Thing is, it's trivially easy to be on the outside of an idea and make up highly negative statements, and pretend it's an open-and-shut case.
It's standard Christian and Muslim doctrine that the infidels (whoever they are) deserve to be killed and then tortured for all eternity. That may be an unpalatable-sounding way to phrase it for some people, but it is correct.
But it doesn't serve the purpose of helping to answer a question like the OP's. The way to provide understanding is to phrase it in the context of those who support the internal logic.
If you are not actually a member, then it cannot be said that you're someone who can understand the internal logic.
Philosophically and scientifically minded people tend to forget that there is an important psycho-social momentum to actually believing something, a quality that someone outside does not have, however much they may otherwise be capable of understanding some verbally stated propositions. Meaning, an outsider cannot hope to really understand a religious proposition.
Such people also overestimate the role of logical reasoning and plainness when it comes to religious claims. It's not a given that religious claims are to be taken at face value, as they are stated. In religious circles from which those claims stem, there is often a subtext to them that someone outside cannot adequately understand. An insider makes different associations than an outsider.
If we were discussing gun control, and the OP asked why people hold on to their guns, and "you" simply said "the answer is: they're all idiots".
Except that I didn't say such a thing.
That's not a fair or obejctive assessment. Gun owners do have a very good reason - in their own judgment - for hanging on to their guns. To understand them, one must understand their reasoning, even if one disagrees with the conclusion.
And it's that reasoning that I am after, as far as religions go. It just appears that that reasoning may be politically incorrect, to say the least.
There is reason to suspect that religious people don't actually believe much of the religious claims they make and claim to believe, but that deep down, they believe life is a
zero sum game,
a war of all against all. Since this is an utterly discouraging proposition to believe, religious people with their various religious claims and practices, try to medicate that discouragement.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zero-sum_game
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Struggle_for_existence
It bugs me that, as an atheist, I am part of a demographic that tends to lose its sense of decorum when it comes to civilized debates.
A debate cannot be civilized. A discussion may be, but not a debate. Because a debate is all about winning, about getting the upper hand. A debate isn't about understanding eachother or about the truth, although those can be the side-effects of a debate. Note also that a debate requires an arbiter or a judge -- who appoints that judge?
We're not helping ourselves look rational when the best we can do is flame or insult theists.
And while you're trying to be all nice and modest, they are all laughing at you.
If theists really are as superior as they claim, if life really isn't a zero sum game and isn't a war of all against all, then whatever non-theists say or do shouldn't be a problem.