Sex Offenders

Man, everybody is trying to read my mind lately - Tab', Lady... Heh, heh, makes me feel loved. :)

'K, Tab, here's your answers:

I'm a Taurus - I haven't studied zodiac so I have no idea if that's fire or what. I am right on the cusp of Aries. Sad movies - I try to avoid them because the DO make me cry, which then makes me feel weak, and I hate that feeling. I've HAD to be tough for so long, it's hard to admit to weakness. I know that's the wrong attitude, and I'm working on that one.

Choke up with certain music? - you hit that one on the head. Music can move me like nothing else in the world. Next was... Oh, shocking people. Yah, I feel very out of step with the rest of the world a lot of the time. I am shocked by the casual cruelty I see every day, the hipocracy of my co-workers (I won't tolerate that in a friend but I can't control who I work with much), the blind sheep-like attitude of the general masses. At the same time, things come very naturally to me that other people have a huge problem with - my attitudes and practices and beliefs on sex and religion have got me into hot water lots of times before. (That's why I love this forum, nobody here whispers secrets about me, I don't feel so judged here). Hot 'N spicy food - BANG again, you betcha! If my eyes aren't watering and my nose isn't running, it's not hot enough!

Psychic, tab'? I sure hope so! Otherwise, you're someone I know in "real" life, I haven't been being very secretive. I should probably drop this screen name, it's too much like my real one. But I can trust you guys, right? ;)
I think the reason that rape has such an uncommon stigma attached to it is because people can't segregate the aspect of intimacy from the act. It's an act of violence, period. What's wrong is that it's supposed to be the exact opposite in intent and meaning, and for some reason people can't get over that.

I'm sorry Skyblue but I firmly disagree with you regarding your statement about children and sex. Let's think about what God gave us sex for, and then ask yourself why then would kids be doing it? Kids having kids. Oh, and don't tell me all about birth control. For crying out loud, can we possible fuck around (excuse the pun) with the very simple yet astoundingly wonderful gift that God gave us anymore than we have? Don't get me started. If a 15 year old wants to have sex (and we all know that they will soon if not already), then they should be able to get married and have it. The problem is that no one has the right priorities nowadays. It's all about making money. If you're not 28 with a college degree, a house in the burbs with a 2 1/2 car garage, and a day care lined up, it's considered a crime if you have a child nowadays. The father, by the way, should not have kicked his daughter out, but locked her up. Spare the rod and spoil the child ya know. When I look at sex in today's society it always does a great job of putting into perspective exactly how far away from God we all are. :(

"ET phone home!"
"Uh, hello Satan?"
"Hey, your plan worked great! They all think I'm cute!"
Hi Lori!

I don't know what you mean when you are saying you disagree with my statement about children and sex. You think we shouldn't educate kids about sex?? Let me clarify what I'm trying to say...

I think it boils down to realism vs. idealism. Ideally, people shouldn't have sex until they are ready. Realistically, people have sex much earlier than that, right? (I don't want to argue with you about sex before vs. sex after marriage, because I can already tell that you and I probably hold opposite views on that one.)

What I am saying is that, realistically, kids ARE going to have sex. Period. So the best thing we can do is try to educate them before it becomes a hormonal decision, while they're still young enough that it is a mental decision. I dunno if I'm expressing that clearly, let me know if I'm being confusing. A sexually educated 15 year old is more likely to think to him/herself and say "I don't think I'm ready for this. I know there will be plenty of time for this later, when I am more mature". An uneducated 15 year old is more likely to think something like "What is this? I got to find out more about this secret! This is exiting, and it makes me feel good, why shouldn't I go ahead & experiment?? Besides, everyone else is doing it!"

I'm NOT equating educating children about sex with condoning children having sex. Does that mean we shouldn't learn about harmful things? I say no! Education is the best thing we can give to potential sexually active people (which is everyone). Waiting until they are hormonally & emotionally unbalanced (ie - every single 15 year old), then giving them messages that what they are feeling is somehow bad and wrong. It's not bad or wrong for a 15 year old to be sexually attracted to someone - it's just proof that their reproductive and hormonal systems are functional! You just have to hope that they are wise enough to know their limits to what they can handle, physically, socially, emotionally... Children need our support and wisdom, not condemnation and idealistic preachings.

Ultimately, once your child walks out that front door each morning, it is them and them alone who decides whether or not to have sex with that cute boy in 2nd period. Mom and Dad are the last thing on their mind, but their own self-interest is probably first or second. You just have to try to make them understand that wise decisions regarding sex IS in their own self-interest.
I gottcha, and yes I believe that people should not only wait til they're married to have sex, but also be willing to deal with the consequences. I don't believe in the use of birth control. Ironic since I've been such a slut, and on the pill for 15 years! Until recently. You're right in that the difference lies in idealism vs reality. It's really hard to make God's laws "fit" into our reality today, but it's certainly worth trying. By education, do you mean telling them to use condoms or??? I mean, I doubt if there's a 15 year old out there that doesn't realize where babies come from. I think that the best education regarding these issues is God's Word. You don't have sex til you're married, and you have sex knowing full well and expecting the consequence of having a baby. It's so important for kids to have a strong spiritual upbringing fostered by their parents. Lot's of parents not only are not saved in Christ, but don't talk about sex with their kids at all. As a matter of fact, the religious church-going folks may be the biggest culprits of this. Then maybe supplement this with one of those "fake" babies. Do you know what I'm talking about? I've seen them on talk shows; baby dolls that are computerized to act and respond JUST LIKE a real baby. The kids have to take care of them for a week or so, and by the time they give them back, they never want to even think about having sex for a long, long time. I just wish that when a kid did screw up and get pregnant, that they wouldn't be so scared and embarrassed, thinking that their life is ruined, and their parents will kick them out or hate them, or their church will condemn them, or that they're a failure or whatever, that they put their newborn in a dumpster after having it in secret or have an abortion. It's a real shame that parents and families aren't more supportive and less worried about what the neighbors think.

"ET phone home!"
"Uh, hello Satan?"
"Hey, your plan worked great! They all think I'm cute!"
There we go, now we're talking on the same level. (What? Oh, well, you know what I mean)

I, as you might expect, disagree in regards to no premarital sex, no birth control, word of god being the best teacher.

Let me explore this a bit - let's assume for the sake of argument there is a God. OK, now let's figure out, if a woman got married at 15, she would have until, what, about 48 or so until she would be unable to have kids? Okay, say she never uses birth control at all, and ends up cranking out children at about one per year (assuming she's healthy enough to withstand it). No, lets say one every year and a half, just to be conservative. 48 years minus 15, thats 33 productive years. 1 child every 1.5 years, that's 22 children. Let's round that down to 20, nice and even. So, Lori, if my numbers are accurate, that means God wants each healthy woman to have 20 children??? Can you imagine the starvation and famine that would occur if this were the case? We would outgrow our environment massively, even more so than we are now.

Is it a sin to have sex while you're pregnant? You sure aren't going to have a child from the sex, so you shouldn't have it at all, right? Or if you've already had 5 kids and can't afford more, you should stop having sex altogether? Huh, you won't find me following a God that dictates that!! ;)

Here's my opinion - sex feels good for a reason! Out of the maybe 20 times a woman can get pregnant over her life time, she can have sex thousands and thousands of times. If there is a god, I'm convinced he would want us to be happy and to love our fellow man, and what better way to share and become close to another human being than to have sex? To me, the sin comes in abusing the gift - using it to manipulate someone, or to harm them.

Okay, I gotta run. Look forward to debating more later, Lori. :)
Okay, I'm back, and now I'm at home so I can reply at leisure. I am free'd from the chattering hypocrites that bray incessantly around my ears!!!

Okay, now where was I? Oh, yah.

Lori - in reply (still)... By education I mean talking to your youngsters (I'm thinking the 8 year old range, depending of course on the individual) about ALL the consequences and rewards of sex. You got to remember, though, that I have no problems with premarital sex, and I don't believe in your God. So, I of course would leave "God" out of the lectures and instead stress "responsibility".

I agree that 15 year olds know where babies come from. But you can know something, and then you can KNOW something. I have seen stuff on those 'robot' babies you're talking about, and I think they're great! Perfect for teaching about the consequences of pregnancy. BUT, thanks to modern science, pregnancy isn't always a consequence of sex, see?

If I were raising a child right now (by the way, do you have kids Lori? I don't, yet.), I would be EXTREMELY open with them. Children are clued in to a lot of things we don't think they are. I believe that honesty is the best policy. Now, I dont' mean I'd be inviting them to watch me & their dad having sex, so don't think that...

My husband and I have always said that we'd have a bowl of condoms right next to the front door for our kids (and their friends) to help themselves from. I would also try to include their friends in our open conversations about sex. (all of this assuming they are of age, I think around 14 to 15 or so). Why? Because I know kids are going to have sex. They just are. Not all of them, but a lot of them - if not my kid, then one of their friends. And if they're going to have sex, I'd rather them be safe and have a few possibly uncomfortable conversations than to get a call from a gynecologist telling me my kid has herpes or AIDS. And I'd rather reason with or argue with an upset parent about this whole thing than to have some other poor kid catch something science can't cure.

I would teach my child(ren) to be responsible for themselves. I would try to let them know that it's okay to experiment, within reason. I would try to explain to them that there are powerful hormones released during sex, and once you've had sex with someone, that relationship will never be the same. I would try to let them know that I was there for them, regardless of the question or problem, and that I wouldn't judge them or think they were a 'slut'. I would try to let them know that they ought to be careful of who the sleep with, because society will punish you if you're too promiscuous. Above all, I would try to make sure they understood what sex was all about, so perhaps they WOULDN'T be so eager to try it for themselves. While I don't see any harm in premarital sex, I don't think it's wise for immature people to engage in sex. It's too intense, and if you are an emotional mess (ie - everyone going through puberty), it really spells disaster.

Basically, my overall attitude towards sex is that it's natural!! Why be ashamed of it? What good can that possibly do? Will feeling terrible about giving in to a primal urge make you a better person? Will it do you ANY good in the future? Will it teach you anything besides that sex is bad, unless you're an adult (which seems like will never happen to a teen), and married? And what happens if they REALLLY enjoy the sex? How many dumbasses out there (again, we're talking about 15 year olds) have the reasoning structure to think something like "hmm, mom said sex was bad. Sure felt good to me! What ELSE has mom said was bad that might feel good?" (This is the same problem I have with the "War on Drugs", by the way. Create imaginary dangers about one drug - like pot - and you lose credibility about them all)

Okay, now I'm starting to run off at the mouth. (Keyboard??) Plus, damn AOL keeps logging me off. Plus, I had a crappy day at work, and I've been chugging a tumbler of miscellaneous liquor for about half an hour now, so I better stop before I forget how to type! :) (Yah, I know, drinking never solves anything.) Look foward to your reply, Lori. (and anyone else that cares to jump in!)