Humour
- Thread starter Benson
- Start date
Trump's new hashtag: #covidfefe
DaveC426913
Valued Senior Member
Knock-knock version:
"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"Coro"
"Coro who?"
"Coro da virus"
"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"Coro"
"Coro who?"
"Coro da virus"
Extended version
. . .
"Coro who?"
"Coro da virus"
"You mean, coronavirus?"
"Yeb, dad's ride"
. . .
"Coro who?"
"Coro da virus"
"You mean, coronavirus?"
"Yeb, dad's ride"
Why is Donald Trump like a Playboy centerfold?
If you want any of what's being promised, you have to deliver it yourself.
If you want any of what's being promised, you have to deliver it yourself.
To restrictive sorry
That would make me Relaxed Humous.
Mine
Shitus Selfus commonly called Oops
Holmes and Watson go on a camping trip
After setting up a tent and enjoying a meal they retire to sleep
After awhile Holmes awoke up
Nudging Watson he asked
Watson look up at the sky ol' chap and tell me what you see?
Watson replied - Well I see a clear sky and millions and millions of stars
What does a clear sky and millions of stars suggest to you?
A clear sky we will have a fine day tomorrow
Millions of stars suggest there might be other planets with life
Star arrangement suggest to some they affect our lives
The current arrangement could give me an approximate time if I could remember how to do the calculation
What do you see Holmes
Well I don't see our tent
After setting up a tent and enjoying a meal they retire to sleep
After awhile Holmes awoke up
Nudging Watson he asked
Watson look up at the sky ol' chap and tell me what you see?
Watson replied - Well I see a clear sky and millions and millions of stars
What does a clear sky and millions of stars suggest to you?
A clear sky we will have a fine day tomorrow
Millions of stars suggest there might be other planets with life
Star arrangement suggest to some they affect our lives
The current arrangement could give me an approximate time if I could remember how to do the calculation
What do you see Holmes
Well I don't see our tent
Too many deaths in America.
Donald Trump: "These doctors testing to see if someone is dead, I think that could be overrated. I think the tests are overrated.
If we didn't test, fewer people would die."
Donald Trump: "These doctors testing to see if someone is dead, I think that could be overrated. I think the tests are overrated.
If we didn't test, fewer people would die."
Given the oft-repeated meme that the Trump presidency is a reality TV show, I thought up some names for his predecessors' efforts at entertaining.
If we start with Reagan, who was actually a star, although his movies probably never got out of B-grade territory.
So, Ronald Reagan was like John Wayne in a movie about fool's gold and the quest for redemption by the Republican party. I think I can call it Unforgiveable.
Then there was George I, and his masterpiece which I like to think of as A Fistful of Oil Shares, in which a man with no brain saves a town from economic despair by destroying it.
Then at last, Bill came to town; this one was just a simple tale, The Administration, about a man who doesn't have sex, even with his wife. Practically a saint.
George II was a bit like Gomer Pyle goes to Washington, and, well, we've seen that movie too.
Then Obama, the fresh-faced kid from faraway Illinois or somewhere; this one was like The Fresh Prince of Pennsylvania Ave; lots of examination of social problems like racism, drug abuse, a few laughs, then the next episode.
Finally Trump, the president with a brain the size of a goldfish. This one doesn't really have a fixed format because nobody is interested in watching someone watch cable news.
If we start with Reagan, who was actually a star, although his movies probably never got out of B-grade territory.
So, Ronald Reagan was like John Wayne in a movie about fool's gold and the quest for redemption by the Republican party. I think I can call it Unforgiveable.
Then there was George I, and his masterpiece which I like to think of as A Fistful of Oil Shares, in which a man with no brain saves a town from economic despair by destroying it.
Then at last, Bill came to town; this one was just a simple tale, The Administration, about a man who doesn't have sex, even with his wife. Practically a saint.
George II was a bit like Gomer Pyle goes to Washington, and, well, we've seen that movie too.
Then Obama, the fresh-faced kid from faraway Illinois or somewhere; this one was like The Fresh Prince of Pennsylvania Ave; lots of examination of social problems like racism, drug abuse, a few laughs, then the next episode.
Finally Trump, the president with a brain the size of a goldfish. This one doesn't really have a fixed format because nobody is interested in watching someone watch cable news.
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Donald Trump is like an old guy in a retirement home, bitching about what's on the TV.
So the nurse gives him the remote, he switches to another channel and starts bitching about what's on the TV.
So the nurse gives him the remote, he switches to another channel and starts bitching about what's on the TV.
America has Trump enemies, what it needs is a Trump enema.
Flush that orange turd, dudes.
Flush that orange turd, dudes.
Trump parts the sea of protestors.
Trump travels to a holy place and holds aloft the sacred tablets.
footnote: political satire might sometimes be interpreted as headlines in an evangelical newsrag.
Trump travels to a holy place and holds aloft the sacred tablets.
footnote: political satire might sometimes be interpreted as headlines in an evangelical newsrag.
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Spotted on fuzzbook:
The Oval Office is officially a broken toilet. If it wasn't there wouldn't be an orange turd floating in it.
The Oval Office is officially a broken toilet. If it wasn't there wouldn't be an orange turd floating in it.