Why you should consider converting to christianity

He is struggling against Sinners and those who don't follow HIS word. (see, I capitalize the whole word, not just the first letter). It's a constant struggle against the Devil and the false gods and the Sinners. And because this struggle is eternal and never-ending, we must stop it with your donations and your open hearts.

Of course! HE is ominisent...omnisceint...mon...omniscient! Yeah...he is all of that. He is everywhere and everything. He is the universe, the stars, the Sun, the Moon, the galaxy, every galaxy, and the words in the Bible are HIS words. You can't deny it! The evidence for him is that WE ARE HERE.

Jesus is the Son of God, but also God himself, as they are one in the same. Jesus was created from God just like Eve was created from Adam. Therefore, Jesus is God.

I take it you don't follow the Lord's Word, Snakelord? Well, consider what can happen if you don't...money problems, burning in eternal hellfire, and a fat guy is going to punch you in the face next Tuesday. Love God.

PS- Snake, I said this was satire. I don't REALLY believe this...just having fun!

 

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I often wondered about that verse: "The LORD was with the men of Judah. They took possession of the hill country, but they were unable to drive the people from the plains, because they had iron chariots."

"Mysterious"

God's name is spelled with a capital G.
:bugeye:

I'll take it you were joking

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I wash thinking the other day. Xians are lucky in that, unlike Muslims, they can just say "I only follow the NT" and to hell with all the bullshit in the OT - done. Whereas Muslims on the other hand are stuck with the bullshit in the OT. I suppose the Baha' situation may have been able to act in a similar manner as the NT and allow Muslims to move into the 21st century, but, because Mo was the "Last" Prophet and the Qur'an is the literal word of God, most Muslims simply won't buy that something additional is needed and thus they are forever stuck in a 7th century middle eastern mindset.



So, really, that NT is a blessing in disguise

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Michael

 

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am i the only one who finds the irony in the fact that there are diffrent versions of the bible and its not mear translation issues there are diffrent books in some bibles then in others

 

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I'd like to see a web page that outlines the history of each type of Bible and when each of the books were added and removed.

 

This post is satire, the youtube clip is not:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aa1mTNqdFO8

 

You're absolutely right, PJDude. That book has been hacked and slashed more times than anyone wants to admit. I find it hysterical that people follow it, considering that no two "versions" are the same.

...wait, what? No! I mean...uh...Bible is God! Word's God! Er, I mean, God's Word! Yeah! Don't question it! Just follow it!

Today, I'd like to talk about that very text...our Savior's words on plain paper, ya'll. Talkin' bout the Bible, the Good Book. I hear a lot of folks, like young PJ over there, asking me why there are different versions, and why so many things don't make sense...and I just have to tell them,

"None of your business."

Yeah, that's right. The Bible is none of your business. As Christians, we are to accept God's Words or live in eternal hellfire in the afterlife, and constant financial and personal crisis in this life. You can nitpick it all you like while you're chained to hot magma in Lucifer's Dungeon, but if you're looking to get to the Pearly Gates, you had better quit it with the inquisition.

You need to give your mind to the Lord. You need to give your soul to the Lord. You need to take in every magnificent drop of ink on the page, suck it up til' there's nothin left. I want you to rub your face on that Bible, let the Bible love you! Touch your Bible, for it is the Word of your Savior!

You know what? Eat your Bible. That's right! The only way you can truly understand his mysterious and supernatural ways is to physically ingest His Word. Hey! Put down that mustard...

 

Righto, I kinda gave up reading after the "we need to believe in jesus.."

 

lol crown of thorns tickler.


peace.

 

I don't know. Allah and the Jewish God sound almost like the same, but the Christian God sounds a lot better than both, because Jesus is a lot better than Moses and Mohommad. If there's anyone to worship, its definitely Jesus. But then again the Old Testament says an enemy of the Jews is an enemy of God, and a lot of Muslims are against Jews, so they must be against God. But Jesus also says "he who is not against us is for us" so I don't know....

 

Which is all a good reason to throw the bible, the koran, and the torah in the rubbish bin (or at least shelve them in the reference section of the library) and follow humanist standards. Each of those books are so full of contradiciton, violence, and outright hatred (with only sprinkles of wisdom and goodness here and there), they have no place in modern society.

 

She also has a serious endocrine problem, morbidly obese being another symptom.