Any other engineers at SciForums?

The engineers and accountants joke

An Accountant and Engineering Convention was being held. On the train to the convention, there were both accounting and engineering majors. Each of the engineering majors had his/her own train ticket. But the accountants had only ONE ticket for all of them. The engineers started laughing and snickering. The accountants ignored the laughter.

Then, one of the accountants said, "Here comes the conductor". All of the accountants piled into the bathroom. The engineers were puzzled. The conductor came aboard and collected tickets from all the engineers. He went to the bathroom, knocked on the door, and said "Ticket please". An accountant stuck their only ticket under the door. The conductor took the ticket and left. A few minutes later, the accountants emerged from the bathroom. The engineers felt really stupid.

On the way back from the convention, the group of engineering majors had ONE ticket for their group. They started snickering at the accountants, who had NO tickets amongst them. When the accountant lookout shouted "Conductor coming!", all the accountants again piled into a bathroom. All of the engineers went into another bathroom. Then, before the conductor came on board, one of the accountants left the bathroom, knocked on the other bathroom, and said "Ticket please".

Ah Yeah ! That is funny . I love engineers . They sometimes make my life easier . Not always but a good part of the time if you can get something across to them . Most the time I hire engineers or I would have nothing to do with em in Me personal life except enjoy there products that the rest of the world sues em for having product defect real or imaginary. Keep up the good work and please don't get Me sued
 
Ah Yeah ! That is funny . I love engineers . They sometimes make my life easier . Not always but a good part of the time if you can get something across to them . Most the time I hire engineers or I would have nothing to do with em in Me personal life except enjoy there products that the rest of the world sues em for having product defect real or imaginary. Keep up the good work and please don't get Me sued

If you click the title of the accountant & engineer joke, there are some more there, pretty funny :D

I have to go for now, I now have more than 1500 posts o___O. Ciao
 
Jokes made ​​by engineers or adopted by engineers:
Edward Aloysius Murphy, Jr. (January 11, 1918 – July 17, 1990[1]) was an American aerospace engineer who worked on safety-critical systems. He is best-known for Murphy's law, which is said to state, "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong."
 
Ah Yeah ! That is funny . I love engineers . They sometimes make my life easier . Not always but a good part of the time if you can get something across to them . Most the time I hire engineers or I would have nothing to do with em in Me personal life except enjoy there products that the rest of the world sues em for having product defect real or imaginary. Keep up the good work and please don't get Me sued

An auditor was auditing a project when he asked: What is the height of these poles? An engineeer measured a pole lying on ground and told, 3 metres. Auditor was livid: I want the height and you telling me the length!!
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Another from my personal experience.

I once had to visit and inspect a few warehouses and a barrage. I drove 300 km over potholes. Next day I went to the barrage about 7 km away. On return I submitted my bill. It came back with: Your journey to the barrage which is only 7 km from your camp, cannot be approved, being a local journey. I sent it back with: To the best of estimate VPO [village and post office ] Kalagarh is less than a km by half a km in extent. Journey cannot to called local.

Needless to say the bill was passed.
 
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The origin of the engineer is toy-maker (or toy-destroyer :D).
When I was small child, no toy has survived more than 3-4days.
Always had a screwdriver handy, and a great curiosity what is inside, how it works.
Of course I fail to reassemble the pieces. :eek:
When I grew up a little, I managed to reassemble. :)
Finally I managed to make different "toys"for adults.

3 days!! Gosh. A Barbie was byond retrieval within half a hour with my 3 year g'daughter.
 
Engineers are practical to the core. Is the space curved a la Einstein or just plain attractive force? They do not care, because either way you have to find an energy pack if you want to move.
 
EE

Done heavy Automation Engineering for Rocket to Aerospace to Refineries to Steel etc...does include cloud computing and artificial intelligence for the Navy...

But also have done Mechanical, Chemical (Nuclear too) and some Civil work (water resources management)....
 
EE

Done heavy Automation Engineering for Rocket to Aerospace to Refineries to Steel etc...does include cloud computing and artificial intelligence for the Navy...

But also have done Mechanical, Chemical (Nuclear too) and some Civil work (water resources management)....

Fun stuff, you sound like more of a generalist. I'm very specialized in Automotive structures now, so I miss that. I used to analyze/test equipment used in steel processing, that was a good gig but we don't have a significant primary metals industry in the US any more.
 
Engineers are practical to the core. Is the space curved a la Einstein or just plain attractive force? They do not care, because either way you have to find an energy pack if you want to move.

If it isn't useful kick it to the curb.
 
Me, Civil Engr, PG in Hydrology and PG Dip in Heavy Construction Machinery.
I did a lot of work with Caterpillar so I can relate to your Heavy Construction Machinery, what sort of machines have you worked on?
 
BS and MS in structural engineering from UC San Diego. Funny how I joined SF before I even got a high school diploma... my how times fly!

Structural by education, but mechanical by profession. I work on stress analysis and mechanical reliability analysis for spacecraft pressure regulators.
 
I am trying to solve Africa's engineering issues now...it is not science, it is psychotherapy...

for Africa mostly has about 70 KWH pr power per person when the major industrial countries have over 7000 KWH per person in energy use...among other things like not much rail road, road or other basic infrastructures...
 
One of the problems faced by Africa is connected to the contrast between tribal and civilization. Both are valid social organizations. The difference is tribal organization can only support populations up to about 100,000 people (more or less), while civilization has no upper population limit; china, india, etc.

If tribal approaches the population limit, it splits into two tribes. This tribal split creates problems when trying to create infrastructure, since exceeding the tribal limit, creates less incentive to help the overlapping tribes. Tribal creates priorities connected to the best interest of the tribe. Too much outside influence can disrupt the tribe, while the logistics of civilization; roads, etc., exceed tribal parameters by making too much overlap.

As an analogy, say you are having a family party. Everybody knows each other and there is a nice mingling of people. If we suddenly added a bunch of neighbors and their families, where most of the dual relatives don't know each other, the composite will often move to opposite sides of the room, with some people going back and forth. There is not enough intimacy for one tribe. Some people will not feel comfortable if they were forced into this.

Civilization is different, since it is less about blood intimacy. It more like going to a sporting event where all types of people are there, most of which you don't know. They don't share blood relation or natural intimacy, but rather a common mental abstraction (home team). In the case of the party, say family and neighbors, after splitting, both realize they are all like the same sport team abstraction and their team is in the playoffs. We put the game on, and there is mingling. It is not about blood anymore but about a common abstraction.

The resistance is at the social transition between tribal and civilization. Civilization has advantages at the level of logistics, while tribal has advantage at the humanistic level connected to natural intimacy. It is hard to do both at the same time, since intimacy breaks down at levels where the logistics of civilization really start to create economies of scale.

This is why many African Americans often have trouble; the tribal unit is too limiting as a subset for civilization. They get left out of the advantages of civilization. To take advantage of civilization they need to leave the tribe. While immigrant Africans do better since they choose civilization, since the home tribal way is way too limited in logistics. They go back to Africa to feel the intimacy of the tribe, and then back to USA and Europe to enjoy the logistics of civilization.
 
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