Anyway here's the story: Some girl who really liked me for like three years and I hung out and then blah blah stuff happened.
Did you hang out with her because you enjoyed her company? Or did you hang out with her because she was attracted to you and you hoped you'd be able to manipulate her into having sex?
Anyway I don't like her at all but I kind of blurted out that I loved her while she was doing something so she'd do something else.
I don't know what kids mean when they say "like." You must have liked her or you wouldn't have been friends with her for three years. I assume you mean that you didn't have any romantic feelings toward her and just wanted to be friends.
There's an old saying: "A man falls in love with the woman who has sex with him; a woman has sex with the man she's in love with." So it's a common situation for a woman who loves a man to have sex with him, and then eventually the man falls in love with her. If you guys were 30 I might say that she did it in the hope that you would fall in love with her and then you'd be a happy couple. At 16 nobody is that sophisticated so she probably just screwed you because she wanted to and wasn't thinking much about the future.
At sixteen you're ruled by your raging hormones and will screw any firl who is reasonably attractive and makes herself available. If your girlfriend didn't know this then she will have to accept this as one of life's little lessons. Adolescence is full of them, that's why we try to protect you kids from having too many of these experiences too quickly and being overwhelmed by the consequences of your astoundingly bad judgment.
The lesson for you is that if you give in to physical desire you might hurt somebody, and it might be somebody who trusted you and who you didn't really want to hurt. And your other friends might think you're an asshole, especially your female friends who don't look at life the same way you do. Women mature a little faster than men so if your disapproving friend is the same age as you chronologically, she is a little more sensible than you are and thinks you're acting like a kid. Of course when she grows up she'll realize that, emotionally, you were a kid so it was unfair to expect you to act any differently.
It would be nice if you could apologize to both of these girls. It would be nicer if you would learn from this experience. It would be really nice if next time you would try to be a little more mature and think about how what you're doing is going to affect the other person, instead of thinking only about your dick!
But in the long run just file this away as a lesson. If you lose two friends because of something thoughtless you did, it probably won't be the first time. Life is tough.
The last conversation we had, basically right after it happened, I tried to tell her that I really, really couldn't control myself and most guys would've done a similar thing.
This is why most adults think that kids your age should not be allowed to have so much freedom that you can be having sex. It's unreasonable to expect you to be able to control yourselves. Not only can you hurt somebody emotionally, but in the heat of passion you can forget to use contraception and get her pregnant, and even if she's on the pill or something you could pick up an STD.
So yeah, how bad should I feel, am I right in thinking most guys would do the same thing, and did my friend overreact or was she right?
I don't know about most guys, but many guys would have done that at your age. I was in high school when the Sexual Revolution was just starting, but sixteen-year-olds just didn't have the kind of freedom you do so for most of us there was no chance of having sex. By the time I had that much freedom I was older and in college and I had developed a rudimentary sense of responsibility, not to mention more self-control. I didn't have sex until I was nineteen and it was with a girl I was in love with, and eventually she became my first wife.
It's really nice if your first experience is with someone with whom you have an emotional relationship, not just physical. But if that's not possible, at least try not to hurt somebody. Don't take advantage of someone else's feelings. That is, basically, lying.
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