curses

sculptor

sculptor

Valued Senior Member
Does anyone here have entertaining curses that they would like to share?

eg: When I was in the army, I ended up at Fort Ritchie in the operations company. We had a company clerk: Roberto Ramirez who was a brilliant wordsmith.
He came up with many entertaining curses including this curse(which I treasure)
" May the bleeding piles torment you
and corns grow on your feet
and crabs as big as roaches
hang on your balls and eat
and when all the world forsakes you
and you're a total wreck
may your head fall through your asshole
and break your fucking neck"

go Ram

.................................
anyone else?
 
Stoniphi said:
I am still trying to get past "living in interesting times" as per the old Chinese curse. :(
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When I first read:
"May you live in interesting times"
I had thought it an Irish blessing.
Much later. I read that it was a curse associated with the "warring states" period.
Considering the philosophies that came out of that period
I remain confused.
 
Well there's always: "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries".

And: "You'll smoke a turd in Hell for this!" (from a very funny Canadian film I once saw in Dubai, in the 1980s)

Oh and there was an expletive phrase in a humorous French gangster movie, in which at one point, when everything is going wrong, a character exclaims:"Je tourne en merde, je tourne en merde, je tourne en MERDE!!"
 
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Je tourne en merde

translate please
..........
I'm spinning in shit?
I'm turning in shit?
I'm turning into shit?
or...................?
 
exchemist said:
Well there's always: "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries".

And: "You'll smoke a turd in Hell for this!" (from a very funny Canadian film I once saw in Dubai, in the 1980s)

Oh and there was an expletive phrase in a humorous French gangster movie, in which at one point, when everything is going wrong, a character exclaims:"Je tourne en merde, je tourne en merde, je tourne en MERDE!!"
Click to expand...

jeez dad
I was hoping that you could do better than that
......................
A blossoming of the flower of the language?
 
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May your cup of tea be too hot when you get it, and too cold when you remember it’s there.

May the chocolate chips in your cookies be of animal origin.

May your seat make a farting noise... that you can’t repeat to prove it was the seat.

May your avocados never ripen, and your bananas turn to mush.

May all your beer turn to lager!
 
From a long-forgotten novel: "May a thousand syphilitic camels spit in your cous-cous."
A fine period reconstruction from Judy Collins (Anathea)
"Cursed be that judge, so cruel
Thirteen years may he lie bleeding
Thirteen doctors cannot cure him
Thirteen shelves of drugs can't heal him"
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and one of my uncles was very good at this. He had a long one involving an archangel in the top of a willow tree whistling up a whirlwind to carry the offending person off in a cloud of dust.
I'm a lot simpler. I just wish they would grow a big red zit on the tip of their nose, so everyone can see.
 
Art and Culture? Shouldn't this be in Free Thoughts? I would participate but the thread is in the wrong forum, which has spoiled the topic for me. Sorry.
 
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Bowser said:
Art and Culture? Shouldn't this be in Free Thoughts? I would participate but the thread is in the wrong forum, which has spoiled the topic for me. Sorry.
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NO
Read what Ram produced
Is that not art?
I submit that this is the best forum for that sort of "curse"
........................................
get over yourself and contribute/participate
(hopefully something brilliant, and artful
I do not come here to suffer mediocracy.)
 
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Would it be better in the form of a haiku :

Wherever you hide,
my curses will follow you
and bring you to grief.

or maybe a limerick?
 
sculptor said:
NO
Read what Ram produced
Is that not art?
I submit that this is the best forum for that sort of "curse"
........................................
get over yourself and contribute/participate
(hopefully something brilliant, and artful
I do not come here to suffer mediocracy.)
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No, I can't go further while this thread is in Art & Culture. You ruined it for me.
 
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sculptor said:
are you sure that that ain't just an excuse ?
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The thread belongs in Free Thoughts. Though curses can be creative, I've never seen them classified as an "Art Form."

Nonetheless, the Sun is out and my mood is on a positive high, so I don't believe I can rally one, but for you I will try...

...
...
...

Nope, It just isn't in me this morning.

I'm gonna throw a blessing instead...
May you receive..hmm... May you have... May your toiletry be well stocked with butt wipe during the corona crisis, and that your neighbors are never the wiser.
Best wishes, Sculptor.
 
sculptor said:
When I first read:
"May you live in interesting times"
I had thought it an Irish blessing.
Much later. I read that it was a curse associated with the "warring states" period.
Considering the philosophies that came out of that period
I remain confused.
Click to expand...

Orthodox Jewish historian and scholar Yair Davidiy associates Ireland with the Tribe of Dan......
at least a few Danites may well have made it to China......
because some of them or their cousins went even further to Japan... .apparently.......

So your theory could have some validity......

http://beta.moshiach.com/tribes/ns/5.html

https://www.irishcentral.com/culture/entertainment/clancy-brothers-tommy-makem-stephens-day

.......

The vignette also contains some wonderful anti-English ditties:

“Some say the divil’s dead

Some say he’s hardly

Some say the divil’s dead

And buried in Killarney

More say he rose again

More say he rose again

And…joined the British army!”

And the one anti-Orangeman ditty Tommy Makem remembered from growing up in County Armagh in Northern Ireland:

“Up the long ladder

And down the short rope

To hell with King Billy

And God bless the Pope

If that doesn’t do them

We’ll tear them in two

And send them to hell

…With their red, white and blue!”

So, if on your travels this December 26—St. Stephen’s Day—you come across a little wren, remember the Clancy-Makem song—and grant the poor bird a reprieve!
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