The next Washington Post weekly word contest (the "Style Invitational"): Come up with entirely new and funny Chuck Norris facts. I'll post the results when they come in in about three weeks. The examples they gave to inspire their readers: Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. There's no CTRL key on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is ALWAYS in control And my personal favorite: When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.