Yay! Schadenfreude

I'll try to remember that.
Thanks.

No, it's not quite as strong (or as long-lasting) as gloating.

 

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Malicious delight then ? Ok, that's two words.. lol

 

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I always feel bad when I hear stories like this. The fact that no one loved this girl enough to raise her right, and to pay enough attention to her is sad. That she became someone who was mean and nasty because she wanted attention, is also sad. Now she is going to raise her children the same way, with no real understanding of love and compassion. She lacked the tools to be a good person, and now she lacks the tools to be a good parent, and I feel sorry for her. It's hard to live like that with only small pockets of acceptance and love earned through struggle and bad behaviour and no real and true understanding of love.

Maybe she'll learn along the way. I hope for her kids sake, so they don't end up like her.

 

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How do you know ? Maybe she just likes being a bitch.

 

yeah, I agree Enmos

 

Yeap, just like most other younger adults/older teenagers.

I don't have one bit of sympathy to the kinds of people in my class who have no aim/point in life. And there are tons of them...

 

Your make believe pity story disgusts me.
I hate when people do pop-psych bullshit to explain why people have bad lives. You may as well just invoke Jesus or some other unsubstantiated bullshit.

 

So nuture doesn't have a role at all on the way we act as adults?

It's not pop-psyche bullshit. It's recognized and researched studies into human behaviour. I give people benefit of the doubt when I see someone acting like an ass and I hope that it's caused by something and not just a mental defect. I'm an optomist I guess. I hope people aren't inherently bad people. If I'm proven wrong, so be it... but often time there is something there... low self-esteem, lack of attentive parenting, seperation issues... sometimes, there is something there and I'd rather not judge people harshly without knowing more about them. When we take that time to get to know people, sometimes it makes them better people and benefits them. It's called compassion, and I won't apologize for it.

Yes, more hippie bullshit but I'd rather know that I gave everyone a chance with an open heart than be hardened and jaded.

 

What does it matter anyway ? It sure doesn't matter to the victims..

But why would you feel compassion for an asshole ?

 

For the same reason I'd feel compassion for the victim. Because everyone needs a little understanding. Everyone is a better person with a little love and understanding.

If more people gave a shit about each other, we'd have less problems in the world.

I'm a small ripple in a big ocean but at least I know I did my best, and that I did it with hope and a smile. I don't care if they treat me like shit in return, that's a reflection on them and not on me. I'm going to keep trying to make waves either way.

Why is the victim more valuable than the asshole?

Why does it matter? Because everyone matters.

 

She acted like a idiot at high school and didn't prioritize her life, and she got pregnant, her mistake she has to live with it.

 

Why does that matter? Don't you think her life would be better if we showed her some compassion instead of stooping to her level and mocking her?

I dunno. I guess I don't take people's behaviour at face value. I listen and throw away the garbage parts, and sometimes... it's all garbage parts. But I am still going to treat them all with compassion, even if they don't want to listen and learn. Maybe because I've been a shitty person at times, maybe because I've been down and out, maybe because I'm not perfect. What changed me, is the little ripples and I don't see a problem doing the same.

 

People like these you can try and tell them, but there's no point they're already deep down the wrong path, they just won't realize till they drop down and can never return.

 

<3 Liebs. That was nice.

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VI, I understand feeling vindicated. If anything, I hope it serves as a reminder to practice safe sex. I know how easy it is when you're a smart person to be excluded. I've been that girl. That's a tough position. Being a young mom isn't easy either. Those little children are probably doomed to an endless cycle of poverty. Don't be happy. Go apply yourself and do your best, but don't be happy about human suffering, ever. I think you're the bee's knees, FWIW.

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What if you were the victim ? Would you still feel compassion for your tormentor ?

 

Why is human suffering so special? There are thousands of animals everyday which are suffering much more.

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What the fuck does that have to do with the price of tea in China?

For the record, I've volunteered with spay/neuter programs since I was 11. I've done a lot of animal volunteer work. Don't talk down to me again.

Stay on topic.

 

Been there, done that.

And yes, I did and still do feel compassion for him. I still feel that the time that I spent with him changed him for the better. There is something broken inside of him, but the kindness I showed to him softened him even if he didn't deserve that compassion by most peoples standards. And yes, it almost killed me... but no, I wouldn't go back and change it because it may have prevented a murder. *shrug* Now that I have kids, I wouldn't put myself in danger like that but it's incredible what a little compassion can do to a person and it doesn't matter much if it does or does not do anything at all. At least I tried and that makes my heart glad.

Think of all the times you weren't shown any compassion and how it made you feel. Hell, even a simple smile can make a perfect stranger feel like they aren't alone in the world. Put some effort into it and you can make other peoples lives easier. Where is the harm in that? I can only be responsible for my own actions, and I'm going to take action with the best intention I can muster.

Other humans matter because they are humans and they ripple just like I do. I don't have the power to change the world, I don't have lofty goals... I can't end human suffering, but I can effect one person. I can start that ripple.

 

Then you're a bigger person than I am. If someone torments/bullies/etc me I don't have compassion for them, I despise them.
Are you not forcing it upon yourself to feel compassion for them out some sense of duty ?

Hmm I have a slightly different view on that. Other people matter because I am human, not just because they are.

 

I am not bigger than anyone else. I just have a different attitude. One, that by all accounts and experience hasn't been wine and roses because of that attitude. But I don't despise anyone. Every human has a potential to be a better person given the opportunity. Some choose to do so, some never do. Either way, it doesn't change who I am in the slightest, why should it? Would my world be a better place if I were more guarded and jaded? I don't think so. Seeing a stranger smile back at me, even when it's because they think I'm insane for smiling at all, is gold. Pure gold.

Do I force compassion out of duty? No. It's because I know how good it feels when someone is compassionate with me. It's not a duty really, but more of a knowledge of the effect and power of compassion. In all my hippie glory, I would argue that compassion is the most powerful tool we have as humans and apathy our greatest enemy. It's just the way I choose to live my life and while I've had my ups and downs, I am loved and I love with a lot of passion. If I die, and the only thing I leave behind is that love, then I have given the greatest inheritance a human could give to the world.

The view isn't so different. Other people matter because I am human, and because they are too.