On Republican Jesus
"On Twitter, a lot of the little Twitter trolls, they like to say, 'Oh, Jesus didn't need an AR-15! How many AR-15s do you think Jesus would have had?' Well, he didn't have enough to keep his government from killing him."
That exact approach was predicted by Neal Stephenson a few years ago.
His book Fall is set in a world that has been Facebooked. In the book, that term means "to suborn reality to a non-reality-based consensus." The first instance of this is when Moab, Utah is pranked. A DoS attack cripples communication in and out, and two or three actors produce "footage" that show a mushroom cloud over the city. A fake news conference is televised showing scientists talking about a nuclear weapon being detonated, only to be silenced by the military.
After 12 hours or so one of the protagonists tracks down a personal satellite phone of someone in Moab and calls it. A woman answers and confirms they have not been blown up. It's clear that someone pulled this prank to short the stock market (which crashes) but it's never revealed who. The actors who played their roles are identified and the Chinese CGI house that created the mushroom cloud footage is outed.
However, this does not stop the belief that a large percentage of the population has - that the hoax was real and that Moab is gone. "Remember Moab" bumper stickers appear. And every time someone posts a bunch of pictures from Moab saying "What is wrong with you people? I WAS JUST THERE!" they are called a government plant by a group of Internet people that sound very similar to Qanon.
Fast forward 10 years or so and there are two Americas - the more reality based parts and Ameristan, parts that have reverted to religious fundamentalism, often called Leviticanism. In Ameristan infidels are still crucified for things like wearing cotton/polyester blends or being gay. They still rely on the reality based parts of the country for things like antibiotics and surgery, but maintain that they are the real US; they claim that the rest of the country has abandoned the Second Amendment so they're not really part of the US any more. They stockpile guns and ammunition and build burning crosses. (Crosses, that they insist, are NOT like the KKK.)
In this excerpt, a bunch of recent college graduates comes across a massive steel cross that the Leviticans will soon light on fire. They ask a priest of this new Christianity what's going on. (Edited to reduce length)
===============
“Now, let me take the bull by the horns as far as the KKK Libel." Ted had returned from inspecting the lambs. "Obviously you are not a white person, at least not one hundred percent, and I don't know about him." He cast a glance over at Julian, who was down on one knee feeding a handful of grass through the chicken wire to a lamb. Julian was part Chinese. "There's been all kinds of confusion about us Leviticans. Some kind of imagined link to the Ku Klux Klan."
"Maybe it's because of the burning crosses," Phil suggested, deadpan, gazing across a few yards of gravel to the massive concrete foundation from which the cross's steel verticals erupted.
"Supposedly the KKK burned crosses," Ted said with a roll of the eyes.
“There's no 'supposedly' about it," Anne-Solenne started in. "What are you even—that's like saying supposedly Muhammad Ali was a boxer. Supposedly Ford makes cars. It's—" But Sophia silenced her with a hand on the arm. There was no point.
"If that is even true, it has no connection to our burning crosses, which have a completely different significance. So-called Christianity, as it existed up until recently, is based on a big lie - the most successful conspiracy of all time. And it was all summed up in the symbolism of the cross. Every cross you see on a mainstream church, or worn as jewelry, or on a rosary or what have you, is another repetition of that lie."
"And what is that lie exactly?" Phil asked.
"That Jesus was crucified. That the Son of God, the most powerful incarnate being in the history of the universe, allowed Himself to be scourged and humiliated and taken out in the most disgraceful way you can imagine."
"Taken out' means 'murdered'?" Anne-Solenne asked. It was a rhetorical question that Ted answered with the tiniest hint of a nod.
"The church that was built on the lie of the Crucifixion had two basic tenets. One was the lovey-dovey Jesus who went around being nice to people—basically, just the kind of behavior you would expect from the kind of beta who would allow himself to be spat on, to be nailed to a piece of wood. The second was this notion that the Old Testament no longer counted for anything, that the laws laid down in Leviticus were part of an old covenant that could simply be ignored after, and because, he was nailed up on that cross. We have exposed all that as garbage. Nonsense. A conspiracy by the elites to keep people meek and passive. The only crosses you'll see in our church are on fire, and the symbolism of that has nothing to do with the KKK. It means we reject the false church that was built upon the myth of the Crucifixion."
"So, to be clear, all Christianity for the last two thousand years—Catholic, Protestant, Orthodox, evangelical—is just flat-out wrong," Phil said.
"That is correct. That's the first thing the church did, was enshrine all those gospels. Telling the story they wanted to tell. About the meek liberal Jesus who gave food away to poor people and healed the sick and so on."
"And was crucified and ... resurrected?" Anne-Solenne asked.
"They needed some way to explain the fact that He was still alive, so they invented all that resurrection stuff."
"So where'd Jesus go after that? What did He do?"
"Fought the Romans. Went back and forth between this world and heaven. He has the power to do that."
"Where is He now?"
"We don't know! Maybe here. He has been in eclipse for two thousand years. The conspiracy of the church was powerful. They staged a fake Reformation to get people to believe that reform was possible. All a show. Orchestrated from the Vatican."
"So, Martin Luther was running a false-flag operation for the Pope," Phil said. "In that case—" But he broke off as he felt Sophia stepping on his toe, under the table. He looked down at her. Having caught his eye, she panned her gaze across the entire scene, asking him to take it all in. Reminding him that this wasn't Princeton. This was Ameristan. Facebooked to the molecular level.
============================
This could have been written with Boebert in mind as the character of Ted.