mistake for a long time. Then of course it would also not be a good idea to be with someone in that way if it was not morally correct for some reason.

Well you got me there, man. thanks for the relationship advice.

I am content to flirt with the married cougars at the local bar. The "lets just be friends" routine is mutually understood and accepted, however the prospect of casual sex is still on the table. >.<

 

[Layman]

Well you got me there, man. thanks for the relationship advice.

I am content to flirt with the married cougars at the local bar. The "lets just be friends" routine is mutually understood and accepted, however the prospect of casual sex is still on the table. >.<

I don't know what to say other than either your a complete idiot or a total genius. I have noticed that women don't actually go to bars unless they are already taken. You will never see a couple of girls that got the bright idea that they should go to the bar to find them a man (at least not around where I live).

In this case I think they would think that "lets just be friends" = "I really want casual sex, but don't want to scare you away" , so then they would have to "put sex on the table" to find out if this is true. Then someone that "put's sex on the table" = "slut". That would be an example of what I mentioned about not being able to dig for information without putting yourself in a bad light, unless you mean to say that you then "start having sex on the table".

 

[wegs]

My gosh, how some of you refer to women is just awful.
The stereo typing is wow.
Being kind and respectful goes a long way. Yeah there are women who are a disgrace and treat men poorly but many who don't. I can say the same about men.

I might be afraid of love because I have been hurt but I don't understand the subtle bashing of women in this thread.

 

[schema]

I don't know what to say other than either your a complete idiot or a total genius. I have noticed that women don't actually go to bars unless they are already taken. You will never see a couple of girls that got the bright idea that they should go to the bar to find them a man (at least not around where I live).

In this case I think they would think that "lets just be friends" = "I really want casual sex, but don't want to scare you away" , so then they would have to "put sex on the table" to find out if this is true. Then someone that "put's sex on the table" = "slut". That would be an example of what I mentioned about not being able to dig for information without putting yourself in a bad light, unless you mean to say that you then "start having sex on the table".

Maybe a bit of both, layman. Why is it you assume that being in a monogamous relationship is important? Mainstream media has put it into our brains that we are supposed to "fall in love", get married, crap out a bunch of kids and live happily ever after. But we weren't biologically designed to do that. Once you divorce yourself from the idea that you are SUPPOSED to be in a relationship at all times, you become quite happier with your life. Am I an idiot? probably. Am I a genius? debatable. But I am happy, because I love myself unconditionally. I am not defined by my relationship status.

 

[schema]

My gosh, how some of you refer to women is just awful.
The stereo typing is wow.
Being kind and respectful goes a long way. Yeah there are women who are a disgrace and treat men poorly but many who don't. I can say the same about men.

I might be afraid of love because I have been hurt but I don't understand the subtle bashing of women in this thread.

bitterness, man. :/

 

[Layman]

My gosh, how some of you refer to women is just awful.
The stereo typing is wow.
Being kind and respectful goes a long way. Yeah there are women who are a disgrace and treat men poorly but many who don't. I can say the same about men.

I might be afraid of love because I have been hurt but I don't understand the subtle bashing of women in this thread.

The irony of it all is that all the women are already taken in happy relationships and then will just tell you to get lost or they are married right away because they are faithful to their man. It is hard not to when any random women you walk up to then treats you in a similar manner. I don't really think I look that scary. I can be certain if there is a clear defined purpose for me having to talk to them I that would be treated the same way by them. If I walked up to one and said, "Hi, how are you doing" and then got a different response than "oh, I have a boyfriend". I might start thinking that they are different in some way from hearing different responses from them. I don't even see why that would be a proper response to the question, and the fact that I would get this same response in any situation is completely dumbfounding.

 

[schema]

The irony of it all is that all the women are already taken in happy relationships and then will just tell you to get lost or they are married right away because they are faithful to their man. It is hard not to when any random women you walk up to then treats you in a similar manner. I don't really think I look that scary. I can be certain if there is a clear defined purpose for me having to talk to them I that would be treated the same way by them. If I walked up to one and said, "Hi, how are you doing" and then got a different response than "oh, I have a boyfriend". I might start thinking that they are different in some way from hearing different responses from them. I don't even see why that would be a proper response to the question, and the fact that I would get this same response in any situation is completely dumbfounding.

Some women leave their "man" all of the time for other men. I assume every woman is single. Even if they weren't, it wouldn't change the way i interacted with them. How do you approach women? " Hey, I am single. Are you single?" I think your generalization my be skewed. Keep in mind, hypothetical women in your argument are variables. Your personality is the only constant. If you keep getting the same response from women (single or otherwise) perhaps you should make some changes... perhaps a change in perspective.

 

[cosmictotem]

My gosh, how some of you refer to women is just awful.
The stereo typing is wow.
Being kind and respectful goes a long way. Yeah there are women who are a disgrace and treat men poorly but many who don't. I can say the same about men.

I might be afraid of love because I have been hurt but I don't understand the subtle bashing of women in this thread.

Can you be more specific, wegs? If you care to elaborate, which statements and by whom give you concern?

 

[Layman]

Women leave their "man" all of the time for other men. I assume every woman is single. Even if they weren't, it wouldn't change the way i interacted with them. How do you approach women? " Hey, I am single. Are you single?" I think your generalization my be skewed. Keep in mind, hypothetical women in your argument are variables. Your personality is the only constant. If you keep getting the same response from women (single or otherwise) perhaps you should make some changes... perhaps a change in perspective.

I guess I could learn some other words for Hi, maybe try it in different languages or something. But, then sometimes I don't even have to get around to saying it. Maybe that with an increased speed of approach.

 

[schema]

I guess I could learn some other words for Hi, maybe try it in different languages or something. But, then sometimes I don't even have to get around to saying it. Maybe that with an increased speed of approach.

Start with a big ass smile and simple question embedded in a vulnerable chuckle: " Heh. do think the the rain is going to hit before 12? If i get wet, I'll melt"

 

[wegs]

Can you be more specific, wegs? If you care to elaborate, which statements and by whom give you concern?

When I read women do this or that...it implies that all women are one way or the other. I say "some" men when I speak of men. Not "men lie." That implies all men. I think a more respectful dialogue is when "some" is inserted.

All I know is...if u are this way offline, fellas...the maybe women pick up on it.
SOME women

I hope for those who wish to find love...that u do.


Oh and thank u for asking...I think you're pretty cool.

 

[schema]

there you go, wegs. I edited my comments for you.

 

[Layman]

Start with a big ass smile and simple question embedded in a vulnerable chuckle: " Heh. do think the the rain is going to hit before 12? If i get wet, I'll melt"

You do realize that you just said that cheesy pick up lines work on SOME women.

 

[schema]

You do realize that you just said that cheesy pick up lines work on SOME women.

who says they don't? It is not just a pickup line. it doesn't have to a pick up line. it can be anything. the point it, it is not the message, but rather, they way you package it. A smile sends a message. And a hint of vulnerability/shyness/cuteness/awkwardness goes a long way.

At any rate, it doesn't matter what you say or what you look like. Attraction is based on smell.

 

[wegs]

there you go, wegs. I edited my comments for you.

Oh that reads so much better! Thank you.
You have a lot of editing to do tho...lol :-}

Being a gentleman is a good thing.

Sweet dreams gents. Behave. Lol

 

[schema]

Oh that reads so much better! Thank you.
You have a lot of editing to do tho...lol :-}

Being a gentleman is a good thing.

Sweet dreams gents. Behave. Lol

ha! I'll get started then. I don't intend to generalize. I wasn't aware I was sending that message.