Clearly one must understand me. If this is true, then, we have heaven.Invert Nexus said:Perhaps to understand the intent of this thread one must also delve into the other thread as well? At the very least the opening post. I'll do so in a bit. I'll answer this post on its own merits first.
Occasionally, I will make an out burst like that. When I do I am screaming those things. That was an example of the outburst. Only on the thread.Or perhaps I misunderstand the sentiment behind your words as well?
I mean that and yes....
Is that what you mean when you speak of responsibility?
Not really. Not fully, at least.What I mean is simple. I've 'advised' you several times that effective communication skills are what you should be seeking to acquire. That without these skills, you are unable to communicate effectively with yourself (i.e. your inability to 'figure yourself out') let alone communicate with others. You're not able to present yourself in a manner which is comprehensible to others easily. There are bits and pieces that seem to come through, but everytime a piece is puzzled out somewhat, a whole rush of other facets of your need come flowing through. You are desperate to understand yourself. All of yourself. And in your need to understand the totality, you overwhelm the ability to understand the part.
Do you understand?
Maybe you could say abstract perhaps in a way that is a use to my constant figurings on self and truth. Abstract as in, less true? [smiley -deleted] Ah, this is fun.If you deal in matters that are more abstract, perhaps you can control the... excitement which bubbles up and carries you away whenever you begin to approach anything that smells of 'goal'.
But I can’t even speak to them. That’s the trouble! Actually, writing this later, I have such a gift/problem, that it is destruction. If only I could do as you say and not forget the part. I’m hoping you’ll respond. Find my “errors.”Focus on the prime task: Learn effective communication skills. Once you've practiced this and become somewhat adept at it, then you can once more turn to the tricky path of delving into your problems once more. I think you might find that many of your problems will have vanished by this time. Merely by learning how to explain them to yourself and to others.
Don’t much like them anymore. Not much. Actually, I do. It’s just as you say means/end. But still, they’re nice in ways. You can’t be racist and expect to like black people. After all buddhism is a philosophy. I don’t really like a hell of a lot about it.You speak of reading Buddhist books. I despise the eastern philosophy of self nihilation. But, this 'advice' I'm giving could well be seen in some ways as similar.
I got flashed with showing my personality. I flashed myself. Like, me mooning you. :3What do you mean here?
No. To boot. So sue. Boo hoo.And I have no idea what you mean by 'to suit'. You use the term in an altogether unorthodox manner here. Do you mean it as in 'to suit your purposes'? Do you mean 'suit' as in 'clothing'? A 'mask' as later mentioned by Duendy?
Well, something like thatAre you asking for what is seen as 'norm' so that you can contrast it with your own?
Well I try to read so I can find something useful.So. I have to wonder why you're reading. And what you get out of it.
Are you able to focus on the words? Do they make sense to you? Perhaps the above quotes are only relating to the spoken word? Direct communication with other?
Not much I don’t think but I have a good idea of it. I like him, he means a lot to me. I don’t know why maybe because he is very good?You are a fan of Sartre as is evidenced by several threads as well as your user name. I wonder, how much of his work did you understand?
To say the least something similarPerhaps you had this very thought in mind when writing it.
I don’t think of myself as smart or intelligent. Not really. I think what I’m doing isn’t good and that somehow I’ve developed it.However, perhaps you are the type that carries this even further? So far, in fact, that it is crippling?
Yes but not savvy. It messes me up and brings me into terrible doubt.When you read, instead of actually reading, do you think about yourself reading? Savvy?
You’re right. I try to read so I can find something useful. But it isn’t. It is a higher order schema as you say.What does reading books have to do with caring for other people?
It seems that when you read, you're contemplating the fact that you're reading.
And you're trying to fit this in with a higher order schema of caring for others.
You're so caught up in trying to fit your reflections on reading in with higher order schemas that the reading is lost entirely? Or at least severely hampered?
That'd be awesome. DuuuuuuudddeeeeeeeThis is the nature of reading your posts however. Puzzling out what you're saying.
I've been contemplating starting a thread entitled: "What did you say, Brent?" Something where you can say stuff and people can try to figure out what the hell you're talking about and thus help you with your communication skills.
YesIt seems to say that instead of reading the book to actually glean the purpose of the book, you rather read the book so as to avoid... inner conflict?
A distraction of sorts?
Yes.And one which, apparently, not too successful if my earlier conjectures are correct.
PracticallyIs this what you mean by responsibility?
Possibly????That's a.... wide open question.
And. Do you really think that it's useful?
Well, it may have an actual use. Is there any theory out there for such a thing? Well well? Who knows. It is broad as is most every term in my idea. I’m not “logical”; sometimes that kills people, you do know? heee, anyway, All I’m saying is the use is a broad thought. It is very hard to destroy a thought a bout a word that has a potential broad meaning. Of courseA zen koan, if you will.
PossiblyIs that what you're saying? A simple definition of normal as in being able to cope socially?
okAnyway. The if-then seems kinda circular.
Please explain this.You fasten onto emotions as being the key method here.
I don’t know if you could explain to meDo you think that's necessarily so?
A part. I don’t know?Emotions certainly play a key role. But do you think that's all of it?
Well?Why are you different?
Really?I can tell you from reading you that your emotional state doesn't seem to be so different.
They can’t because I can’t make them understand me.People don't understand you.
... I can't get out of the telepathic. I seem to be have some sort of awareness. If all people have it? If this? That? I don't know. I'm very aware of things though. Everyone is "inferior" in acting, but will occasionally throw me down. This is only recently at my house. I am not a mean guy. And I am not really proud of this. At all.Do you have any ideas?
I don’t think so. I talk fine just... it’s not good. Put it that way. It’s terrible infact. I’d see the mental health and the existentialists thread for this stuff.Do people have difficulties understanding your speech as much as your written word?
Feature, spec as in car, spec, as in the word for duendy.What is 'fea-spec'?
You are damn good. My favorite philosopher. You’re ludwig in a different form. Hate to break it to you though ludwig was the devil. Use my name PM me lol. I’m such a kidder.You must first ask the right questions...
duendy said:Exista....would you say you find it easier to communicae here in this format than face toface or on the phone..? if so, can you put your finger on why that is. really think about it?
asecondly something that i saw about you in a previous thread is your feelings about women. is tis caus of your relationship with your mum, and/or relatinships with girls?
find it interesting where you got insight abot how 'normality' is imposed. it is true, and what attracts me TO you--via as i read you, is you......Unconventionality. unhibited communications which i find intrigueing. to me it shows your integrity that you ARE communicating uniquely---if you sees what i mean?
ok.....say you was in a room one on one wit someone. would you find that uncomfortable? more so than more...say 3? then wood your discomofrt raise as numbers exceeded 2....to 3 4, 5 etc?
what is the fear you have---again can yo put a finger on it. is itfear of 'social death'---i just plucked tose terms outta the air. what would be THEworst fear you could envisage in an encounter wit peoplle? being seen NOT 'normal'? how would this manifest? do you see death of some kind. for example, stand up comedians talk about 'dying' on stage. this is when their jokes are not laughed at, etc.
No... probably lack of ability to get a girl.asecondly something that i saw about you in a previous thread is your feelings about women. is tis caus of your relationship with your mum, and/or relatinships with girls?
Having (when actually being in a situation of interaction) being seen on the inside and easily and sensitively, and it swelling to ..."death", jesus christ, run away, hitting the something.what would be THEworst fear you could envisage in an encounter wit peoplle? being seen NOT 'normal'? how would this manifest? do you see death of some kind. for example, stand up comedians talk about 'dying' on stage. this is when their jokes are not laughed at, etc.
Kotoko said:Ennui dear.
It's boredom as the result of an intelligent, and perhaps overactive mind. You may feel like your thoughts are scattered and that you can think of many different things at once. Write them down. If you are thinking to fast, buy a personal recorder and record them for yourself. You can play them back at a later time to try to make sense of what you are thinking from an almost outside view.
You are not happy because what you want/need is ever changing as a result of your ennui. This is why many children are searching for more and more stimuli and you will often find them multi-tasking. The world is rife with over stimulation from the media, and from society filled with mixed-messages but all coming at you at 100 miles an hour. Your mind is trying to keep up the pace, and when your enviroment doesn't keep up the pace you start to feel empty. This is normal, and it starts to go away as you get a bit older. It's not an illness, or in need of any medication, but it can be distracting and depressing for a lot of people which does sometimes need medication.
Life is too short to move that fast. I suggest meditation of the visual sort. Envision a place that you have very fond memories of that wasn't filled with a lot of media. Mine is a canoe trip I took with my father. We sat on a rock in the warm sun, the waves lapping gently at our feet while we ate the sweetest plums I have ever tasted. Just think back, it will help you center yourself and possibly not need medication.
Notice Kotoko recommened eyy IPEn meditation--ie vision. you know 'meditation' is a word that omes loaded with all that eaatern mysticism shit. really it does HAVE to be all sat still, eyes shut, goal being some kind of thinky-less state, bla bla. forget all hat. cause if that becomes the expectation this'll meanit puts you off just sittinginvert_nexus said:Hey, Brent. Just wanted to post and say that I will get to a response eventually...
I've been rather busy and caught up in my own problems as well.
Sorry to take so long, but it can't be helped, I'm afraid.
Also. I think you're getting better. Have you noticed? People are starting to understand what you're saying more and more. Don't let this go to your head though. You still have to continue practicing effective communication. Keep at it.
Kotoko,
I wish meditation worked for me. I've never been able to center myself in such a manner. In fact, attempting meditation takes more out of me than I get out of it. It's such a struggle to quiet the headnoise. And I've never successfully completely quieted it for more than a few seconds at a time.
But, then again, I'm not a visual thinker. I think in words. Always have.
It's interesting the differences in people's methods of cognition.