Old Wives' Tales ...

C

chunkylover58

Make it a ... CHEEEESEburger
Registered Senior Member
I had a coworker comment on a woman who came into my place of business on a particularly warm October day. The woman was wearing shorts, T-shirt and sandals. The coworker said, "What is she, stupid?" I inquired as to her puzzlement. Her response: "You're not suppose to dress like that after the end of summer. You'll catch cold." :bugeye:

Uh...A. it happens to be about 76 degrees out and
B. Unless she's around someone else who happens to have a cold, even if it were 20 degrees out, her being dressed like that wouldn't cause her to catch a cold. (Hypothermia, maybe....cold virus, no).

Anyhoo, this was basically one of those, "My grandma always said ..." kind of backwoods "wisdoms." I'd be interested in "hearing" others that you folks may have encountered....
 
Spank your whackapple too much and you'll go blind.

Chewing your food slower will keep you from getting fat.

That the order in which you consume two different kinds of alcohol has any proven impact on whether or not you get sick. You drink too much alcohol, you throw up. Period.
 
If you do not close the closet door when you go to bed, the boogey man will get you.
 
you can't get pregnant if you have sex standing up.

a ciggarette a day is good for you.

God kills a kitten every time you masturbate.

Picture the scene, a mitusbuishi evo 7 roars past my little runaround on a road in the UK and my granny says, "tisk Tisk, He'll not get there any faster."
 
"That the order in which you consume two different kinds of alcohol has any proven impact on whether or not you get sick. You drink too much alcohol, you throw up. Period."

i hear this one all the time. my friends scold me for drinking ::gasp:: more than one kind of drink in one night! ::shock and awe:: :eek:
they also seem to think that the drop of chocolate syrup (the only thing not alcohol in the entire recipe) we put in our invented drink was what caused alcohol poisoning, not the insane amount of alcohol in it.
 
oh, back to topic...

me mum seems to think that babies without socks or hats on will catch their death of cold. apparently she knows something about viruses that her scientist children don't.
 
Sleeping around with strangers will give you diseases down there.

Playing Russian Roulette with 6 bullets can make you sick or cause bleeding.

Pffftt..mothers...they're so adorable when they spin these crazy tales. :)
 
"AMBER
Amber beads, worn as a necklace, can protect against illness or cure colds."
they don't? :eek: (it's an old swedish tradition for girls to wear an amber necklace for protection)

"BIRD
A bird in the house is a sign of a death."
a bird got into my house via the attic. nobody died.

"EYE
If your right eye twitches there will soon be a birth in the family. If the left eye twitches there will soon be a death in the family."
heh. i developed a severe nervous twitch in my right eye when my best friend's mom died.
 
Pork rind makes your genitals cheesy.

Sprinkle some lemon on your food and POOF- you've dissolved all the calories. You can then eat all the pork rind in Florida.

Watch a dog take a shit and you get these fleshy nubs call 'carnitas' on your caruncle- the inner, pointy ends of your eyes near the nose bridge. Carnitas are something like stys.

Daddy longlegs are incredibly poisonous- the only reason why we shouldn't fear them is that their legs are too long and keep their poisonous fangs from biting you. Never mind that's its usually some trailer park nobody that's telling you this tale in between chugs of old beer.

Never take a bath on Ash Wednesday or Good Friday. You offend the spirits that are out on that day with your nakedness and you pay for this sin with pregnancy. Spanish Catholics are morons.
 
I swear, I get this one from people who sleep over no matter what culture they're from.

When somebody is sleeping on the floor, and I need to get by, I simply step over them.

"AAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!," they yell. Then they ask me to step back over them to counter act the damage. Otherwise, their growth will be stunted. Sometimes I even get this from full grown adults over 6 feet.
 
walking under ladders will curse you.

HELLO. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO CHICAGO? NOTHING BUT LADDERS AND SCAFFOLDING. Avoiding such perils as ladders by walking in traffic is clearly the safer route.
 
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