Asperger's Syndrome

[Bells]

The bolded part of your statement is bigoted. Aspies do not lack empathy. They have a different kind of empathy than Neurotypicals. I can understand and appreciate neurotypical empathy. You seem to have a problem extending your Neurotypical empathy to include understanding and appreciation of Aspies.

---Futilitist

Your actions on this forum shows you have a lack of empathy. Case in point where you declared a member of this forum suffered from Alzheimers and went through and detailed how and why you think this is so.

You may or may not be very bright, I have yet to see you being very bright on this site. What is clear, however, is that you do not know how to communicate with people and you do lack empathy.

Syne's statement was not bigoted. He was stating observable fact after having observed you.

 

[Futilitist]

Your actions on this forum shows you have a lack of empathy. Case in point where you declared a member of this forum suffered from Alzheimers and went through and detailed how and why you think this is so.

You may or may not be very bright, I have yet to see you being very bright on this site. What is clear, however, is that you do not know how to communicate with people and you do lack empathy.

Syne's statement was not bigoted. He was stating observable fact after having observed you.

Is this the official position of this forum?

James R, do you agree with Bells?

 

[Bells]

Is this the official position of this forum?

James R, do you agree with Bells?

You wish to seek clarification as to whether the official position of this forum is that you are incapable of showing empathy and understanding by your actions on this site?

One more point - a person with Asperger's, who does not truly appreciate the nuances of interpersonal interactions, may very well regard good interpersonal skills as a waste of effort. To some extent, they don't even comprehend why such things matter at all. So, it is natural that they regard other skills, such as "technical" skills as more important or useful.

So, perhaps it's a waste of time trying to argue Futilitist out of his belief that his particular personal orientation is superior to that of the majority of "neurotypicals". He probably is actually incapable of understanding what value there is in the "neurotypical" mind.

[Post 134]

Futilitist, from the moment you started posting on this site, you have been argumentative, insulting, you demeaned others and generally acted in a very rude and confronting manner. You continuously dragged issues you have had on other sites to this site and even went so far as to accuse others of things they had not done because they may have shared the same name of someone you did not like on another site. And that was minor compared to the insulting and demeaning stunt you attempted to pull against another member of this site in the last week.

Syne was not being a bigot when he pointed out that "Aspies" lack empathy. You have been a prime example of that from the moment you started posting here. He was point out something that is known about people who are "Aspies". It is also a documented fact.

So please, stop with the accusation of bigotry.

And can I also add, sending me a PM demanding I respond or clarify what was plainly obvious because I did not respond immediately to your post seeking this clarification is not appreciated. I do have a life and am not here 24/7.

 

[Futilitist]

You wish to seek clarification as to whether the official position of this forum is that you are incapable of showing empathy and understanding by your actions on this site?




Futilitist, from the moment you started posting on this site, you have been argumentative, insulting, you demeaned others and generally acted in a very rude and confronting manner. You continuously dragged issues you have had on other sites to this site and even went so far as to accuse others of things they had not done because they may have shared the same name of someone you did not like on another site. And that was minor compared to the insulting and demeaning stunt you attempted to pull against another member of this site in the last week.

Syne was not being a bigot when he pointed out that "Aspies" lack empathy. You have been a prime example of that from the moment you started posting here. He was point out something that is known about people who are "Aspies". It is also a documented fact.

So please, stop with the accusation of bigotry.

And can I also add, sending me a PM demanding I respond or clarify what was plainly obvious because I did not respond immediately to your post seeking this clarification is not appreciated. I do have a life and am not here 24/7.

Thank you for the clarification. I will not bother you again.

---Futilitist

 

[Futilitist]

Congratulations Syne!

Syne,

This thread is now yours. Enjoy.

Thanks everyone. Good bye.

---Futilitist

 

[elte]

I do regard the neurotypical emphasis on socialization as largely a waste of time and effort. It is often difficult for neurotypicals to appreciate this because intense socialization is just the way things are done. They rarely stop to think about it or even notice.

This is what I determined. What is recorded from history shows people care about past deeds that are extraordinary and important. I see a disconnect between what average minded people really want or need and their daily lives that contain so much unimportant stuff.

 

[elte]

It appears that my favorite teacher of all had Asperger's. He was very conscientious and kind. He was a holocaust survivor and I grieve how leukemia took him.

My other favorite also seems to have had it. Aspergereans seem to have a mutual attraction because it seemed like he was talking to me during class instruction as his eyes were so often in my direction.

 

[Syne]

[lack of empathy] is a major diagnostic criteria

It may be a major diagnostic criteria, as you say, ...

Enough said. Everything else is completely superfluous.

 

[Syne]

Apparently this is now my thread.

Syne,

This thread is now yours. Enjoy.

Maybe you should keep an eye on your new Asperger's thread instead of harassing me here.

Scientifically, it only makes sense that neurotypicals should be at the forefront of even research onto Asperger's, as there are vastly more of them to confirm a scientific consensus and aspies are necessarily biased on the subject. Now that does not mean that necessarily subjective, self-reported symptoms and perceptions are useless. After all, you cannot study a subject without access to data.

But frankly, asking an aspie to be the authority on AS is as foolish as asking the depressed to manage their own depression. There is good reason these are disorders, as they infer a hindrance of some operation.

 

[Beer w/Straw]

You are a mysterious little pussy cat.

I was conducting an experiment with my own head. The conclusion being that I can learn faster from my mistakes by making them really really fast!

Fun times.

:EDIT:

Like seeing how I misspelled "own."

 

[Futilitist]

Too much of a good thing?

I was conducting an experiment with my own head. The conclusion being that I can learn faster from my mistakes by making them really really fast!

Fun times.

Since all learning is experiential, your approach would seem to make some sense. But if you make mistakes too fast, you will have no time to reflect on what you have learned, i.e. you won't learn.

---Futilitist

 

[Beer w/Straw]

Perhaps I should start a new thread as my thoughts are way way waaaaay too sciency.

 

[R1D2]

You wish to seek clarification as to whether the official position of this forum is that you are incapable of showing empathy and understanding by your actions on this site?
Futilitist, from the moment you started posting on this site, you have been argumentative, insulting, you demeaned others and generally acted in a very rude and confronting manner. You continuously dragged issues you have had on other sites to this site and even went so far as to accuse others of things they had not done because they may have shared the same name of someone you did not like on another site. And that was minor compared to the insulting and demeaning stunt you attempted to pull against another member of this site in the last week.
Syne was not being a bigot when he pointed out that "Aspies" lack empathy. You have been a prime example of that from the moment you started posting here. He was point out something that is known about people who are "Aspies". It is also a documented fact.

So please, stop with the accusation of bigotry.

he may be acting or lashing out. Because he might have started off on the wrong foot so to speak and has drawn a lot of rude posts towards him. Been flamed, and lured. Had comments unkind directed his way. They seem to never stop. Some people that have asperger's have different degrees of the "disability". Some "function" better then others. And some do not. Granted some member confusion has happened and a few wrong things may have been said. But we need some true understandings, apologies and a few fire extinguishers.

I do have a life and am not here 24/7.

What's your point? Most of us do...
Even me

 

[James R]

Futilitist:

I do regard the neurotypical emphasis on socialization as largely a waste of time and effort.

I'm not surprised.

I agree that humans will not head for the stars. Can you explain why you think this is true?

It's a sheer matter of logistics and economics. There will always be far too many people alive on Earth for us to be able to afford to lift even a reasonable fraction of them into space. I believe some small proportion of us will colonise other planets, at least, but the vast majority of Earth's population will never leave the planet. If we do end up establishing large populations elsewhere, it will be because those people are born out there, not lifted there from Earth.

Is this the official position of this forum?

You misunderstand how the moderation of this forum works. Unless there is a real need a consensus to be imposed from the top down, moderators here are quite free to make their own decisions and judgments on things. Rather than "official" proclamations handed down from above, we often work on a majority-consensus model. In practice, that often means that if no other moderator is complaining about your actions as a moderator, then the assumption is that they do not disagree stidently enough about your decisions for it to matter.

James R, do you agree with Bells?

On the particular matter of starting a thread calling out people who you believe may have Asperger's, I agree entirely with Bells. Such an action shows a lack of respect for the privacy of others, combined with an arrogance that you can diagnose people on a written forum such as this, based on reading a few posts.

Your behaviour since you arrived here has been to antagonise other posters and moderators (although the moderators here are used to such things and mostly have thick skins). I'm not sure whether you are aware that this is what you are doing or not. But it does show a lack of empathy.

 

[wynn]

On the particular matter of starting a thread calling out people who you believe may have Asperger's, I agree entirely with Bells. Such an action shows a lack of respect for the privacy of others, combined with an arrogance that you can diagnose people on a written forum such as this, based on reading a few posts.

Your behaviour since you arrived here has been to antagonise other posters and moderators (although the moderators here are used to such things and mostly have thick skins). I'm not sure whether you are aware that this is what you are doing or not. But it does show a lack of empathy.

It's more an example of living out the diagnosis.

There is a pressure for people with (esp.) psychiatric diagnoses to live according to those diagnoses. It is a kind of stereotype, prejudice, projective identification:

"Tom has been diagnosed with Asperger's. Therefore, I will treat Tom accordingly. I will expect of Tom only the things that the formal definition of Asperger's states these people are capable of. I will otherwise judge him and see him as defective."

Such expectations then deteriorate the communication between people.

People who have been diagnosed sometimes make an effort to fit into the diagnosis, because they are directly or indirectly pressured to do so by others, and also in the hope of protecting themselves ("If I fit in with the ideas others have of me, I will be safe").
It is a paradoxical and painful predicament, as the diagnosed person, in order to feel good and safe, has to believe they are defective. It's no wonder they act out and aren't particularly sociable.


It has consistently been my experience that not tailoring my interactions with people according to the formal diagnoses they've been assigned, makes communication with them much easier, much more meaningful, and they exhibit much fewer of the diagnosis symptoms, if at all.

 

[R1D2]

I like your post wynn (#155)

In a way reminds me of the school bully's and out casts. And the "uber" popular.

 

[Futilitist]

You misunderstand how the moderation of this forum works. Unless there is a real need a consensus to be imposed from the top down, moderators here are quite free to make their own decisions and judgments on things. Rather than "official" proclamations handed down from above, we often work on a majority-consensus model. In practice, that often means that if no other moderator is complaining about your actions as a moderator, then the assumption is that they do not disagree stidently enough about your decisions for it to matter.

On the particular matter of starting a thread calling out people who you believe may have Asperger's, I agree entirely with Bells. Such an action shows a lack of respect for the privacy of others, combined with an arrogance that you can diagnose people on a written forum such as this, based on reading a few posts.

I never started a thread calling anyone out for having Asperger's. Please produce evidence that I have. I did start a thread which accused a member here of being one of the same people I was in conflict with on the two other sites. That was Ohphiolite. Whatever else I said about him was based on his own explicit admission of something other than Asperger's. I also publicly attempted to reach out to him to resolve our conflict. He refused.

And it has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that Syne has been trolling every thread I have been on. And that he has been openly rude and insulting to all people with Asperger's on I thread I created to be positive and affirming. That was what I asked Bells to moderate. She issued me a warning, instead! After that, I asked her and you if the official position of this science site was open, bigoted hostility toward people with Asperger's syndrome. Is it?

I then immediately abandoned the thread to avoid further conflict. But conflict is following me anyway.

Your behaviour since you arrived here has been to antagonise other posters and moderators (although the moderators here are used to such things and mostly have thick skins). I'm not sure whether you are aware that this is what you are doing or not. But it does show a lack of empathy.

My initial behavior here was based on my experience, so I was a little jumpy. I was involved in a dispute with a moderator on one science forum (thescienceforum.o r g). After I was banned from that science forum, I went to another (thescienceforum.c o m), and found myself "welcomed" there by the same staff who had banned me from the first site. I was then banned from that site. I then came to this forum only to find Ophiolite, marnixR, iNow, SkinWalker, Ascended, and the whole crew. MarnixR and SkinWalker have both returned to this site after long (5 year) absences, to be involved in threads that I am posting in.

I was recently unbanned from thescienceforum.o r g. Here is what just happened there:

Futilitist - I have hidden your most recent post to this thread. I am not comfortable with you (or others) sharing private messages out in the open, even though it was from another forum and you made the source of the message anonymous.

I will unhide the post if you get permission from the other individual that they don't mind you sharing their words openly with others. If you already have their permission to share their private correspondence, or if you obtain their permission, I will unhide the post since it was actually related somewhat to the thread topic. Thanks.

iNow, here is the explicit permission you requested:

Aspie,

I want to use part of our PM conversation in a post on a thread on Asperger's syndrome on another forum (thescienceforum.o r g). I won't use your name. Please read over the following post. This is how it will appear:

<The post that has been hidden by you, iNow>

I need your written permission if it is OK. Please let me know as soon as you can. Thanks.

Since it is on the other forum and since I am anonymous, I think it is OK. Good luck.

You can post this permission as well if you want, but it would probably be better for general readability if you just unhid the original post. Your call. Thanks.

---Futilitist

The post appeared, and later was pulled.

I have a strange feeling that you wrote that "reply from Aspie" yourself (just due to the sentence and word structure).

I apologize if it feels like I'm moving the goalposts, but please have your Aspie friend create an account here and PM me directly that they approve.
Otherwise, I must take your word for it, and I'm not willing to do that since you've hardly engendered a sense of trust with your behavior and posts in this community.

Also - I know you tend to be pedantic so it's better that I be as clear as possible. I did not actually "hide" your post. We don't have the ability to hide posts within a thread. We can either delete them or move them, but not hide them. What I did was to move your post to a different thread in a forum that is invisible to members. If I get a personal message from your Aspie friend, I will just move that post from the invisible forum back into this thread.

Will you feel silly if it turns out that I am telling the truth?

If my Aspie friend signs up and tells you the truth, you will have his IP address. I will not put him in danger. I don't see how you could confirm this absolutely anyway.

Why would I lie about this?

My sentence structures reflect the posts that I am answering too. You are just wrong.

Have it your way.

Go ahead and throw this post in the trash as well. Make sure to cover your tracks completely.

I resent and am offended by the accusation in this and other posts of yours. This is our forum. It is *not* a democracy nor do I give two shits about your feelings or lack of them. If you respond to me with anything other than something very, very close to "I apologize for my behavior," I will personally remove your access to this site. You're disruptive and we'd be better off without you.

I have not yet responded to SkinWalker at thescienceforum.o r g and now suddenly, after a five year hiatus, he is here:

http://www.sciforums.com/showthread.php?132977-Is-this-a-real-science-forum/page5

My last post was probably: http://www.sciforums.com/showthread....=1#post2429833

There was a recent forum softare upgrade that seems to have adversely affected search functions, which, with vBulletin, extends to the way a member's posts are displayed when clicking from that member's profile.

And I am the owner and one of the administrators of thescienceforum.org.

Apparently I'm still welcome here as a moderator as well since my privilages still seem intact

And now, right after SkinWalker's reappearance on this site as a moderator, you answer my question. It would seem that a moderator "majority-consensus" about me is forming here. Everything I say just keeps being interpreted in the worst possible way.

I am getting a very uncomfortable feeling.

---Futilitist

 

[Futilitist]

It's more an example of living out the diagnosis.

There is a pressure for people with (esp.) psychiatric diagnoses to live according to those diagnoses. It is a kind of stereotype, prejudice, projective identification:

"Tom has been diagnosed with Asperger's. Therefore, I will treat Tom accordingly. I will expect of Tom only the things that the formal definition of Asperger's states these people are capable of. I will otherwise judge him and see him as defective."

Such expectations then deteriorate the communication between people.

People who have been diagnosed sometimes make an effort to fit into the diagnosis, because they are directly or indirectly pressured to do so by others, and also in the hope of protecting themselves ("If I fit in with the ideas others have of me, I will be safe").
It is a paradoxical and painful predicament, as the diagnosed person, in order to feel good and safe, has to believe they are defective. It's no wonder they act out and aren't particularly sociable.


It has consistently been my experience that not tailoring my interactions with people according to the formal diagnoses they've been assigned, makes communication with them much easier, much more meaningful, and they exhibit much fewer of the diagnosis symptoms, if at all.

wynn,

I agree with R1D2. This is a very insightful post. Projective identification is what is happening to me here on this site. When I get jumpy and respond in anger to the way I am being treated, it just gets rolled into the case already made against me. I can do no right.

---Futilitist

 

[Futilitist]

A note to the mods.

I tried to post post#157 and it went into moderation due to the bug. I used the workaround I came up with to make the post. There will, therefore, be a duplicate post in the cue. Please be aware of this and do not post it. Thank you.

---Futilitist

 

[Bells]

I never started a thread calling anyone out for having Asperger's. Please produce evidence that I have. I did start a thread which accused a member here of being one of the same people I was in conflict with on the two other sites. That was Ohphiolite. Whatever else I said about him was based on his own explicit admission of something other than Asperger's. I also publicly attempted to reach out to him to resolve our conflict. He refused.

James probably meant the Alzheimer's thread. Suffice to say, you started a thread and diagnosed a member of this site with Alzheimer's and you were insulting and demeaning about it. You had no right to do that. You have also repeatedly brought up your issues that you have had with him and others and even falsely accused others because of issues you had with people you thought were them on other sites. Despite repeated warnings and requests from me to cease and desist in such behaviour. Let me make something very clear to you Futilist. Whatever happens on other forums stays on those other forums.

Are you even aware that those members may not want others to know where they are posting? You are not only trying to continue your fights with them here on this site, but you are also invading their privacy by telling all and sundry where else they may be posting.

And it has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that Syne has been trolling every thread I have been on. And that he has been openly rude and insulting to all people with Asperger's on I thread I created to be positive and affirming. That was what I asked Bells to moderate. She issued me a warning, instead! After that, I asked her and you if the official position of this science site was open, bigoted hostility toward people with Asperger's syndrome. Is it?

And you were not rude?

Have you forgotten your behaviour towards members and staff of this site when you first started posting here?

Your repeated attempts to say that this site is somehow bigoted towards people with Asperger's is ridiculous in the extreme. No one cares if you do or do not suffer from it. You keep falling back on it as though it is a crutch. No one here cares of you have it or not. What we do care about is the content of your posts. Now, in discussing Asperger's in general. You seem to get offended and take it personally if someone points out known facts about Asperger's.

You also seem to expect that I will allow you to abuse and insult people as a result of your Asperger's. No. I won't. We have many members who are Aspies. No one cares. Some have told us and others have let us know about it in a round about way. Again, no one cares. That is not what matters on this site.

If someone disagrees with you about something or anything, it is not because you have Asperger's. It is because of the content of your posts.

As for warnings I have issued to you in threads and infractions I have given you. I have warned you several times to cease and desist in dragging issues you have had on other sites. And you keep ignoring me. I have also issued you an infraction for the obscenely offensive post you made about Oph. But this thing you have with people from other sites which you keep on dragging here has to stop.

My initial behavior here was based on my experience, so I was a little jumpy. I was involved in a dispute with a moderator on one science forum (thescienceforum.o r g). After I was banned from that science forum, I went to another (thescienceforum.c o m), and found myself "welcomed" there by the same staff who had banned me from the first site. I was then banned from that site. I then came to this forum only to find Ophiolite, marnixR, iNow, SkinWalker, Ascended, and the whole crew. MarnixR and SkinWalker have both returned to this site after long (5 year) absences, to be involved in threads that I am posting in.

If you keep calling out to them and accusing them of everything and blaming them for everything and demanding to know about their time here and their posting history, then yes, they may respond.

You go out of your way to try and draw their attention and then you get offended when you get it?

Really?

And you think we are blind to it?

Here is what just happened at thescienceforum.o r g:

Why are you dragging this into this forum and thread again?

No one gives a crap about what happened on other sites, Futilist.

How many times do I have to ask you to stop doing this?

And now, right after SkinWalker's reappearance on this site as a moderator, you answer my question. It would seem that a moderator "majority-consensus" about me is forming here. Everything I say just keeps being interpreted in the worst possible way.

I am getting a very uncomfortable feeling.

You are also paranoid.

There is no moderator consensus. You seem to think that we care about you enough to be trying to form a consensus about you. Trust me, we don't. Skin returned because you kept on going on and on about him and his site on this site. What did you expect?

I'll put it this way. IF you keep banging on the door, don't be surprised when someone answers it.

Now, consider this your last warning that I will issue you in public about this. Cease and desist in dragging your issues from other sites to this site. No one here cares. We don't want to know. If you do it again, I will issue you with another infraction.