The Most Offensive Jokes Ever!!!

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Can't type as my eyes are watering...

What do you call a Paki Lesbian?


Abdul's wife dies and he wants to put an obituary in the paper. He phones them and finds out its £1 for three words. He's only got a pound so he says 'Just say "Minjita is Dead."' The people at the paper take pity on him and say he can have another three words for free, so he says ' Okay put "Minjita is still open!"'

A Friends of the Earth activist is concerned that her boyfriend doesn't share her passion for the world, the environment and nature.
"Don't be fucking daft!" he says, "Everything I see reminds me of nature."
"Like what?" she asks.
"Well...your pussy reminds me of a gutted trout and your mums looks like a hippo yawning!"
Dammit...I missed one.

A woman turns to her fella and says, 'Say something that will make me happy, mad and sad at the same time.' He thinks about it for a bit and then says, ''ve got a tighter pussy than your baby sister!.'
A half-Jewish, half-black kid asks his mum, "Am I Jewish or am I black?"
"You're just my son" relpies his mother, "but why do you ask?"
"Well," says the boy, "my friend is selling his bike for £50 and I don't know whether to be a good Jewish boy and haggle or just stab the cracker cunt and nick it!"
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