Corrupt-A-Wish

Granted, but because you don't have a projection room it generates too much heat and noise for you to enjoy your movies.

I wish I had your projector and a projection room to put it in.
 
Granted… but you can’t afford to pay your electric bill, and you sit in the dark alone, staring at a blank screen.

I wish that someone from here was sitting in the dark with me.
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Granted, but she's just not into you.

I wish I was riding a cable car down to Fisherman's Wharf
 
Granted…but shit happens!
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I wish I was in boat on the Tennessee River.
 
Granted, unfortunately the boat sunk in 50 ft of water last year.

I wish I had some help to get all this mud off my body
 
adoucette said:
Granted, unfortunately the boat sunk in 50 ft of water last year.

I wish I had some help to get all this mud off my body
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Granted --you are eaten by a giant tapeworm. One of the benefits of its digestive acid is its awesome ability to assist with mud being cleaned off.

Your bones pour from its posterior 10 days later squeaky clean.



I wish i had the stamina to run a marathon
 
Granted, but your new found abilities cause you to toss caution to the wind and you attempt to run the across the Island Marathon in Papua New Guinea

You make it halfway

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I wish I had enough super glue to put myself back together.
 
domesticated om said:
Granted --you are eaten by a giant tapeworm. One of the benefits of its digestive acid is its awesome ability to assist with mud being cleaned off.

Your bones pour from its posterior 10 days later squeaky clean.



I wish i had the stamina to run a marathon
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Granted..As a matter of fact you win....Then drop dead of a heart attack due to all the excitement..

I wish I was sitting on a tropical island right now.
 
adoucette said:
Granted, you are in the pot next to domesticated.

Wish I could swim underwater like a fish
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Granted...You are caught by a fisherman, stuffed, and mounted on a plaque..

I wish I owned a Lear Jet.
 
Granted, and for now on it rains wherever your "here" is, 24/7, even indoors.

I wish I could get a day pass outa here.
 
adoucette said:
Granted, and for now on it rains wherever your "here" is, 24/7, even indoors.

I wish I could get a day pass outa here.
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Granted..Only there is no longer "day", only perpetual "night".

The pass is worthless..

I wish I had an umbrella.
 
Granted, but the mold from the perpetual rain rots it through in no time.

I wish I could see in the dark as well as an owl
 
adoucette said:
Granted, but the mold from the perpetual rain rots it through in no time.

I wish I could see in the dark as well as an owl
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Granted..Only in this new world of perpetual night, many creatures have evolved.... Owls are now basically moles with wings....And blind.

I wish I could hang out at the beach right now.
 
visceral_instinct said:
Granted. You fall face first in a dog turd.

I wish I wasn't feeling so motherfucking weak and tired.
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Granted...You are given a 6 pack of Red Bull..You feel great..

However, you are in the middle of a large crowd of people, and no restroom for miles around.

I wish I could type faster.
 
Granted, your dead, you don't feel a thing.

Wish my manhood wasn't so much longer than normal.
 
Granted. You don't have one.

I wish I didn't have really tight fibres in my obliques that pull and tear easily.
 
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